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Messages By: msfitmom50

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August 13, 2005, 3:34 pm CDT

Teen son is into porn +

I really would appreciate advice about this. My son is 15 and frequents a lot of porn web sites. I just confirmed this tonight when I made him show me the history on his web surfer software. He bought the computer for himself a couple of years ago with money he earned from a summer job, so just like not opening his mail, I let him have his privacy with his computer. When he was younger, about 7-12, he had gotten into a nasty habit of stealing his sister's underwear, wearing them and soiling them, then hiding them. I was baffled for years and my daughter (who is 3 years older) was convinced it was him. One day I found the stash of dirty underwear... and a video tape that he had secretly made of my daughter getting ready for bed over a few nights. I made him erase the tape and banned him from TV for a few weeks, put a lock on my daughter's door, and tryed talking to him. He was angry with me He hated me He denied having a problem He promised he would never do it again... Daughter was gone for a year, just returned. She suspected that he was wearing her underwear again, which is when I confronted my son and found out about the porn and again told him that porn encourages disrespect of women and that sneaking into his sister's room and wearing her underwear indicated a problem with sex and that I would like him to see a psychologist about the problem. He denies he has one. I am sick about this for both my kids. Please let me know what you think.
 
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August 22, 2005, 9:31 pm CDT

Teen son is into porn +

Quote From: jenoc99

Just because he bought the computer with his own money doesn't mean he should have free reign of the internet. You are 100% right to be concerned that his porn habit could lead to him disrespecting women and feeling that sex is no big deal. He is only 15, of course he is going to deny that he has a problem!! But you are the mother, you must take this matter very seriously and contact a therepist for him and tell that person the whole story, including the underwear incidents. The underwear wearing, soiling, and hiding in itself is a complicated issue that he needs professional help for. If you don't make him go to see a professional, you are denying him the opportunity to become a healthy and well adjusted adult. He isn't going to want to go, but its up to you to make that non-negotiable. You've got to get tough.
Thanks for your replies. They are "shoring" me up for the confrontation for psych care. I have given him an article explaining the problems with porn and a list of psychologists in the area. He, of course, has not read them. I am making a appt. Thanks for your help. I'll let you know what happens
 

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