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Messages By: heather_79

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July 22, 2005, 3:37 pm CDT

1-2-3 Magic!!!!

I have found an effective way of discplining my children, they are ages 6, 2 and 6 months. I reallize a child likes to have an impact on the world, whether it be throwing a rock into the creek, or throwing cheerios on the floor, or even getting on your last nerve with endless questions and  demands!!! I have started applying a program called 1-2-3 magic and it has been a lifesaver. When a child is getting into things like my 2 year old loves to do, I just simply say,  "That's 1", and if they continue I say, "That's 2" and if they make it to 3 then I say "take five", and then I send them to their room for 5 minutes. I don't say anything at all just start counting. The key is consistency, and showing no emotion. The program states that parents talk to children too much and to emotionally, they can't comprehend on an adult level, so why talk to them the way you would an adult? It has worked for me, and my 6 yr old now looks at me and rolls her eyes by the time I say "That's 1", You have to make sure you explain to your child that things are changing around your household, and be honest and tell them how you are going to handle things now (by counting). Another thing, when they come out of their room after 5 minutes, don't bring up what happened, it's over, they have a clean slate!!! It works for me, and my stress level has decreased tremendously!!! If you want a copy of the program, I can send it to you via e-mail: heathergatlin@hotmail.com
 
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July 23, 2005, 7:30 am CDT

Reply to wow!!!

I am not patronizing my child, I am getting my household back, my children need to know who is in charge, that is what is wrong with children today, they have no boundaries, and no authority. You have to set those boundaries for them as a parent. My six year old and I have a great relationship, but instead of treating her like my best friend, I treat her as a child who needs to be molded into an adult, being an adult comes with time and learning. It's not just something they get off the bat. The counting method is working and it has made my home more peaceful, and we all get along alot better. Not everyone will agree, but again what works for one person, may not work for another. This let's a child know that they have boundaries, and that they can't get there way all the time. I believe if you read over the program and understood it a little better, you would understand, but I live in a Christian home, and I truly believe that my children need authority, they will learn to appreciate it when they get older!!!
 
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July 23, 2005, 7:41 am CDT

added comment

Children also learn by consistency, I'm not saying that everytime they open their mouth I start counting, but when I tell my child no, and they continue, then I start counting, it's like I said, parents do too much talking and not enough action, when you sit there and tell a child "quit doing that", "you always get on my nerves", "you don't understand like I do" that's exactly right, they don't understand, and you are falling prey to their tactics, one time they make you feel bad, and then they try to compromise the situation, and sometimes they just continuously harp on it until you give in, the fact is YOU ARE THE ADULT, I could see start counting as opposed to yelling screaming, cussing, and getting all stressed out!!! that's just me!!!
 
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July 23, 2005, 8:48 am CDT

True Love

Hello, i have just recently broke up with my boyfriend who was abusive to me also. I am happy to be out of the relationship but at the same time i still love him and want to be with him. he now has his whole family ( who i got along with well before) hating me. i want very much for us all to just get along but im not sure how to approach them or if i should even try.

If I were you I'd leave the situation alone on the family, I wouldn't ponder on emotion too much, it has a tendancy to change like the wind. If you love him take your time and explain to him that things have to change in order for it to continue. He has to prove that to you!!! You deserve to be loved and cherished. Don't sell yourself short, and don't waste your time waiting for that change. Live your life, and if it happens that you two can get back together, then Great!!!, but don't waste your life, you deserve better than being treated wrongly! No man is worth your tears, and the one that is won't make you cry!!!

 
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July 23, 2005, 9:03 am CDT

Newcomer!!! LOL!!!

Hello everyone,

   I am Heather, I am a 26 yr old mother of three beautiful girls, I live in Arkansas w/ my hubby!!!  I just got married in May, and I am fighting depression, well, overcoming I should say!!! I am currently taking Lexapro, and I am exploring my Life in Christ!!! Wooohooo, Jesus Saves!!! I am a devout Christian, and love reading Joyce Meyer books!!! Would love to make new friends who have the same interests, and who are or have been going through depression, panic dosorder, or agoraphobia. I have been fighting panic for the last three yrs, and am now slowly overcoming it. I hope you all have a great day, and God Bless!!!

 
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July 23, 2005, 9:19 am CDT

Depression

Hi Heather,

I also take Lexapro, fight Agoraphobia, acute anxiety and panic disorder. Have for the last 6 years due to a stress illness from work and like you are slowly getting over it. My depression is clinical and genetic.

I opened my own business to make myself get out there and help myself. Panic atacks have gone from continual to down to about 3 a day. I live in Melbourne, Aus.

Welcome to the board.

Blessings,

Karen.

Mine is genetic and clinical, as well, I suffered a stroke in 2003 after I gave birth to my second child, and have had panic ever since, I don't have panic hardly at all anymore, I just notice this feeling of ill all the time, like I can't shake it off or something, does that make since??? I am getting out there and enjoying my life though!!! Nothing is going to keep me down, I have too much too live for, and I hope that I have the oppurtunity to help others with this situation!!!
 
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July 23, 2005, 9:27 am CDT

Your Parenting Style

I pick and choose my battles too, and I do explain to them on their level, but not at a time when I am enforcing authority, I chooose to explain to them when they ask or when we are having a casual conversation, I want to be able to bestill in my children values that they can bestill in their children as well. I'm not trying to sound like a bitter mother that treats their children like a nobody, I am just trying to get control over the house.

 
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July 24, 2005, 1:14 pm CDT

Midwest Center Program

Hey everybody, I just wanted to let you all know of a program called Attacking Anxiety and Depression. Some of you may have heard of it, but for those that don't I have been doing it and it has been working for me. The program is close to $500.00, but all of you know that there isn't anything you wouldn't do to just get rid of it, besides, yhou could probably get sponsors to help you get it, like a pastor, or a Doctor. Anyways, it's a 15 week program, and I felt better my forst two weeks. You might check into it, It helps to relate with others that have the same problems.....Here is the link http://www.stresscenter.com  You all have a great day!!! God BlessYOU!!!
 
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July 25, 2005, 1:08 pm CDT

I understand

Quote From: sweets537

How do u make someone understand that depression is real? Alot of people think that I just use it as an excuse, well at least I think they do anyway. how do u explain depression to someone? How do u make someone who has never felt depression understand the way you feel when you are at your lowest? Like today, my mood is aggrivated, sad, lonely, pissed off at the world, and hating my life. How do i make someone see that this is real and I am not just making it up?
Hi, I understand completely, it's hard for my husband to understand, but just remember, you are not alone, and though some may not understand, don't let them interfere with you and your progress. If you want my advice, you should turn to the good Lord above, and ask him for guidance, understanding, and He will change you and your situation, you have to have faith, I know what it's like to fight this depression. It's scary, lonely, and life consuming. I used to be unable to take care of my kids, I hated who I was and what I was turning out to be. God showed me that the only way to get over depression is to go through it!!!! The mere thought scared me, but I am still going through it, and  if you want to get over this, you have to get up, get out, and get busy!!! You need to start meditating on God's word, and don't quit!!! Keep reading it, and studying it, renewal of the mind!!!! You think bad thoughts, you'll have a bad life, you think good thoughts and renew the mind with God's word, you will have a fruitful and productive life, but you have to keep meditating, if you have to have a bible in front of your face all day long so be it!!! Get your mind on something other than your depression!!! Another thing, you  can't have what you talk against, so instead of saying, I have depression, you say i am overcoming depression!!!
 
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July 25, 2005, 1:13 pm CDT

Depression

Quote From: jazzz6

HAVE ANY OF YOU EVER FELT AS THOUGH YOU DROVE YOURSELF TO YOUR END, WITHOUT KNOWING, NATURALLY, UNTIL YOU WERE FORCED TO FACE THE ISSUES? I LOOK BACK OVER MY YEAR AND IT SEEMS TO ME THAT SOMETHING, SOME PART OF MYSELF, PLAYED THE ROLL OF PUSHING ME PAST MY LIMITS. I AM ALSO WONDER IF IN THE DRIVE I SECRETLY WANTED TO GO ON OVER SO I WOULD HAVE A LEGIMATE REASON TO QUIT??? DO I EVEN NEED ANYONE'S PERMISSION TO SAY ENOUGH, STOP!!

I HAVE ALWAYS DRIVEN HARDER THAN MOST PEOPLE I KNOW. AT AGE 5 I WAS READ THE STORY ABOUT THE TRAIN (?) THAT SAID I KNOW I CAN, I KNOW I CAN. I'VE BEEN LIKE THAT, SOMEONE WOULD SAY YOU CAN'T AND I WOULD SAY WATCH. DANG, IT WAS SO GOOD AND SOOO BAD. MY MOM TOLD ME ONCE TO STOP PROVING THAT I DON'T NEED ANYONE.....

CALL ME JAZZ OR BECKY

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF SOMEONE HAS A CLUE ABOUT THIS KIND OF MADNESS....

Yoiu have a strong will, and it yeah I understand what you mean, and because of that strong will it probably has casued you to get to into this situation, but it's that strong will that will also get you out of it!!!
 

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