Messages By: faith__

I have been feeling lower than usual. I think I will go take the depression test myself. 

I had another bad day of phone calls between Emily and her dad. THey beat up so to speak then I am left wondering why I feel like the bottom of a sewer. 

Good thing today...  Logan had a playdate with her two friends and my dogs got bathed and groomed :))  The simple things in life are what I look forward to forget the rest. :) 

Wanna go jump on a kiddie ride with me :) 

this is Logan with her big wax lips... :) like I said the simple things :) 

Hi, after a series of calls today I have decided that I will remove myself totally from this situation for a bit. It may take NOT having me at all to realize that she cannot talk to me and be disrespectful. It is hard but it is my only option.  

It doesn't help either that he leads the way with the disrespect. So I just have given up for now. I need a total break. I am confident that the school special education department will be helpful to her and even if dad keeps his blinders on she will at least be ok at school. What she does with her emotions after school is up to her and her dad. I cannot take the abuse anymore. That is what it has become.  

SO yes I will turn my ringers off and run out of the house... What kind of kiddie ride should we jump on :) 

Thank you for your support. 

I did do the depression test and have questioned higher authority on what I should do ;o) 

Take care 

Tammy 

Yes sometimes I just need a puch from the behind to get me going :) 

I am to busy often being the caretaker that I neglect my own needs and health until I am falling apart. So before I have to put the pieces of me into a brown paper bag and carry myself to the pdoc I better go while still in one piece but I have just thought of something that may work out for me so will look into it and keep everyone posted. 

Thanks a bunch 

Tammy 

I am off to watch Dog the Bounty Hunter and BB6 

I am a flipper so watch 2-3 shows at one time :) no wonder my brain is tired all the time lol 

Goodnight 

I too like it when the brain is not in speed mode. It is very tiring. 

I think your idea for school is a good one. 

I will drop a line once I get Logan settled tomorrow afternoon.  

Thank you for all the kind words of support 

Tammy 

is there a difference (morally) between wanting to die and suicide ? i know the impacts are different to those around you, but what if they knew that a day didn't go by that you didn't wish god would end your life here on this earth ? there isn't a day that goes by that i don't include this in my prayers. always, first and foremost though, i want my kids to be happy (which they really are not, affect on them from my illness) second will god take me from this world to allow me to begin the process of waiting in the vague area of purgatory. waiting, maybe forever ? 

the pain here is unbearable..the pain of knowing you can't even help your own children through life because you can't even get through it yourself. i am ever at my lowest low i have ever been. 

will this death wish ever come ? 

i'll have to re-post using word (?)....... 

i lost the post because it took me too long to type..... 

just wanted you to know that i replied 

Hi Pat, 

We all know that meds don't cure bipolar. But neither can CBT. The condition is irreversible. 

CBT can be an effective tool in managing the condition, and help in compliance of a med routine and even reduce the severity and frequency of depression or mania. In this way it can improve the quality of life, but if used exclusively, it could spell disaster. 

Ted