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July 31, 2005, 10:25 pm CDT

Toxic Family Relationships

Quote From: dynasty

Hi Dr.Phil,

  My parents have been married for 22 years. They started dating when they were only 12. My brother was born when they were 17. They had my sister when they were 22 and me when they were 25.  Although my parents have been together for so long, their entire lives is a complete mess.  You see, my father is anything but a loving father and husband. In fact , he's the complete opposite.  I do admit he has been the primary financial supporter of the family, but that is all he has provided.  When I think of my father, I think of a liar, adulterer, and wife beater. For as long as I can remember, my father has been unfaithful to my mother. In fact, he has two kids outside of the marriage. (Their mother is his cousin)  What makes my father infidelity so bad is that he thinks nothing is wrong with it. He has never tried to hide his affairs.  For example, When i was little my mother had several nervous breakdowns, instead of my father allowing my siblings and I to stay with family, we were forced to live with one of his girlfriends.  His affairs are so bad, that we can't go anywhere without running into one of his mistress.  For example, while at my mother's niece wedding, a lady kept staring at me, finally my sister told me she was a fling of my  father's.  What's even worse than his affairs is his abuse.(mentally and physically) My father has always cursed my mother out and called her terrible names.  He was very physically abusive when I was little and then he kind of toned it down.  Just the other day he slapped my mother. When my sister threatened to call the cops, we all got into a verbal confrontation. He's now angry and hasn't talked to my sister or I in days. I am 17 years old and will be entering college in august.  He told me that he will not be of any financial assistance to me. I'm am the only one of his five children to go to college.  He told me to consider him dead.  I don't know what to do.

hi,,im sooooo sorry to hear how crappy it is for you,,why dont you write an email to dr phil ,,maybe he will help you out,,you are much too young to have so much grief,,a mother with nerve problems is hard also,,mine included,,,i can relate to some of what you said,,but you must get help,you need to get to college and make what you can out of your life for yourself,,god luck my friend,,wish i could help
 

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