Messages By: u092407

Hi!

I lost weight years ago and am happy to share, because it STAYS OFF....

I'm a great believer in soups. Easy to prepare (just chuck in whatever is allowed, add water, simmer...done! They fill up pretty well too. If you want to feel full faster, do not mix the soup, but leave it chunky. Seems to help.

Use strong herbs. They seem to help with the satisfaction too.

Don't like your veggies? Soup's the savior there too: Mix the soup, you won't even recognise what's in it. Add whatever flavorings you like, and if necessary close your eyes and drink ik out of a cup... Slowly. Then start on your 'real' meal, grilled meat, fish, whatever. With the trimmings that are 'allowed'. Your brain will have registered you started eating with the soup, but that will be mostly water with vegetables and maybe a smidgen of lean meat... Do count the calories, though.

Another good trick is for the infamous "munchies" ... Don't you hate those? They creep up on you at the most terrible times. Always make sure you have a stick of sugarfree gum with you. I used it to keep my mouth occupied and then concentrated on getting my mind occupied.

More tips will follow.

Finding it difficult to take in enough fluids? I kept a small bottle of water by my side at all times. In the car, at work... you name it. Every time I saw it, I took a sip. As soon as it was empty, I re-filled it.

My weight problem has dissapeared years ago but I kept the habit. I drink a gallon of water(4,5 litres) a day. Great for the skin, too...

You know those times when you just HAVE to have some candy, or a greasy burger? I was lucky enough to start dieting with a couple of friends and a few times, when we just couldn't be good anymore, we'd get just one 'sinful' item and share it amongst us. That way, the amount was smaller, and afterwards we would all cheer eachother along to get on the wagon again... Okay, not a single bite of greasy burger is better than one bite, but only one bite is better than scoffing the whole thing, no? It felt wonderful to be 'bad' together and we managed to get some kind of peer pressure thing going afterwards: "okay, we've had our thing, now it's back to business"...

Sometimes, I'd wake up at night with the  munchies... Just couldn't sleep. Had to eat SOMETHING... I started eating frozen fruit.

Brushing your teeth often and chewing menthol (sugarfree) gum also helps: You'll find you do not want to lose that 'fresh' feeling. And: ever tried to drink orange juice just after you brushed your teeth or had a mint? Yech!

Hi!

I don't fully agree with the judge that told you not to marry anyone who has sthe same or more than you. Some people have great potential: my own father came from nothing and only had a degree to his name. He did not have a job, but he did have a huge study loan. My mother came from a well-to-do family; they even had a live-in maid. My parents got married against the wishes of my mother's parents... in 1968. They still are married. Just before he retired, my father earned over 10'000 USD a month! He is a great husband to my mother, a great father to my sister and me, and a super grandfather to my nephew, my niece and my daughter.

And get this: HE asked for a prenup. Because he wanted to prove he is trustworthy...

It makes me sad that people sometimes just look at their assets or the assets of their partners, but I'm VERY happy such a thing as prenuptual agreements exist. I say: take a good, honest look at yourself, at your partner, and at your relationship. Work out a worst-case scenario and base your prenup on that. Work out the prenup together. Sign it and be happy.

I am not a lawyer, but here's my advice:

So happy you want to do the smart thing and get a prenup. But CAREFUL!!!!! Do NOT ask your future mother-in-law to help you draw one up, as she is biased. Remember: everything in that piece of paper is binding and almost impossible to overturn. Get yourself a lawyer and draw up a reasonable agreement. If you are confident you want nothing from him, ask that he provide for any children you might get and ask to keep anything he gives you during the marriage. I would personally add a small monthly amount for myself. Or maybe a milder clause: Should you by any chance be unable to go and provide for yourself (accident leading to a disability, child with a handicap needing extensive care...), then he should provide for you.

Most of all: be happy...

Good on you!

Just do not forget that your family's money might be lost in a couple of years. My aunt married a man whose family was obscenely rich. 5 years into their marriage, the family-owned business went bancrupt and my uncle lost not only his money, but his job too. He was over 40 years old and has not found a job since. His knowledge is too specific and he is considered too old... Because of the prenup, if my aunt divorces him, she stands to lose everything she has built up over the years. Be sure to provide for yourself if the family money runs out, either by working or by adapting the terms of your prenup.

Girl, it just depends on the reason of the breakup. Was he unfaithful? Did he beat you? Did he take money from you?

Consider: Did he finish high school? Is he going to college? If not, does he have a job? Love is beautiful, but if this guy is not trustworthy (cheating, stealing, lying...) or if he is not willing to work at a good future (either by studying or by working), BE VERY CAREFUL.

I wasted a good future on a bad guy. I could have had a university degree and the nicer salary that comes with it. I was stupid and in love... for 6 years. I found out he was ceating because he gave me an STD... (Fortunately, I got treated and now I am healty). We broke up. When he asked me to take him back, I told him no. I still loved him but I chose for a better future, even if it meant crying myself to sleep for months.

Guess what? I met someone else and he is wonderful. We live in a nice house with a beautiful garden, I have the most beautiful baby daughter in the world, we have no worries about money and I am SO happy I dumped the creep.

In general, I think prenups are good. Okay, marriage is supposed to be forever, etc. etc. Unfortunately, a lot can happen. Marriage might be forever for YOU but it might not be for your partner.

Also: if YOU are the one with the money, how do you know your sweetheart marries you for you, not your assets. If you are the 'poor' one, how can you show your partner you're not a gold-digger?

You might also want to consider this: In a couple of years, the roles might be totally reversed. The 'poor' one might win the lottery or inherit millions from a long-lost aunt, the 'rich' one might go bancrupt through no fault of his/her own...

It is best to get at least the money issues out of the way. That way, you can concentrate on eachother and forget about those bank accounts. After all, that's what the marriage is about: the two people in it.

Just don't exaggerate. Prenups can be terribly one-sided, so NEVER sign anything that is. A prenup should be fair to BOTH parties and should not be over-controlling. It is not a rule-book for the day-to-day routine of life. I heard about prenups that state the minimum amount of times a couple should have sex, who should gas up the car, etc. That is ridiculous.

I think the overall thing is: reason and fairness. Draw up something that is fair and that you both can agree to. Sign it and then try your very, very best becoming a happy couple.