Messages By: normalita

Hi there, I like your idea, but that is probably way too simple.   LOL  But my problem with the IRS is the fact that they made a mistake, not me.  They sent me one of their nasty threatening letters on a transaction that was already done, sent in, paid in full.......what ever.  They did not bother to look at my account to see what activity had taken place, because if they had, they would have seen that there was a note on my account to the fact that my papers had been received almost 3 weeks before this time.  I have been searching the web for almost 3 weeks now and I have yet to find a place to file a complaint.  I can find all sorts of agencies or websights that "might" be able to help or I send an email and never hear back.  People need to stop being affraid of the IRS.  I know they can ruin your life, but this time this is thier screw up and they need to face the music just the same as we do when something goes wrong.  But the way I am seeing it, they screwed up, so they can just retreat and hide.  I call fowl on this one.  If anyone that reads this knows of an avenue for me to use, I would love to hear it.  They made me very mad and having a nice day did not happen that day and I just don't think I needed to be put through that.  

Thanks and have a great weekend.  Pray for the people in Louisiana and Mississippi!  

NOrma  

Is this possible?  I have heard that it is.  I am wondering if men have the same symptoms as women? 

My husband and I have had some significant life changes in the last couple of years.  Situations that were very heart wrenching and we had to make some tough decisions.  We have had to hang tough and draw a very hard line in the sand and stand by it and dare anyone to cross it.  Some of it was with immediate family, which is hard, other of it was work related. 

All this aside, we came through it ok and the decisions we made have put us in a better place now.  But now, my husband goes through these bouts of depression.  You can't reason with him.  He brings stuff up from the past, that we can't change or do anything about now.  He mopes, he's cranky, he's tired all the time, he can't sleep, he craves sweets.  He has all the symptoms of menopause.  Am I crazy?  I should be the one acting like this and I don't have any of it.  I have a mood swing or two now and then, but that is it. 

Is there medication for him?  Could he take what women take?  I am looking for a way to calm him down, make him more like his old self.  My husband is usually Mr. Nice Guy.  Very layed back, always has a joke to tell or a funny story, he is liked by everyone he meets, just a super nice guy.  Now, we have days where he is just a beast and I can't stand him. 

If anyone has any information I am all ears.  I would like to get as much information as I can, so when I approach him with what I suspect, I want to be ready.  Any help would be appreciated. 

Thanks,  Norma 

I am wiring to day about a problem I am having collecting money owed from a customer.  Let me say that I have been a collector for many years and everyhting I have tried does not work. 

My husband and I have a small business and as of late we have been working for a company almost exclusevely.  My husband had been working day and night for these people ,   He has bent over backwards for them, he has worked weekends and late at night, just to get certain parts of a project done on time.  They are always pushing him for more, more more.  He can not move fast enough.  They have also ask that we submit our invoices to them weekly.  Which we have also done.  But when it comes time for payment, we get nothing.  The accountant at the head office is a jerk.  He only pays if you call and at that I have to call a couple of times.  He lies, he tells me he will send payment, then doesn't.  When he does send payment, he will break it up in to little increments.  I always give them 3o days to pay.  But they manage to drag it out for 45 days or longer.  My only other choice is to turn them in for collections, but they always manage to send a check before that happens.  I have faxed final notices that say contact me immediately about this, and they never do.  As was the case yesterday, I called several times through out the day and EVERY TIME I was told this accountant was on the phone.  Then when hec called back, too late in the day to give me an answer, he said he wasn't at the office.  Someone lied to me.  Then I tried to contact him this morning again and I insisted in talking to him and he basically told me, I am too busy to talk to you and I am not going to and he hung up.  My husband is ready to stop working for them.  I am very upset with the disrespect.  All I want to know is when is my payment going to be sent.  I need to know what else I can do?  I have thought about making up a letter of intent that states our work is now complete and have him sign it and write down when I can expect payment.  Is this legal?  Then, when he doesn't pay I can say, you promised to send payment.  I would also like the letter to say that if this happens, then thier account will be sent to my lawyer, no more questions.  But I need help wiritng it.  I need help to make it sound official.  This guy doesn't take me seriously.  I am sick of it.   Please help. 

Thanks for writing a response.  You know what hit the fan yesterday.  I finally got in touch with the bean counter to this company and we had it out.  I told him exactly what I needed, which is my payment....Now.  I am not going to get it.  He says they are in deep financial trouble and he can only pay so much every week.  I decided to take it, before he told me he would not pay at all. I also made him fax me a letter in writing of his intent. But I told him exactly how I feel about his not returning my phone calls and lying to me just to buy time.  I also told him I am going to charge him for my collection time and since I am going to have to sit on our money I am going to call the bank today and have them calculate the interest on my credit line and I am going to add it to our invoices and he is going to pay my interest.  I have not given up on the idea of calling my lawyer for more collections.  I have also thought about calling the labor board in Pennsylvania where this guy works.  They might like to know what he is up to.  My husband is going to move out of the plant today.  Any projects that need to be finished are going to wait until they get thier balance paid.  We also talked about IF he goes back down there, there is going to be a different way of getting payment. For the other posters.......We work there because we live in a very fast growing area.  My husband is the only one in our area that does food grade stainless steel welding, piping and installation of the systems they use.    He likes doing the work and as of late there has been a ton.  So we do have some leverage that way.  If my husband walks out.  This company is hosed.  We have tons of other customers and lots of other jobs going.  This company is not our only means of revenue.  We have 3 guys working in the shop on everything else.  This company sticks out, because of all my customers and all the people I deal with everyday, they are the ones, I have the most trouble with and if I don't stay on top of my account.  They will let it sit until H....freezes over.  I can charge service charges and they won't pay them.  This bean counter guy is a big JERK!  I am flattly disgusted with this guy and if he misses just one payment, he is going to my lawyer for collections.  I refuse to deal with him any longer. 

Have a great weekend everyone. 

Norma 

you can email if you like my address is: 

fire_mom3@yahoo.com 

There is an underscore between fire and mom.  Thanks for writing back.  I am going to need some help with this situation if that's ok. 

I got a letter that states that this company is going to send us a certain amount everyweek.  I had the bean counter guy send it to me, because as I was talking to him, I ask, "how do I know you will do what you say"  Something he knows nothing about.  He caughed and stammered, and said " don't know"  So I told him fax it to me today.  And he did.  So I do have that and after ouconversation last Thurday, if he misses even one payment, for what ever reason, he is going to my lawyer for further collections.  I am done trying to reason with this jerk. 

We found out friday that the bean counter guy and another head guy in the home office, spent all the money that was given to them by investors for the projects that my husband has been working on.  My husband went down to the plant today and there were alot of people talking about lay offs.  So it is getting bad.   

This company is not our only means of income.  IT has just been a very steady one for over a year now.  We learned early on to be diverse enough that if one thing goes away, you still have more.  That is where we are at.  But still when you loose something like this, it makes an impact. 

Please email me and I will explain more.  I am off to my other job. 

Talk to you soon 

Norma 

I need someone to explain this to me. 

I am having a hard time understanding people.  From my point of view, I always give people benefit of the doubt until the other person proves me wrong.  I always give people ( in general) just an once of respect at our first meeting.  I always say thank you, sorry and excuse me.  But I feel like am the only one.  There is the saying that goes around in here, you teach people how to treat you.  Well....what is wrong with this way?  And believe me I am not a door mat either.  I have people who do not like me, because I am too direct. 

I can be walking along at the store, no one knows me, I have not said anything, just shopping and people will run into me, they step in front of me with out a word of excuse me.  I am going down the street in my car, I always run with my lights on, even in the daytime, people pull out in front of me, causing me to have to step hard on the brakes.   

Where did all these rude people come from?  Why is being nasty first always better?  Why can't people look beyond their own nose to realise there are other people around them? 

I read the last couple of posts in here, and I find it really funny that there are so many evil mother in laws.  My situation is a little different, but the end result is the same.  My father in law died early on.  My husband and I had only been married 3 years and our daughter was only 6 mo. when he passed.  Life was very sweet until the day he died.  My mother in law turn into broom hilda.  What we have come to realise is: my mother in law is a closet alcoholic.  My father in law kept her under control, but the minute he died, she was free to do what ever she wanted and she usually did.  She has never liked me.  She said I stole her baby when my husband and I got married.  So when my father in law died, she wanted her son back.  She resented the fact that he had to go home at some point because I was waiting.  At one point in our lives we had to move to another state to find work.  My husband went to his new job and I stayed behind with our 2 kids to sell the house and get things together so we could go and be with him.  My mother in law would come over and act like she really cared and would talk to me about how the hunt for new owners to our home was going.  She would take this little bit of information and run home and call my husband and tell a story that did not even resemble what actually happened.  Then he would call me and be mad and didn't understand and it was just ugly.  I was even thinking I wanted to divorce this man.  But after everything came together and we had time to sit and talk things out.  We noticed that the stories she had told him and what actually happened were not the same.  She was trying to break us up in some suttle way.  That was the beginning of the end for her.  Now it is 20plus years later.  WE have absolutely no contact with her at all.  No phone calls on mothers day, no sharing presents at Christmas,....Nothing.  Every so often she will send a newspaper article or pictures of someone we used to know, but we do not respond to them.  She keeps trying to invite us to family reunions, we do not go.  A few years ago my husband tried to talk to his mom and explain his feelings.  Everything he brought up, she denied any knowledge of it and the few things she did remember, she blamed on me.....So we have cut her off.  Our lives are way better with out her in it.  OUr 2 kids are grown and have their own families, which we are part of.  I get along with my daughter in law and I have unlimited access to my grandson.  I have a son in law that tells me I can come to visit and stay as long as I want.  So Itry to focas on that.  My mother in law has been gone from our lives for so long now we don't even give her another thought.  We still think about all the bad stuff she created for us early on and try to figure out why.  But it just doesn't matter any more. 

I have been reading some of the latest posts and I have gone past stress to another level and I have no idea where it comes from.  I have no idea when it will happen or why. 

Early on in my married life, my husband and I had some very rough times.  My husbands father died at the age of 49.  My husbands mother turned very nasty after that.  We lived in an area where the economy was very poor and over a span of 8 years my husband was laid off more than he wasn't.  We eventually had to move to another state to find work.  Our children were very little at the time and life was really hard.  Well.......we got through it, we are fine and our kids are grown and gone and have families of thier own now.  But about 2 years ago I went out to my pantry in the garage to get some canned goods and when I opened the door, there sat my 2 kids with tears in thier eyes saying, "I'm hungry mommy"  Like they were so many years ago.  Then in an instant they were gone.  I don't know where that came from.  I had not thought about this situation in a very long time.  I had a melt down right there in the garage.  The tears started flowing and I was very upset for a few minutes.  Then that was the last time that happened until about 4 months ago.  I went out early one morning to mow our lawn before I went to work.  I am riding around, thinking what a nice day it was (july) and listening to the sound of the mower drowned out all the other noises.  Again, out of no where I hear someone calling my name, I look around, thinking someone has stopped to visit me, what I saw was my grandmother who died almost 30 years ago standing in my driveway waving at me.  Then just like before, in an instant she was gone.  I had to stop mowing and go in the house for a few minutes, I was just blown away.  Then in the past couple of weeks I have been waking up in the middle of the night for no reason and I am so scared, my heart is racing and I am affraid to move.  I have to lay there for a few minutes and look around the room to make sure everything is alright.  Then it takes a while to go back to sleep. 

I don't know where this comes from.  I have no idea why my subconscience is digging up all this stuff.  It's very scarry and I am getting concerned.  I don't know if I need to go see a councelor and get this stuff off my mind, I'm not sure I would remember everything to get rid of it.  I just don't know what to do.  Any suggestions? 

Hi all 

I am writing in regard to a situation I encountered recently at my bus driving job.  I am a sub - driver for our local school district.  All combined I have driven bus for 12 years now.  I used to drive a regular route.  But, the last few years, I have been busy helping my husband run his construction business, so subbing is what I do now. 

A couple of years back the manager of the bus garage retired and we now have a new manager.  In the time that he has been there, he has changed things around and he is making some really bad decisions.  He had 2 of his drivers quit last year over fiels trips.  Some people get all of them others don't get any.  He has told me that since I am "only a sub" I don't get field trips.  Which, with everything else I do, it's not a big deal to me.  But what is a big deal is what happened around Thanksgiving time.......  I had made arrangements with one of the drivers to drive her route both morning and afternoon for the 3 days leading up to Thanksgiving, so she could go away with her family.  I have 15 minute drive to the bus garage, so I was up and ready to go on time each day.  On the second day, I was up and on my way and when I get to the bus garage, the bus that I was driving was gone.  I searched all over the bus yard, thinking maybe I was taking a different bus this morning.  My boss was also gone.  I ask one of the mechanics that was there, and they said that my boss has left a few minutes ago.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  So, I went home.  But mind you I was livid.  I called my boss on his cell phone, which he didn't answer, and ask him what was up?  I was not late, I drove the day before and nothing was wrong.  I was not understanding this.  He called me back as soon as the run was over and just appologised all over himself.  He gave me some stupid excuses like, one of the other subs always left him hanging, I never have.  He said he heard sirens and assumed I was maybe in traffic.  I was not.  I ask if he has my cell phone number.  Which I knew he did, because that is what we were talking on.  I ask why hadn't he called me to see if I was coming, how close I was, etc etc.  He didn't have an answer.  Fact of the matter is, he came in to work with his head up his you know where and did not give me one ounce of respect for doing what I said I would do and that is being there to drive the morning route.  I was so upset and he begged me to come and drive for him.  He told me, he doesn't want any one else subbing for him........Lier........... 

After this all happened, he has me scheduled another day and it was early out.  I had not looked at the schedual real close and I missed the fact that it was early out.  I would have thought that he might have called me to remind me and make sure I was coming in.......when did he call?   At 2:15, when I should have been there already. 

I just don't know what to do.  I went in today and he had goodies and gifts for everyone because of Christmas.  I left mine sitting on the counter.  So he comes running after me with it.  He seems to think that a gift with a pretty bow on it is going to fix things. (he also is refusing to talk about any of the before mentioned situations.  I am just supposed to get over it)I refused to take it at first, but I didn't want him to cry so I took it and thanked him for it. 

I used to look forward to going to the bus garage and visiting with the other drivers and being part of the group.  But now, I get mad on the drive over to the bus garage.  I don't like being there. 
So, I am thinking I need to quit.  Where I am a sub, I am not vital to the operation of the bus garage.  The only bad part is, I like the little bit of cash this job always gives me.  I have also made some really nice friends there and I would miss them if I didn't go over there any more.  So I need some advice on how to handle this situation.  I should quit, because I am angry.  But I shouldn't quit and be more forgiving I guess.  But I am too black and white thinking to just roll over. 

HELP! 

I need to know, what do you do when the toxic person in your life is your husband.  I know, get rid of him, right.  But it doesn't happen all the time.  My husband and I have a unique relationship.  We are not only married (30 years and counting), but we run a small business together.   A good share of the time, things are great, we work well together, we can make decisions about the business and we just take care of things.  But there are those times when, he won't let me do my job.  I am the bookkeeper, collections, AR, AP, payroll, you name it. 

I don't like it when accounts run to 60 days and we have had no communication, no partial payment, I have sent statements and late notices and still nothing.  So I add service charges to thier account as well and I expect them to be paid.  I don't always get them, but I start out with all the good intent.  I have threatened further collection action and anything I can do.  My husband will sometimes give me a hand with it and go talk to the contractor who is holding our money.  But sometimes he won't, but then he yells at me for doing it.  He tells me I am too pushy.  And, there are some contractors that we have worked for, for a long time (repeat business) and he will not go after them for anything.  Oh, just leave them alone, they will pay.  I get so frustrated.  I am sitting here right now worrying about a long time contractor who is sitting on our money.  In the past they have always paid well and applying service charges and sending late notices has never been an issue.  Well, this time, my husband did a job for them.  When I sent the invoice at the end of the job there were some questions on thier part. They didn't call,  they did not pay at 30 days like usual.  I had to send a late notice.  AT that point they did call and found out that part of the problem they had with our charges, was because of something they did not take care of.  So, they agreed to pay our invoice.  But as of today it is still not paid, and the first of next week the invoice is 60 days past due.  So I sent a statement and applied $100.00 to thier account.  I am so worried that my husband will yell at me because I did that.  I am so affraid everytime the phone rings that I am in deep trouble and I just wait for my husband to come in the office all red in the face.  I can't take any more.  Even though they are the ones that need to pay thier bill.  I am the one in the wrong. 

We also had an employee last summer, who was a big help to us, but on the same hand, he was playing mind games with us.  He was always stealing from us, wheather is was an hour or 2 here and there or if it was actually something he could take home in his lunch box.  Everyweek all summer long he would be at work, but he would take the day off.  He didn't do, not one thing he was ask to do.  My husband would come back at the end of the day and the project he had told our employee to work on was still sitting there.   So, when things started to slow down around Christmas time , he was the first one to go on unemployment.  Then last week, my husband finally decided to let him go for good.  Now, even though that is what we should have done, my husband is worried about him filing a law suit for wrongful termanation against us.  For one, he doesn't have the money to go after us.  But, my husband is still obsessing over it.  He is driving me crazy. 

I don't know how to handle these mood swings.  Somethings like the collections just  have to happen.  Period.  I know that, but I also don't want to fight with him.  Because at the end of the day, I still have to go home with him.  I have thought about packing a bag and just leaving and not going to work one day.  I have thought about going to a big city where no one will ever find me and just live a simple life where no one bothers me.  People have told me, "what good would that do"  I would be out from under this stress.  I have also thought about going to a therapist.  But, my husband needs to go too.  But, he won't.  I keep thinking if i change, then some of that will eventually rub off on him.  But he is also very strong minded and changing his mind is no easy task. 

So, I just don't know what to do.  I love him dearly, but on the other hand, I really hate him too. 

thanks for listening