Messages By: psychwife2

I don't know you very well and have only recently returned to the board myself after having a rough period.  I am, however, concerned that you seem so down and at times a bit confused.  Are you on meds and do you see a doctor?  You may need to check in and make sure that your levels are correct and that you are getting what you need.

I don't say this to judge you.  It's just that some of your posts have worried be a bit.  It is imperative that we find the signals of when we are sinking rather low so that we can do what is necessary to pull ourselves back up again.  And when it goes too far, sometimes you need someone to tell you to do so since you may not be able to recognize it yourself.

Take care of yourself and know that I am here if you want to talk.

Debbie

I am so sorry for all that you have been through as the result of your husband's illness and subsequent suicide.  And I can certainly understand your low opinion of the psychiatric profession as well.  You asked if anyone could share a more positive side of psychiatry and I would love a chance to do so, not to diminish or demean your feelings from your experience, but to show you that there could have been more going on than you were aware of.

First of all, my experience stems from the fact that not only do I suffer from depression, I am married to a psychiatrist and have been for 25 years.  I have been with him from the beginning of his medical training, through all the internships and residencies and further through the fellowships and if I may say so, the practice of psychiatry is far from a perfect science but it is one that is constantly evolving and improving.  You have to understand that in the process of treating mental illness, you don't have as many specific things to guide you as you do in traditional medicine.  And unfortunately, a lot of what helps a psychiatric diagnosis must be information that comes from the patient themselves.  As you well know, that information may or may not be totally truthful and it is often difficult to ascertain whether these patients are even following the prescribed course of treatment.  This I have experienced first hand with my brother.  He lies to his therapist, goes for the meds only and doesn't take them correctly.  But that's a whole other story LOL.  Anyway, as to your frustration surrounding your husband's diagnosis and the information about his medications, I"m afraid that the psychiatrist is only allowed to share with you whatever the patient has allowed, and if he hasn't recieved that permission, he can't even acknowledge that the person is even a patient.  Patient's rights are set in place for a reason, but they very often leave the family uninformed and very frustrated.

But aside from the daily ins and outs of psychiatry, I hope you realize that if your husband was truly determined to take his own life, there was nothing you or anyone else could have possibly done.  And the frightening thing is, his decision to take his life was probably the highest point of his life at the time because he knew that by doing so, he would permanently escape his pain.  Sadly, it leaves the lives of his survivors in shatters and full of doubts as to what could have been done differently.

I hope that you can begin to rebuild your life knowing in your heart that there was probably very little you could have done.  I hope you will continue to post with us and let us know how you are doing.  And if there is ever anything you  need, I hope you know that we will try our best to offer it.

Debbie

I may have been gone for a week or so but have I missed something?  I keep seeing posts with little wingdings and such and although I am far from computer savvy, I have absolutely no idea what they are.  I mean, I see the cute smileys and fabulous pics....but I just don't get the other.  If it is a private thing, then I understand....just don't like being out of the loop. LOL!

Debbie

I never said that wingdings weren't allowed....I don't know if they are or not.  I've just been away and didn't know if there was a particular meaning to them that I missed.  How can they be a threat to me if I don't even know what they stand for or whether or not they are even called wingdings.....just didn't know what else to call them. And as for bullying....I don't think I even had that thought cross my mind...seems to be a bit of a non related issue in my mind.   I also said that if it was something private between others then so be it and I apologized for intruding....I was just asking a simple question and never intended to pick on anyone.   I just wondered what they meant....sorta like asking the  meaning of abbreviations like LOL, ROFL...etc....Sorry if I touched a nerve.  Enquiring minds want to know....that's all....I was merely trying to learn something.  I'm sorry I asked.

I am really confused now.  I hadn't even seen 29's post when I asked about the symbols.  And I would never assume she would post anything negative towards me as well.

If I have opened up something that is a problem, then I once again apologize.

I don't understand why every little thing around here has to be blown so far out of proportion...also never ever suggested that anyone leave the board.

My Zoloft levels are finally where they should be but obviously I remain confused.


Debbie

My son came home this weekend and it was good to see him.  He decided to leave Spunky behind....we all thought it might be too soon for him to re-enter the household....might further confuse him.  But son reports that Spunky continues to seem relaxed and happy.....and very much the contented cat.

Hope all is well with you!

Debbie

I now understand that I was just an innocent bystander, talk about poor timing to ask a question!  LOL.....that played out like a bad movie didn't it? LOL again.

Boy was I a confused poster.....I guess I shouldn't post without looking through past postings but I sometimes get overwhelmed with the amount of posts I have to read to catch up so I usually post first and read later.

Debbie

 and let me be the first to change the subject! LOL...

I hope that everyone continues to have a safe weekend.  I for one am glad to be staying home.  With rising gas prices and all, I am perfectly content to stay home and enjoy my family being together again for a few days.  Sure does give me the lift that I need!

Debbie

One other funny thing to add about Spunky's adventures in college.

Poor thing...he was used to having the run of the house and now he is living in a small, one bedroom apartment.  My son says that everytime he leaves for class, Spunky starts squawking for some reason.  He believes that Spunky wants to know when he can start exploring the rest of the house.  Little does he know, he already has!!!  LOL

Son also reports that Spunky has returned to being a lap kitty and demands to be held more than ever.  It is certainly a great thing for both my son and for Spunky!

Debbie

Thanks for your words about my post to Rosemary.  I know she is in a lot of pain and just wanted to let her know that even though her personal experience with psychiatry was less than satisfying, it may also be attributed to things that were beyond her control.

I guess I feel compelled to share this information not only because of hubby's connection to it but also I have seen the same scenario anger and frustrate my mother in regards to my brother's situation.  She is unable to see that many of her frustrations have to do with my brother's inability to accept any responsibilty for his situation and she merely relies on the lies that he continues to tell her.  She doesn't seem to understand that until he is honest with himself and others that he will continue to remain in a constant state of upheaval.

Thanks again for your comments.  I guess sleeping next to someone for so long can "rub off" on you. LOL

Debbie