Messages By: psychwife2

 If your son is determined to commit suicide, nothing you say will change his mind.  But you can have him committed by calling the police and telling them that he is a threat to himself or to others...they can hold him only 72 hours however.

I feel for you, but if you son does in fact do what he says he is going to do, you had nothing to do with it and you couldn't change his mind if you tried.  Then again, he could be threatening as a device to get your attention, which many people do...This is merely my opinion and i am merely sharing with you what we did with my brother in the same situation....have him committed...his threats to kill himself if the police come may only be threats...but rest assured, if he wants to do it, he will do it regardless of whether or not you call the police.

Bless you and keep in touch.

We've all been new at this at one time or another.  Don't be shy...we're here and you're most welcome to join us...

My son attends a fine arts magnet school in our town and last year they were named the Grammy Foundation's Signature School.  You cannot begin to imagine the opportunities that this honor gave the students of this school  Not only did they receive a $25,000 cash award, but twelve students from the school, my son included, were chosen to perform as an ensemble during the festivities of Grammy week!   Not only did they have the opportunity to perform in front of some of the industries' finest members, they also had the thrill of actually attending the Grammy ceremony itself.  And all of this was totally paid for by the Grammy Foundation.

In a time where many find that their arts programs are being slashed in order to accomodate athletic pursuits and other non-artistic endeavors, it is nice to know that the Grammy Foundation is actively working to keep arts in our schools!  Participation in the arts keeps our kids grounded...with a dedication and a discipline that many of us adults could only wish for.  Keep up the good work!!

and who could blame you?  You're away from your little boy and it always hurts when they have to go away for a while, no matter what the circumstance may be...camp, school trip...or like you...they have to go stay with their "A$$ father", LOL!  But don't be ready to throw in the towel on your life or your marriage quite so soon.  Don't you think that you may be finding fault with your husband because he just happens to be a convenient target while you are mourning your son being away?  When you get home from work, hy don't you skip the beer and the sofa and perhaps go for a walk with your husband and try to spend some quality time together.  You're a newlywed and we all know that you never truly know someone until you have to live with them....they can be a bit annoying but you adjust and so do they.

Have you considered couples' counseling...after all, you are trying to blend a family with your husband, your son and the A$$...it's going to be hard but sometimes you've got to work a little harder to make it work.

Hope I didn't offend you...this is just my opinion but I wish the best for you!  Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing?  At least you can come here to vent instead of getting mad at your hubby, LOL!

I didn't mean to confuse the issue with my comment about the counseling....I'm not talking about going through counseling with the ex...just you and your husband.  The ex is just a factor that you might have to discuss in counseling as to how his presence in your life makes things difficult for you.

If you are truly having trouble leaving the house, or if you are sleeping to avoid your life, you may be experiencing some true depression.  I would at least suggest that you see a psychiatrist for a consultation...if they feel you are truly depressed, a little time on an anti-depressant might help you at least get out of your funk and help you to deal with your troubles.  And if they don't believe that you meet the criteria for depression, you could possibly be going through a grief process that you will need some help to work through.  Depending on your mental health benefits, you could either consider seeing the psychiatrist or a psychologist for therapy....talking to someone who validates your feelings, who helps you work through your grief really helps.  I did this when I was facing my father's impending death from cancer.  I thought I was coping well with Daddy's illness...after all, I drove 100 miles to my parents home a few days a week so that I could give my mother some relief.  I felt that I was dealing with things perfectly but on the days I didn't go to visit them, I found that I didn't want to get off of the sofa....I didn't want to take care of my family...I acted out in anger at those around me...not much different from what you are going through now.

I started going to weekly therapy sessions with a psychologist and I can't begin to tell you how empowering it was....I worked through my grief and by the time my father finally died, I was able to cope much better than I would have before.  The things that I discovered about myself through therapy extended beyond my grief situation...the tools that I learned have helped me in many other crisis since then.

Sorry to go on so long about my own situation, but I thought it might help to know that help is out there...that it DOES get better...but you might have to make the initial move towards your recovery.

Best of luck to you!

People have different approaches in their relationship with God or whatever their higher power of choice happens to be.  I don't believe this board was intended to be the backdrop for theological sniping between it's members nor do I think we should sit in judgement of someone who may not believe as we do.  Live and let live and if what you do works for you, but please, don't be critical if someone else can't feel the same way.  We're all in this together and a devisive front would limit the feeling of support that we come here to receive.

I'm not judging...just asking that we don't use phrases that may hurt someone else.

I'm glad that you have found solace in your God and I think that you have every right to believe as you do.  But I was only saying that this isn't the forum for which one should push their beliefs on another.  This woman was asking for help and she didn't slam anyone...just merely said that your way wasn't necessarily goling to be a way that she could approach things.  This is a board dedicated to lending support to those who are depressed and if you state that we are all going to face eternal hell fire and damnation because we don't necessarily believe as you do, you are not doing anyone any good.  You see, my God isn't a judgemental God and I don't believe that he wants me to be that way either.

Come on...this isn't about religion or beliefs or conversion...it's about support.

 Please forgive my momentary lapse of judgement that took my attention away from the subject at hand.  I was merely trying to avoid a further confrontation based on religion and I never intended to be involved in a battle of words.  I'm afraid that I succumbed to the urge to defend myself and my post by responding to what I percieved as a negative post directed towards me.  But I have to go on record as saying one thing:  I do not judge others nor can I tolerate it when I feel someone is getting attacked in a similar fashion.  But....this has gone far enough and I for one will no longer respond to any discussion in that area...

You know what they say, you should never discuss religion or politics with friends.

 Please don't let this most recent turn of events turn you away from this board.  And I am sorry if I merely fanned the flames by objecting to what I saw as an attack based on religion and beliefs.  This is a board about depression and  we are supposed to be here to support one another.  I'm going to try and ignore negative posts from now on and concentrate on building friendship and support.  I hope you will return.  We really ARE here for you.

Sorry folks, but I have to respond to this....I know I promised but really!!

Heather,

Just to clarify -  The post of yours that I was responding to ended this way...
"My God is bigger than any situation I will ever go through.  I pity you feel that way."
If pitying someone is your way of trying to help, then excuse me.  Who am I to judge?

And I quote from this last post from you:
"she never said a thing about eternal damnation, though it maybe something you ought to consider, saying that God is not judgemental"
Thanks for for standing in judgement of me and my beliefs.  I don't think I need to say anymore.