Messages By: psychwife2

Quote From: sweets537

all the way home from work i thought about this forum. thought about how my anger and unhappiness has rubbed off on more people. every where i go i cause this. everything i do i cause this. i was never trying to criticize God. He is the only hope that I have to get me through this. But the way it was being thrown at me was to just pawn everything off on him and my life will be okay, and i find that hard to believe. I go to church, i read my bible, i pray, my son knows God. He isn't something that I keep quiet in my household. Yet he can and will only help me through so much. I have to deal with this depression and i have to deal with it today, tonight, tomorrow, and so on or else i can't be here for the great family that I have.

Quote From: sweets537

you are so positive, it gives me hope yet amazes me. out of everything that everyone says you find the positive while i find the negative. Thank you for just being you. I know that sounds funny because i do not know you. but thank you.

Quote From: bcoceans

Thank you so much for replying to me! I didn't think that someone would actually take the time to read what I wrote! It feels so good to have someone tell me they felt the same way! My husband is very supportive, however he gets tired of it all I'm sure! I think it is hard for him to understand what is wrong, when half the time I don't even know what's wrong! It's so frustrating! He asked me last night, "are we gonna be happy again?" I know that if I can get through this I will be happy again, and in turn he'll be happy again. It just seems soooooooo far away.

I am looking forward to my appointment! I have studied psychology for years myself, and know that this isn't healthy. I am hoping that in some time, this will all be in the past!

Quote From: nekocats2

I want to let you all know how much I appreciate the support you have given me. I am still struggling so much I can't put it into words. I am sick and tired of crying and being depressed. Honestly, I am giving much thought to going back on anti-depressants. I went off of them a couple months ago due to it causing my blood pressure to rise and I am just sooooo tired of being on meds. I hate the way I feel with this constant depression. I hate living!!!! I had this type of horrible depression many years ago which resulted in me attempting suicide. I won't go down that dark hole again. I could not do that to my husband or my family. No matter how much I hate myself and my life,I don't have the right to cause them pain. So, I will continue to plug along and deal with the pain. I guess when God says it is time to leave this earth, then it will be time. I just want the pain to stop!

Hey...time to shut up! Again, thank you to all of you for the support you give. I never even came close to getting this growing up.

Quote From: nekocats2

I see my therapist tomorrow. Good timing I must say.....lol.....I am just tired of acting like I am fine and ok. I just don't have the energy anymore to put on the happy face. I just get by...days go by and what totally bites is that there are many days that will go by that I don't even remember. Not good at all. I must say....you did make me smile with your first sentence that you would also be mad at me. (smile)

By the way.....love your user name......

Quote From: sweets537

GREAT FOR YOU! It is so good to hear about people getting better. I am happy for you. Best of luck to you!

Quote From: bclarsen

I am a 43 year old who until recently was very concerned with where my health and sanity were headed.About four or five years ago I started having strange symptoms. I began getting brain fog. This progressed into what I believed was early stages of possibly Alzheimers - I was having a hard time remembering things - especially basic vocabulary retrieval. I would try to speak and for some reason sometimes the words would come out differently than what I thought I was going to say. This was very embarrassing. Also, I began to get anxiety - especially when I needed to interface with others. But, the worst symptom that I began to experience was extreme depression - but only for about three days out of the month.I would wake up one morning and ask myself what is the point of being here - life sucks. I would be very sad and have tremendous melancholy. I would be driving down the street and think "I should just drive into the pole." But, when I would have these thoughts - fortunately- I would rationally talk myself out of doing anything stupid. This went on for awhile until I began to notice that it happened like clockwork about a week before my period. I went to see the OBGYN who put me on Serafem (Prozac) and birth control pills. After a week on the Serafem I realized that I could not possibly take this stuff. It made me forget huge chunks of time. I stayed on the birth control pills which seemed to help a little bit until I started having migraines with Aura. The OBGYN said that at my age with Migraine with Aura I should stop taking the Pill - huge risk of stroke. Having said all of this..... I happened to be reading a magazine and found out about a doctor, Dr. Hotze,who was treating people with my symptoms with bio-identical hormones. When I went to his website I also found out that it was possible that I had hypothyroid also. At the same time, I found Suzanne Somers book "The Sexy Years." She experienced the same symptoms that I had and found relief with bio-identical hormones. I decided to make a call to Dr. Hotze, who coincidentally works in my city. Long story short - Dr. Hotze put me on bio-identical progesterone 14 days a month, a small dose of testosterone, and also some Armor Thyroid because I was low thyroid. OH MY GOSH!!!! I no longer have my depressive episodes. My brain function is back and I also have the energy that I had when I was about ten years younger. Now I am not saying that this is for everyone. I know that there are many reasons for depression. Mine just happened to be hormone deficiency related. If you think that this may be you also, you can search google and start doing some research. I can tell you that this has significantly improved my life.

Quote From: nekocats2

At least the repairman.....former prostitute...his wife didn't leave him for another woman. Now that would really as we can say...bruise his ego. hehehehhe

Maybe next time....just start making sounds of static....I can't hear you...zzzzzzz....I cann.zzzzz....what???.....then......hang up.....(smile)

Quote From: sweets537

these are the things that i wish i could fix. our cable went out about 2 hours ago and i thought..."i know that I paid that bill" so i went back and looked and yes i did pay it, even though I am forgetful and i couldnt even remember what month this was. so i called the cable company and the lady was like "well i dont know why your cable is out" i wanted to reach through the phone and strangle her and i said "well maam that is why you work there, now can you find out why my cable is out"so ten minutes after being on hold she comes back and tells me there is a line down somewhere.

Its nothing major to a normal person, but to me I get stressed over the smallest things. My husband just stared at me like i was losing my mind. I dont think he will ever understand.