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Messages By: popptart

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confused
December 21, 2005, 10:46 pm CST

lack of memory

I don't buy books normally but I couldnt wait to open 'self matters' I am such a fan of Dr. Phil and couldnt wait to find my 'authentic self' so i can see things as clearly as he does. Well I sat down with a journal and was ready to do my homework (knowing their would definatly be some), read frantically, until I reached my first task, remembering, I blocked so many things that we're my, critical moments, that I feel I can't get the work done right for lack of complete details. 

If anyone could send advise I would love to hear it cause I have tried and tried but I cant get past it cause I feel like i'm not getting the work done correctly without exact facts. 

Dawn 

 
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January 4, 2006, 12:03 am CST

cursed?

  There are lots of ways of being cursed, I belive we can curse ourselves and not even know it. We can curse our children, without meaning it. My life has been less then charmed, but about 10 years ago I started to 'belive in carma' sort of like the new show 'My name is Earl' and began to try to live my life as honest and true as I could, nothing has changed nothing in my life has got better, yet I continue to try to live honestly and continue to get dirt kicked in my face. 

   I even tried to re-start my life, I got married, had a baby and thought I was finally going to live happily ever after, far from the truth, I had EXTREAMLY bad post pardom and befor my daughter turned one my husband of only 2 years had heart surgery and has had complications since and been out of work. 

   My real mother left me when I was 5 months old, my father the same, and my aunt who I knew as mom dumped me in 2002. My husband was a healthy sane man when we married, and I cant help but think looking at him now, sick and at home, that I am cursed and have been since the first time I was left . 

 
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January 4, 2006, 12:10 am CST

Thank You

Quote From: ritehere

 Don't worry too much about memories. Sometimes things come up later, when we are thinking of other things, like trying to remember a trivial fact that pops into your mind hours later. If you can't remember much at all for certain age groups, it may indicate that things were going smoothly at that time in your life.
And then, sometimes memories are repressed. Usually you will get an indication of a repressed memory by the emotions that come up. If you experience anxiety or other strong emotion when trying to think of certain age groups, or a partial memory comes up that brings on difficult emotions, you may need some help. Just remember that whatever it is you are denying and covering up, it's in the past and even though the memory is uncomfortable, you are safe now. Be calm, quiet, and patient with yourself. It may take awhile, but it will eventually come.
And don't get too fixated on exact facts either. Your memory of certain events may not mesh with anothers exact memory. What you are doing is bringing up the memory because it caused a strong feeling or reaction in you.

Thank you so much for saying what you said about being safe, I already feel more relaxed, that really hit home. I dont belive I feel safe when I think about major gaps in my life and I trust no one to ask for the facts. 

I belive im going to relax and just let it come to me and know that no matter what happend in my life, its ok now and I do belive it will come to me. 

 
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January 20, 2006, 8:03 pm CST

well put

Quote From: shamrock42

Come on, guys!  Life is not perfect!  Bad things happen to good people!  Everyone has some form of health, family, house, job and car problem and as bad as you think  yours are, I promise you...pick three random people walking through a park and you will find at least one of them has problems bigger than yours.  Life is not perfect, road bumps keep us going, make us stronger and teach us humility.  Wasn't that a Twilight Zone episode when the guy woke up in Heaven, everything was PERFECT and he went insane??  The only curse I believe in is the one you strap to your own back filled with thoughts of "WHY ME??"  You shouldn't do good things only to get good things back...do good things because it's right.  People are too quick to count up the bad things instead of the good things in their life.

you know i really like the way you think, and its those kind of replies that maybe no one wants to hear, but everyone has their own faith, and i do belive, but life is life and it will never be perfect and none of us will ever find the answers, and i truly think God is just watching and cheering us on, as adults no matter what has happend in our lives, what happens to us from here on out is truly up to us. 

 
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upset
January 21, 2006, 8:16 pm CST

its not you

Quote From: marfaz

Why is it when Adults with a learning disability, like Asperger Syndrome, (I have it) get involved with someone who does not have a brain disorder, abuse always seems to happen.  

  

Does having a learning disability cause the person who has a brain disorder to be rotten and therefore desevering of the abuse? 

i can relate to you in many ways but all i really want to tell you is that it can cause the attitude and sometimes push it, and you know what im talking about, but please understand that someone who loves you would understand and work with you on it, no one ever has the right to hit or verbally abuse you even if you think you bring it on yourself.
 
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February 1, 2006, 10:11 pm CST

trapped or sacrifice

I have barly been married three years, dont get me wrong i love my husband, I truly do, but my vision of what our marrage would be, in only months shy of 3 years, has been shattered, I married a man who was 50 years old and I was 31, I wanted stability and a man who would adore me, call it selftish, but this was what i really did want, and he loved dotting on me, no plans for kids, just us, and my other 2 kids, but basically just us 75% of the time 'ALL ME'  

Now i have a 2 year old that gets all my attention that i planed on, not that im a nut and jelous of my daughter or anything, im just saying kids wern't in the cards originally, and now my husband has 'became more involved with his chuch' meanwhile i cant remember the last time we went to dinner, a movie, even whatch a dvd at home together, now all he does is spend great time with our daughter and reads his bible, now these are not bad things? but what about me, where do i fit and am i trapped? or are these sacrifices that you make for someone you love. 

 
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February 2, 2006, 4:38 pm CST

ego

this guy is nothing but an ego maniac, no woman should ever except anything but being the number on the man in her life. I agree with her, I would rather be alone than to not be the only one. thats what marrage is about isnt it.this is a freakin joke this man is just trying to justify what he is doing and become a hero to other men, he himself said he was an alpha male. when me and my friends talk about past relationships, i only have one case of physical abuse, i sent him to jail! no one put their hands on me, and one realtionship of verbal abuse and still to this day suffer from that one, but i never went back and my friends bounce back and forth between men that have no respect for them, i was a dancer in vegas, but never let men treat me the way my friends have, and still do treat them! ive tried eveything to make them feel worthy of a good man, to no avail i wish someone could help me snap them out of the cycle they are in.
 
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sad
February 17, 2006, 5:00 pm CST

Is that my mother?

Oh my gosh!!!!!! that is all i can say about todays episode!!! I swear that Mya and my mother are realated!!!!! That is my mother sitting on that stage I swear! when her daughter told the story about what she had said about her husband, 'are you really going to marry that bastard' and Mya said she did not say that, oh my gosh! that is soooooooo like my mother, some of the most dramatic events in my life have been revolved around somthing she said that to this day she says 'i didnt say that', how in the world does she explain away the drama of the situation she can create by just using the most horrible words, i mean these are words that looking back  now I know for sure changed my life, yet she can just turn to me and say 'I never said that.' and it becomes my problem because then it just floats in my head.  Did it really happen? is she right, did she not say that? how do you go on with your life when the things you belive happend, you have someone who was there saying it didnt? 

 
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surprised
March 3, 2006, 4:53 pm CST

wow

Quote From: dw20052

  Steve is a tortured man who has trouble dealing with his own past.  I have never remarried because I have lost faith in how todays woman grabs control of a relationship and uses the power to poison how things are to be.  Men  are  human first and when you have a loss of a child it more often then not destroys relationships.  I am an angry person today and day after day it gets worse. There is no way to replace what has been lost. Over the past years women have created problems in the home and it is the man who is the villanized. We have no idea how to react when cornered. We were taught to provide and not  argue with  women it's rude.  Now show after show is a rehash of women goin poor me.  When it becomes apparent then hopfully  the women will begin to act like women. Couples have children and when they are out of control it's the mans fault.  Children are with fathers 25% of their youth but it his fault because he is man.  No, this is not true in a larger amount of homes but it is true.  The no father figure or handicapped did not turn me to crime. Yes I have my moments and I thank God for watching over me.  I have all kinds of exscuses for being  abusisve and those reasons had me walk away from my family.   I still live as a single man and hope one day to be reunited with my daughter.  

wow thats about all I can say. I am a woman yet totally can relate to what you are saying and I agree. Just thought you would like to know their are women out there who hear you
 
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upset
March 3, 2006, 5:00 pm CST

BAD ATTITUDE

Quote From: mikes_mom

Did you not watch the show?  The man was sitting there crying!  One of his children died!  I am not exusing his mistreatmeant of the other children but the man needs to be helped, not critizied!

YOU KNOW ITS ATTITUDES LIKE THAT, THAT KEEP THE DIVORCE RATE IN AMERICA UP!  THAT AIN'T RIGHT TO SAY THAT SHE NEEDS TO GET OFF HER BUTT AND KICK HIM OUT. 

THAT COMMENT WAS WHAT CAUGHT MY EYE BUT THEN TO READ THE REST OF IT........OH MY! YOU GOT ANGER ISSUES YOURSELF HONEY. MARRAGE IS NOT SOMETHING TO JUST CHUCK OUT THE WINDOW AND I THINK THE GIRLS OF TOMMOROW SHOULD KNOW THAT AND NOT THAT THEY CAN 'JUST KICK THEM TO THE CURB' A MARRAGE IS WORK  AND THAT MAN NEEDS HIS WIFE AND HIS KIDS HE JUST HAS NEVER BEEN ALLOWED TO ASK FOR HELP LIKE MOST OF THE MEN IN THIS WORLD  

I WOULD BE VERY DISSAPOINTED IF THAT MARRAGE DOESNT MAKE IT I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR AN UPDATE ON THEM  

 

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