This is very difficult to type out, because I've never spoken of it. Kiza, please don't get married yet.
I've been married to my husband for just over 2 years, and his porn thing didn't become apparent to me till about a year ago.. it was just one movie.. now it's several, a rubber dick that I didn't know he had ( i take it that it wasn't for me... ) and sorry for being so graphic, there's also oils and things that I also didn't know about.
I was even thinking of going to Dr.Phil, but my husband would freak out. He's 10 years older than me, and we used to have great sex.. now, I can't remember the last time we actually made love.. for him, I guess it's his porn.. for me.. well.. sadly, I went outside the marriage .. had a great few days of sex that I actually got to participate in.. then came home. Do I feel guilty ? I probably should, but I don't.
Kiza, my husband is 48.. he says the same thing your fiance does.. it's normal.. it'a a guy thing.. he'll stop if you want him to. That's such crap. Please don't put yourself in that situation. I can't measure up to those porn women .. not for all the tea in China.. but I am pretty, and I'm only 38.
Like I said.. I should have gone to Dr. Phil.. I should have taped today's show to show my husband what Dr.Phil said. I tried to tell my husband the very same things Dr.Phil said, but I repeatedly get no where rapidly.
I hope Dr.Phil can help your fiance.. I wish he could help my husband.
Sorry this blubbering took so long, but it actually feels really good to get it out.
Emm, I totally relate to you. Now I don't feel so alone in this. I am 27 and my boyfriend of 10 years is 25. He, in my opinion, is obessed with porn. He looks at it on the internet and has 1000's of images and videos saved. I feel exactly as the young woman on Dr. Phil does. It makes me feel ugly, bad, not wanted, etc. It hurts and he doesn't stop, he says all guys do it, it's normal, blah blah blah.
I am going to leave him cause of it. I am saving up and then I am out of here. I've hurt too long. I am a pretty, smart, kind girl. I don't understand why he does this and I think it's sick, once in awhile I can tolerate but it's all the time and he saves so much of it and I hate it even more that all he seems to save is these huge fake breasted women.
Like you Emm, I went outside the relationship too. And I can say, I don't regret it, it was amazing, I felt wanted, needed, desirable and have fallen in love with this man and him with me, I will be moving in with him once I am financially secure. Ocassionally I do feel guilty but then remind myself of what he's been doing to me and how long I've put up with it. I had only ever been with my boyfriend, I lost my virginity to him. The man I am seeing now is only the second man I've been with.