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Messages By: mrscc2003

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July 26, 2005, 2:57 pm CDT

Husband does more with daughter

I was re-married two years ago and I do enjoy being married to my husband.  He truely is a great guy.  He has a daughter who I love like she was my own.  However, I am feeling very slighted over the time he spends with her.  I do not mind that he spends time with her, its what he does with her.  He does things with her that I would enjoy.  My family recently purchased a beach home and he took her there go drive around, and boat around.  I have not had the opportunity to do that because the home was gutted, so any time down at the beach has been for work purposes so far.  He takes her to sculpture parks, museums, helicopter rides and we barely get out.  One of the things I  fell in love with about him was the wonderful father that he is, I just didnt know that I would not be included in any of the fun stuff.  I tell him how I feel but the fact is that its over and he will not stop doing these things with his daughter, and he wants to spend time alone with her so I am not invited.  It makes me sad and I feel like I never get a "first" with him.  any advice?
 
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June 26, 2006, 1:03 pm CDT

Not sure...

I hear about troubled kids and I wonder if I have one.  Recently, I suspected my 14 year old was using pot.  I confronted him and he said yes he was.  The next week he was over his friends house and they were drinking, again I asked and he said yes he was.  The problem is that he is an only child, his father committed suicide 11 years ago, and he sometimes seems so unhappy.  He does not lie.  He takes his punishment, mopes around the house and is just quiet.  I have enrolled him in basketball camp for a week so he is not sitting home just watching TV.  He hates it, even though he likes basketball.  He claims he is not good enough in any sprots.  He struggles as a student.  He is a very nice person.  I do not like his "best friend" because he seems to struggle with self estem problems and so does my son.  I said to my son that a good friend should bring out the best in you.  I try to talk with my son but he sometimes does not respond.  I have had him in counsling but he just sat there, not contributing and this went on for months.  I want him to be happy.  We try to have family time, respect him but, like I said to him, he has made poor choices lately and I need to be strict again, I just dont like the fact that his attitude is so negative, and we are not a negative family.  I worry about his biological father, his struggle with drugs and alcohol and the suicide that happened because of his demons.  I just dont want my son to follow in this path.  I am scared.  I feel like I have no common ground with my son.  Any suggestions on how to keep my relationship with my son?
 

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