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Messages By: warmjersey

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July 27, 2005, 8:42 pm CDT

Fantasizing

Quote From: smcdaniel

My husband and I love each other very much and have a wonderful relationship.  We have no trouble communicating, no real issues, nothing is wrong.

 

We were talking the other morning in bed before we got up, and my husband said that sometimes when we have sex, he thinks about other women.  No one woman in particular, and it's not all the time, but I was very surprised by this.  I have no problem with him looking at pornography occasionally; I understand that this is just another sexual outlet and it doesn't bother me at all.  But to think about someone else while we are actually having sex? 

 

He says it means nothing and that it's normal; that all guys do this sometimes.  Is that right?

For me, this is normal.

 

I've been reading about the women on these boards indicating that sex should be ONLY about them. ie - "my partner should be focussed only on me".  And I was wondering what their spouses are REALLY thinking during the deed.  And what spouse would admit to thinking of anything else.

 

But when it's my turn, and I'm ready to explode - my mind does wander, for a few moments.  When the intensity subsides, I come back to reality, my wife.  Hopefully we are both content and happy to cuddle.

 

This fantisizing seems to happen primarily in the missionary position,  When she is on top, the focus reamins on her.  Maybe that indicates that the woman needs to be an active participant.

 

 

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