Message Boards

Messages By: gebham

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
July 27, 2005, 12:55 pm CDT

Easy said than done

Hi, My first post on this board. I've been reading through some of the posts on the board and thought i'd write a little note. Im 22, im bisexual though at this stage in my life i would say i'm most interested in dating people on the same sex (women). A lot of people seem to be struggling with a sense of confusion in their messages as to whether they are gay or not and a lot of the replies seem to say 'hey dont worry you are who u r, u shouldnt be ashamed etc' (which is fair enough!). I just wanted to offer a different view, hope noone takes offence. Of course you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are if you do have feelings for the same sex, but its not as easy as that, i know. Ive been out for about 2 years now, and am in a year long relationship with a woman. I still however feel bad for my family, who r 'dealing with' it, and don't always tell everyone that asks. Having feelings for someone of the same sex isnt something u have to deal with straight away. no pun intended. I would say take it slowly. theres no way if ure just coming to terms with feelings that your going to be ready to go to a gayclub, kiss someone and get the membership badge to gayville. Spend some time talking to people about it. Its not easy and even 2/3 years on being out, its still not easy but at the same time its one of the best things i ever did. Don't get yourself down with what it could mean for other people. Your life isnt going to take a dramatic turn all of a sudden if u realise u feel somethng for the same sex. Take your time. Explore your feelings in your head, maybe talk to other people who feel the same. And take as long as you want deciding for yourself how you feel.

 

Anyway....thats my little bit of advice...heh. If anyone wants to contact me please feel free, and if you just want to talk about anything give me a shout.
Good luck with everything.
Lifes short! sexuality really isnt a huge deal!

G x

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
August 26, 2005, 8:41 am CDT

Absolutely.

Quote From: annanut

I'm also 22 and bisexual, with feelings more for the same sex as me. I 'came out' when I was 19 to my family, but I never bothered to think of how they might feel or deal with it. They haven't, so that solves that. It's totally not easy, and yes it's a transition you should make gradually. I also think, though, that being part of a queer community can help you face challenges side by side with other people who face what you do. I just want to say right on for being honest on the message board, comming out, and not being ashamed or questioning whether it's normal for you. Thank you so much!

I agree with you definately, that joining a society does help take the pressures off. I joined in my last year of university (LGBT), it was brilliant in so many ways and not so great in others. Generally though made a load of great mates, some of whom i'm still great mates with now. It really does help to deal with things in simple ways, such as being able to talk to people about finding someone of the same sex 'fit'. Being able to say that without worrying what someones going to think its a hugggge thing to start of with....maybe i just think a lot of women are fit :) hehe. 

  

Plus u never forget your first gay club experience ;)
Anyone care to tell theirs?
G xx 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
September 16, 2005, 9:03 am CDT

Hiya

i think if ure feeling this way then yeh talk to someone definately. It couldnt hurt just to chat to someone who can understand wat your going through. Once you've spoken to someone for some time and talked out all of how your feeling, then its bound to be much clearer in your head what you want. After all, surgery is a big step and couldnt hurt just to chat to someone first. If at the end of talking etc you still feel the same way then its definately upto you what you should do. If you feel that it is the way you will be happy in life then you should, with the support of your friends if not family, go for what you feel is best. At the end of the day, if anatomically you can only be happy as male then you've got to take that chance. Its a long life to waste. Can you see yourself living till 80 as a woman and living a fulfilled life?
 As for your parents, i think only you can answer that. If the support from your parents would help you through what will be a difficult time, then i would suggest trying to talk to them. After all, you are their daughter, and it might take time to get used to, but they would deep down want you to be happy, no matter how they react.  

I'd say dont worry so much about everyone else, you should focus on yourself right now, and make a decision which could be the most important one you ever make. Its your time! :) 

 Sorry, a bit rambly and i dont really know what im talking about, but hey...theres my two pence worth :) hehe. 

G x 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
September 27, 2005, 4:47 am CDT

hey

Hi, just wanted to say again i think its incredibly...dont think brave it the right word....strong maybe better?..i think its incredibly strong of you to want to wear a tux to your prom. I think ure inspiring as a human being to be honest, the fact that you want to be yourself and arent prepared to conform to wat others may want you to do...especially when the others may be your parents.  


 I still find myself conforming a little to wat my parents want from me. Im completely out to them but i still do things so they dont feel uncomfortable. for example; it was there 25t wedding anniversary and i pretended to be 'friends' with my girlfriend so they wouldnt feel uncomfortable around their friends. If i were single i wouldnt have a prob not mentioning my sexuality, its not all of who i am, but the fact that ive been with my partner a yr and a bit, i really felt like i was being disrespectful to her, and to hurt her is beyond the last thing i would ever do.  

Its still a bit difficult around my parents. 

  

Any advice?
G x 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
September 27, 2005, 4:53 am CDT

....

just in case the previous message is unclear, my parents asked me to pretend to be friends with my gf, it wasnt my idea.
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 9, 2005, 6:03 am CDT

Homosexuality

Quote From: toshinshi

  ...Yeah... thats just stupid.
 Do you honestly think we just all woke up one morning and thought "Hmmm. I think I'm going to be gay and hated and shunned by all of society. I feel like having my own parents hate me." Cuz thats what you just said.
First of all, homosexuality has been scientifically proven. Its caused by a malformed gland in the brain. Homosexual activity is even seen in nature. It's a normal phenomenon as old as time. Secondly, as I said before, gays have been around since before Crist. Even King James (the one that wrote a version of the Bible) was gay. Thirdly, think about it. God didnt write the Bible, man did. At the time wars, and sickness was taking so many lives, they couldnt afford not to propogate. If you notice, nothing is ever directly said against lesbians, because you can hold a girl down.
   I believe in God. I believe that an all powerful being created Earth, man, and all the animals (even if it took a few billion years of tries to get it perfect). And I believe he loves us all; and sometimes, maybe just to spice things up, he gives us flaws.
 I know what the Bible says, but forget that for a moment and think like a human, not a Lutheran, or Catholic, or Jew, and think; Why would someone CHOSE to be gay? To be hated and meserable there whole lives. To never be fully accepted by society. To have that stigma and hatred follow them forever. To never truely be happy. To sometimes have to hide your true feelings your entire life. Who would chose that?
 I wake up almost every morning wishing I could just be happy as a girl; but I can't. No matter how hard I try, no matter how depressed and desperate I get. I can't help it. As a little kid, before I even knew what gays were, I knew I was different. Did I chose that? No. I live in North Louisiana, the center of the BibleBelt; where God is everywhere. Why would I chose to be this way? Where everyone stares just because I wear loafers and t-shirts.
   If you can honestly know a gay person, be their friend, and then turn around and tell them their going to Hell, then I truely pitty you more than them.
heya, sorry just wanted to ask by the way if your on msn and if you minded me adding you? :) Upto you. No probs if not.
Gem xx
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 13, 2005, 9:38 am CDT

Homosexuality

Quote From: indnoutlaw

 AMEN!!!  I totally agree with you.  It's not easy and it's one of the most difficult things that any gay person ever has to do in life.  "Ex-gays" were either never gay to begin with or they just went back into hiding.  The pressure to conform is so enormous, even in today's more accepting society.  Why can't people let others live their own lives?  It doesn't make any sense to me.  Are they just so bored with their lives that they have to try and find fault with other people's?  And why does every dicussion about homosexuality always lead into a debate about what the bible says or doesn't say?  In my opinion, if that's the best that homophobics can come up with then they need to get a clue. 

well said. hey if you feel like joining in the debate in the current new forum under 'gay marriage' all feel free. 

Its getting quite heated at the moment. 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 22, 2005, 9:52 am CDT

Homosexuality

just a question to hurtinggurl.....you say its a choice and that we werent born gay and that everyday we make the choice to be gay...if you really believe this, each day do u decide to be straight, and if so, if you have to think about who you are attracted to so much, maybe your gay....being straight shouldnt be a choice for you, it should be something you feel...if its not, id consisder taking a hard look at yourself and why you have to make this choice. 

;) just a thought. 

  

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 22, 2005, 9:56 am CDT

Homosexuality

In response to the courage website: "By developing an interior life of chastity, which is the universal call to all Christians, one can move beyond the confines of the homosexual identity to a more complete one in Christ"...Sorry to disillusion the courage supporters, but my being gay goes deeper than having sex with women......sex of course is fantastic! however....im deeeeeeep down gayer than gay...sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrry! :)  

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 26, 2005, 12:10 pm CDT

Homosexuality

Quote From: denise2u

The thing with this GAY issue now could be eliminated.......if things like sexual preference were kept where it should.....IN THE BEDROOM.  I never told my children or anyone about my sexual desires or actions with my husband.  My Daughter, like Angela feel that it's 2005 and OUT it should be.  Has cause major problems in our family, as there is my 9 yr old granddaughter involved with this.  Had she just kept this relationship with her new GAY gf in prospective, our family would be ok now.  But no.........it has to be jammed down our throats and accepted cause it's 2005.....BIG MISTAKE on her part! 

maybe shes excited about feeling so much for another human being and wanted to share this with her mother? big mistake that was indeed on her part. 

  

You say sexual preference should be kept in the bedroom and im sure your daughter does not want to share her sexual antics with you but shes in a relationship with this woman, shes not just having sex. And until you see the difference between the two i truely feel sorry for your daughter. 

 

First Page | Previous Page | 1 | 2 | Next | Last
Return to Message Board