Messages By: golden1

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quiet
October 7, 2005, 9:21 pm PDT

Been There

Boy, can I relate to Rujon! I started reading at the age of 22 months; as a result, my spelling and grammar were way beyond my age. Being of ethnic descent, my peers called me "proper girl" and  "oreo." (Oh yes, did I mention that I've been a Barry Manilow fan since 1974?) I was pretty much an outcast until I attended high school in another county. There, I was free to be myself--and I've never regretted it. Rujon, stick to your guns. You are who you are--be proud of it!
 
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October 7, 2005, 11:16 pm PDT

Dating in Your 40's?!

Quote From: mebrn5619

  I'm curious to know if anyone else who reads this topic would be interested in seeing new topics that address dating issues of different age groups of people such as 20's 30's 40's etc of under  and over 40.  I know I would. 
     You have my attention. I haven't been on a date since 1983. I wasted five years of my life in a relationship with a guy whose family did not approve of me(he was Caucasian, I'm not). That sort of cured me of the desire to date. I know, I shouldn't judge all men by one bad experience, but the dating scene actually scares me. Whenever I gave a guy my phone number, it has NOT been a pleasant experience. I wonder if there are others out there who have had similar experiences. By the way, I'm--over 40. :-)
 
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October 9, 2005, 2:12 am PDT

Breastfeeding in Public...and Other Issues

     Personally, I have no problem with mothers breastfeeding their babies in public. After all, the benefits are numerous.  However, I do NOT appreciate seeing a woman letting it all hang out just because she thinks she has the right to do so. There are ways to nurse a child in public without offending others--or having to retreat to a bathroom stall. A receiving blanket or adult sweater can sufficiently cover an exposed breast. If anyone is still offended, they need to take a chill pill! 

  

     If a teen can afford an iPod and a portable DVD player, they can buy their OWN condoms. Schools are supposed to be institutions of academic learning, not extensions of family-planning clinics. Have workshops for parents so they'll know how to talk to and with their kids about sex; a healthy dialog between parent and child is the best birth control. 

  

     The parent should be the primary disciplinarian, meaning that it is their responsibility to keep their kids in check. Innocent bystanders should not have to endure bruised extremities, ringing ears and property damage from someone else's children. On the other hand, in the absence of the parent (at a party, in a carpool, on a field trip), the adult in charge must take control of any situation that can make the event unpleasant for others. A child must learn to recognize and respect the authority of adults other than Mom and Dad. To fail to do so can and usually does eventually result in a deterioration of respect for one's parents. Also, if the parent can't be bothered to discipline their kids, businesses do have the right to refuse to serve anyone who allows their children to run amuck.  

  

      

 
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confused
October 9, 2005, 2:19 am PDT

Online Dating

     I see so many ads for on-line dating services--how safe are they? I mean, how do you know you're getting the real article, and not just someone looking for a sucker--or a victim? Parents warn their kids about on-line predators; what protection do single adults have? Sorry, don't mean to sound like a doom-sayer.
 
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upset
October 10, 2005, 11:39 pm PDT

A Stepford Wife?!

     Is that guy for real?! Wash his truck in Daisy Dukes? Greet him at the door in a French maid outfit? All the while criticizing his wife on every aspect of her life? He must REALLY be from Mars! What does Grant really want: a loving, devoted wife, or a walking centerfold? I guess he forgot that a marriage is supposed to be a partnership, not a dictatorship.
 
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October 10, 2005, 11:52 pm PDT

A Man-Servant

     Diana did have some good points in regards to being the best wife one can be. However, I found her views about working mothers to be slightly intolerant. Not all mothers work out of a sense of fulfillment. Sometimes, it's the only way to keep food in the house. If the husband is disabled, it makes life a bit more difficult. I hope Diana is taking this into account; someday, she could easily find herself in that position. 
 
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October 11, 2005, 12:03 am PDT

Single Forever

     Wow! If Joy is that adamant about being single, I hope she doesn't date. She might make the mistake of falling in love. Being single myself, I can understand her views regarding her life; I can't help but disagree with her negativity towards marriage in general. She makes it sounds like identity theft: place the ring on your finger and kiss your individuality goodbye. Puh-leeze! What's wrong with willing to be vulnerable with someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with you, warts and all? A true marriage isn't an emotional black hole, it's a partnership and a support system. Perhaps someday Joy will realize that not all women who marry and attempt to maintain their individuality lack sufficient gray matter.
 
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October 11, 2005, 12:15 am PDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: carbtex

you got my attention to. I am over 40 was married for 20 years to a typical dominant male. One day I said no thank you. Being divorced now for 4 years. I have been dating every third week-end for the past year. Being in the same neighborhood I find similar types of guys. So I moved. What I found usefull is go and join a sport club  or whatever you like and enjoy. That's the way I find myself laughing, enjoying life and meeting people. Dating does not mean you need to sleep with the guy. With HIV and all this bull going around I am not looking for trouble I had enough of that in my pass life... Enjoy your freedom, laugh and make friends, relax ....life is what you want it to be.... Its all a question of choices... 

     Thanks for the advice; now if only I can find some DECENT guys to date..... :-)
 
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sad
October 12, 2005, 12:54 am PDT

Unhealed wounds

     I sure wish the support systems that exist today were around when I was still in the foster care system. Six of the nine years I spent on that merry-go-round were a living hell. In my first foster home, I was sexually assaulted by a babysitter. My foster mother beat me with a strap, demanding that I tell her what happened (the ignorance regarding child molestation was unbelievable). At seven years of age, I was unable to articulate what was happening to me. (Neither Social Services nor the police were ever notified.)  

     In my second foster home, the molestation continued with the head of the household. His wife (as well as the social workers) looked the other way. After all, with four cash cows/domestic servants/decoys, why mess up a good thing?That man could have raped me in front of her; all she would have done was tell me to take a bath and fix dinner. What I would have given to have one concerned adult ask me what's wrong--and set out to make things right.  

 

     My father being awarded custody was the best thing to happen in years. I never told him about what I had endured. He was on parole for second-degree murder at the time; had he found out what was going on, someone else would have ended up dead. My molesters were never brought to justice; hence, there was never any closure. It is only by the grace of God that I haven't taken a wrong path in life; how many others out there haven't been so fortunate? 

 

 

 
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hopeful
October 12, 2005, 9:02 am PDT

Childhood Sexual Abuse

Quote From: lookin4hlp

I get the feeling that you are doing ok now.  What is your life like now?  You have been through alot.  I'm glad you haven't taken a wrong path, too.  You are an inspiration.
     Thanks. I'm OK--not terrific, but OK. God truly watches over drunks, little children and fools like me. I don't know how much of an inspiration I can be to anyone; I just hope that any adult who suspects a child is being abused will be the hero and do something about it. Too many victims fall through the cracks.
 

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