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Messages By: crycrystal

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December 4, 2005, 1:04 pm PST

No More First Wives Club for Dr. Phil

Uuummm, I Think Dr.Phil, needs to leave the first wives club, to his wife. I reckon it's a good way to give her friends, luxury prizes, make-overs, paid for vacations and education, and finances taken care of. I sure hope now, they can all go back and sit around their table and drink their coffee and be peachy , now. I just wonder,,, Could they had possibly gotten , any more ? WOW ! 

I Sure Wish I could be Ever so Lucky ! But, as for myself... I have Plenty of Anger, Depression, Abuse, Divorce, Alcoholism, Drugism and Resentment Towards life, That Anyone could possibly ever muster up, In a life time ! 

 
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December 11, 2005, 2:04 pm PST

I Sigh So Deeply

  I have had , "One of them lives", too. The drinking, drugs, abuse, rape, depression,  

suicidal tendencies and just a resentment towards life itself. 

Found it interesting ,to hear that some people don't wake up hating the world.  

But, at times, I Reckon I have had, such as an illusive moment. 

 It really bothers me, that I didn't become something, in life.  

 I went up to my last year of high school , just to drop out. 

 I had 2 boys, but didn't end up a mother.  Married twice, but didn't end up a wife.  

 I had dreams, but just couldn't seem to wake up. 

 If anything, I ended up being a Rag Doll. 

 Anyways, I just always sigh, ever sooo deeply....Is that Normal ? 

 
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December 19, 2005, 8:33 am PST

Deeply Sighing

Quote From: labelfree

Then my friend I suggest so so bad  go and get a check up from the neck up!  Even your picture although it is drawn scared me!  Yes in my family I also have depression,  Anger, divorce,Alcoholism,Drug ism, etc etc etc  I am here to say there is a BOLD BRIGHT LIGHT at the end of the tunnel and it is called THERAPY! 

  

I went back!  Got back on proper medications and started weekly therapy...Is this something maybe you have considered? It really is not about "luxury prizes"  because actuarially you realize the prize when you look in the mirror at those beautiful eyes of yours is looking back at you.....You just have to get to that place though.. 

I Know I've Needed Help, for 20 yrs, now.  

I have, ALWAYS, felt naked and out-of-place, in this Crappy World. and That I Carry a Cancer Cell, within me, Filled with Despair and Un-Happiness. 

 I just have, Always, Seen it sinceless, to run to the local health dept. For, I Believe , I Need More than they can ever Give or Do , for me. (Ya can only expect , so much, when it's free ! ) 

 I Don't Think, Throwing Me on an anti-depressant, (till the right one is found), Would be a very Advisable Thing to do, Anyway. 

So, I will continue to sit in the corner, twiddle my toes and sing everyone else, a happy lil note. 

and to one day, understand the theory, as to why some people just aren't ment to be. 

                                                                                                            Deeply Sighing, 

                                                                                                                    Cry 

 
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December 19, 2005, 6:11 pm PST

My Cryin' Ragdoll Icon

Quote From: labelfree

As Dr. Phil says  "YOU ARE YOUR JOB"  If you have always know you needed help that is great......You are more than half way there girl...... 

  

First and for most that picture is very TELLING  that is probally how you think and feel about yourself on the inside and believe you me like 20 years ago you and me where the same person...Its not going to take YOU 20 years to fix yourself....OKAY!  You can and will benefit from my exeperiences and Im not going to give up on you...I believe in you  Hey look at a few things that are great about you...You can type....you can at least type and put in ICON PICTURES I cant even do that......And please do not even try to explain  my brain gets all swimmy and unless someone is like right there and showing me I get all frunstrated and pissed off.... 

  

Now where are you at and why is your world all crappy REALLY  what kind of screwed up family did you come from?  I can bet me and you came from the same place with the same BS.... 

  

I dont know about the anti dep thing because I AM NOT A DOC but I will share my story with you but be patient with me cause I am withdraing off my Xanax  ok......Ill be your friend NO BS ok  xoxo 

  

Oh please though Think about changing that pic because I donot like scary pictures  Ill tell you about that and putting scarey thing in my mind ok at a later time.....I dont think by the way You are that scaery  I think you are BRAVE and beautiful  xox 

I am, actually, at a good place , in life. For 6 yrs., now. I'm sober & drug free, and found a man that doesn't use me, as a punching bag. But, the un-happiness within me, continues to lingure. And, I have a fear, that, if I Don't find a way , to get somewhat happy,,, He's going to throw me away, again. 

Depression Runs , DEEPLY , in my family.  

As for my ICON picture I have,,,, I drew it and got a tattoo of her.        She will,  Always,  be with me.  

BTW,,, I ordered 3 of Dr. Phil's books , off ebay and they will be here,,,, soon.  :-)    

 
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April 24, 2006, 6:52 am PDT

Depression

I have been depressed, for 20yrs, now.
 
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April 25, 2006, 9:17 am PDT

Depressed

Quote From: yesyoucan

Twenty years is a LONG time. Did anything specific lead to your depression? What have you been up to, round to and about to today? (((HUGs and PRAYERs))) SEA

Depression runs thickly, in my family. Along with alcohol and drugs. 

Now that i'm clean and sober, for 8 yrs now. I don't quite know what to do with myself  

or how to go at life straight. I do pretty much know, that if I don't figure out , "how to get it" 

or "find my authentic self" , I will die young, feeling very old. 

 
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May 6, 2006, 9:18 am PDT

Depression

My Mind is Full of Aggravation and Frustration,

  Lacking Motivation, Causing Indignation, 

  Needing Obliviation, From the Allienation, 

  Feeling Starvation, From No Conversation, 

  No Justification, Fot the Irritaion. 

                                  

                                               Cry Cry Cry 

 
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May 8, 2006, 6:25 am PDT

Depression

Quote From: nekocats2

I am very concerned for you.  Do you have a therapist?  I know that is a personal question, but, many of us do see one and many of us are on or have been on anti-depressants.  I wish you the best. 

  

Hope to hear from you again. 

  

Neko/Vickie 

I don't have a doctor, let alone a therapist. I don't believe running to my local mental health, 

to let them put me on antidepressants, till the right one is found. I once tried prozac and it  

took the suicidal feeling away, but made me just wanna kill other people , then. lol 

I am quite concerned with myself , also.  The world needs more Dr. Phil's. There's just not enough of him to go around. I just wish to win the lottery & then I can pay him to talk to me......... Cry 

 
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June 3, 2006, 3:40 am PDT

Life is Stupid

I'm just waiting , for 2 months, 2 weeks , 1 day , 12 hours & 45 minutes, to finally get here.  

So, my 18 yr old step son, can go on to college. I Personally think it should be illegal,  

for them to live at home,,,, after age 18. 

I Hate Life , anyway,,, so wishing more time away, isn't anything new , for me. 

I'm seeing 4 yrs max, left for me , in this cruddy world. 

I have never fit in, anywhere , in this world, for 20 yrs, so 4 more, won't matter,  too much. 

I look forward to checking out. Till then, I will sit in a corner , twiddle my toes & sing a happy lil note  

and act like life is just peachy, while my stomach turns at the mere thought , of continuing on. 

 
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June 8, 2006, 1:06 pm PDT

Setting Boundaries

Quote From: johnymac

what do you mean you are seeking 4 years max for you?  Are you ill?  I hope you are not serious about how you feel about life.  I guess life is what you make it and if you go around feeling like you don't measure up or you never fit in then I guess you won't.  But who is to determine who fits in anyway and what is to fit into?  I don't agree with a lot of what the world portays and I don't care.  I am not going to push my faith on you, but since I became a Christian I only care about what each day brings me.  I don't have a lot of friends and I like to keep it that way ... lol.  I know life is hard but it is worth living.  Would you like to tell me what is bothering you?  I don't mean to pry, but I hate to see people miserable.  You are worthy.
Actually, I feel fitting in, is being something, in life, and having a goal. Rather it be a dancer, artist, mother, wife, or what have you. But, I have had 2 children and am Not a mother. Married twice and , am Not a wife. Since, age 15, my only goals have been the dishes, clothes, trash, cleanin', cookin', sweepin', moppin', shoppin', vaccumin' & dustin'. I ask myself ,every single day, WHY am I really going on. And, if you really knew how much I hate, for someone to say,,, Life is what ya make of it,,, ya really wouldn't had said that to me. For, I feel, even if life was a cherry pie,,, I was ment to choke on the cherry pit, inside.
 

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