Messages By: napagirl06

Quote From: jellybelly

i gave a child up fo adoption 26years ago.. this was the hardest thing i could ever do. the worst day of my life...... i gave her up so she could have a loving home. i was 16 when i found out i was expecting her i allready had one son that turned 1 the day i found out for sure i was pregant. i had trouble controling my anger. because i was so young .. this is something that i learned with age. so at this age i gave her up.... the people that raised her did a good job i guess.. she commented sucide at the age of 16... they did not let me know about it for 4 years.  then only gave me little info on her .  they did send me 1 picture and wrote me a letter telling me she wanted to find me and meet me when she turns 18. she did not make it  .  all the contacting was done thru the adoption agency. they sent me a paper that read like a funeral reading.  with a drawing of her on the back of the paper....  this was all they sent ...  they did not let me know where she was buried at .  i needed to go to her grave and talk to her .. i know that his isnt something that is easy for me to hear . so thru help of this computer i went to work.. i had to find her.  i had to tell her good buy and tell her i was so sorry.  if i had of not did what i did she might be here..  from what i was told she was helping a friend by talking him out of killing himself then went a did it herself .  the worst part he lived.... i did finialy find her . it was very emontally for me  the 2 nd... hardest thing i had to do .  it did take me years to do this but i did.  and i dont feel any better now that i did.. the only thing that keeps  me going is one day i will see her  .... i hope it is in heaven......  this is the only thing i can cling to to keep me sane......