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Messages By: chelli

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August 8, 2005, 12:30 pm CDT

Divorce

Ok...Iam going to try this again if it wont post then I am on my own again... 

I have been divorced almost 5 yrs, I have a boyfriend of almost 3 yrs. He asked me to marry him. I already postponed the wedding once. Now i wondering if i should again. He is a great man. The problem is that anytime i bring up wedding plans to him or anyone else he will change the subject to something else. It makes me wonder if he really wants to marry or if he is only in it because he knows I have hopes of being remarried. I know that he loves me. I just dont understand the changing the subject thing... Is this a guy thing or maybe so unsure feeling coming out??? 

 
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August 9, 2005, 6:52 am CDT

Divorce

Quote From: aba1969

My ex who I've been with for 4 years (according to him) and I have been separated for more than 4 years now.  During the years of separation we've gone off and on. We have a 7 yrs old child together.  The reason he left was because according to him we always fought and told me I was so insecure with his past girlfriend when he called her to say merry christmas.  He had dated alot. in 2003 was the longest time of getting back together that lasted 3 months. He needed space again (that he is not ready to commit..like marriage) so we again broke up.  After a month he already started seeing a girl who he already know before we got back together.  That was the first time he treated someone like a real girlfriend after me.  They only lasts less than 5 months.  Then he started getting back to me but at the same time he's seeing another girl who he met through a friend.  Then we got back together again and only lasted for 2 weeks or less than that.  I sent him an email telling him that I wanted to move on with my life but he never replied to it.  Then after a month, he started seeing another different girl who I think he already knew the first year of our first separation.  They've been together for 8 months now and I think still growing.  He's been exposing our daughter to this girl already.  I am still upset about this especially that he's been exposing our daughter to her and I know there's nothing I can do about.  I am still hurt that he has moved on with his life.  I don't want to feel this kind of feelings anymore.  I hope that someone here can help me.  I don't want to wonder anymore if he is really very serious with this girl or not.  I also wanted to meet the girl for peace and because he's been exposing our daughter to her but he just ignored my request.  Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I think that we as mothers as a protective thing get caught up in that... 

you will not feel better after you see her face, that only shows you what she looks like on the outside. My son was 9 when my Ex got a new partner, he liked her. Then I met her and because of my yrs of reading people I saw more than him. My ex said I was upset over nothing that she was good to our son. Then one day she got ahold of a person that we were both friends with and set me up for use to talk one on one. Thats when a found out more about her then I really wanted to know. She is one of those poeple who has no morals,she preceeding to flirt with men in front of me,she even allowed one to touch her breast. Of course the next day I told the ex what I had seen and felt. His reply to the whole thing...HE MARRIED HER. We were all at war for a yr or better. She then started to treat my son bad when his dad was not around, which as you might guess just fueled the fire in me. Now things seem better...I dont fight her anymore...my ex is fully aware of how I feel about her and the whole thing...if she hurts him in anyway she will be visited by the police...no games here. I guess the whole story stems on this....educate your child...then trust them and their feels..reassure them that no matter what she tells you you will never be anger with her...and ask questions when she comes home. Healthy questions like did you have fun at daddys....what did you do with daddy this visit...as she tells about going to the park ask if grandma went to.....something simple...she will tell you if something that you should know about...when you ask if she had fun...you will know how the visit went. Some people may disagree with it but i did that...thats how if found out that in his dad's home he was seeing her hit his dad and dad hitting walls. That explained why his started to hit things in his anger. Now his visit dad via grandmas house mostly. 

You will met her someday for me it was too soon. 

Then i have a friend who would rather talk to her ex's new lady than to him. 

Me i think that it is between him and I. I do let her in on conversations now...but i always tell her that in the end it is up to me and his dad...but I am 4 yrs into this 

 
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August 10, 2005, 5:23 am CDT

Help???

Quote From: chelli

Ok...Iam going to try this again if it wont post then I am on my own again... 

I have been divorced almost 5 yrs, I have a boyfriend of almost 3 yrs. He asked me to marry him. I already postponed the wedding once. Now i wondering if i should again. He is a great man. The problem is that anytime i bring up wedding plans to him or anyone else he will change the subject to something else. It makes me wonder if he really wants to marry or if he is only in it because he knows I have hopes of being remarried. I know that he loves me. I just dont understand the changing the subject thing... Is this a guy thing or maybe so unsure feeling coming out??? 

Gee maybe my issue wasnt as big of a deal to anyone else out there, but it was and is a big deal to me. I was married for 9 yrs...guess i needed some advise about not running into something with blinders on...or calming the nerves...just posting my own reply as no one thought it was a big enough issue...thanks for the help... 

Surprised and surprised 

i guess i thought other poeple would have the helping trate that i try to display... 

live well all and heal well 

 
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August 16, 2005, 6:51 am CDT

Communication

i think the whole about being idle for 20 mins and you get boot and have to sign in again is a good thing except one thing.....i just spent my time typing a message  went to preview..... got booted...lost my big mess never got it posted....that blows...need more time if you are typing a message
 

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