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August 8, 2005, 12:30 pm CDT

Teens and Sex

Quote From: flmarijane

Please help me. I am the single mom of a 17 year old girl. The first week of summer a boy down the street came to the house and started talking to her. He told her he was 19, I felt like he was a little too old for her, but she really liked him and all they were doing was talking in the yard at my house or his parents. To make a long story short he isn't 19, he's 23! My 25 year old son found out and went to his parents home and told them to keep this man away from his sister!! My daughter was heart broken, didn't eat or sleep for days. Mad at me, mad at her brother, and mad at the world. He soon disappeared from his parents home and she convinced herself he was living in a box somewhere. This went on for 2 months, Wednesday night on a routine walk she ran into him. He was doing a neighbors yard, he no longer lives with his parents but has moved in with a friend and his mom. There is a reason men aren't suppose to be with young girls, my daughter is so hungry for the attention of the man she won't listen to me anymore. He said things to her a boy can't equal. He made a few attempts to kiss her in the past and always wanted to hug her. The kissing never happened but recently she confided in me she wishes it had.This is a girl I have had no trouble with in the past. At this very moment I don't even know where she is...but I have a good guess. What do I do? This man is not a good influence. Did I add she is a virgin and he isn't. He has no job and gets high....I am so inexperienced in anything like this. Do I just listen to her when she wants to talk but not inter fear? I'm afraid if I stop her, I'll lose her!!!

Age isn't the major problem here (and your daughter is almost an adult anyway--plus some states have different age requirements of boyfriend/girlfriend relationships [in Georgia, that relationship wouldn't be illegal]), but if he's really a deadbeat like you're making him out to be, you got to take responsibility and order him to stay away from your daughter.  You can go to the police and do that becuase your daughter is still a minor.  I had a similar situation happen to my sister who got involved with the wrong type of guy, a deadbeat...she moved in with him and got pregnant, now she's back with us.   If it were me, I'd make sure the deadbeat guy doesn't touch my daughter.
 

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