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Messages By: mistyc

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August 15, 2005, 6:09 am CDT

From another Stepmother

I watched this episode Friday, specifically to see the Stepmother segment.  I should have been surprised but I wasn't, as ususal it seems okay to treat the stepmother like garbage.  

I have a stepdaughter that I honestly love and adore, but we have had, and still have our bad days.  The stepdaughter mentioned on the show was not a toddler, she was 9 years old.  That is old enough to be expected to behave herself while she is at her Dad's house, and treat her stepmother like a human being.   

I do think that this child's mother was a huge part of the problem, she could go a long way in helping her child adjust to a new stepmother but she didn't.  Stepmothers are expected to put up with a lot of "stuff" from the stepchildren and first wives. We are not the enemy and our stepchildren are not always lovable, snuggly, little bundles of joy, so all we can do is give it our best shot and hope for a little understanding. 

 
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September 20, 2005, 9:11 am CDT

Re: Touchy

Your post spoke volumes about the kind of mother you are, and none of it is good.  Covering up abuse by saying "oh he/she is mad because they didn't get their way" is totally different from having a dramatic child. 

My nine year old stepdaughter could win an Oscar for her "acting" abilities.  But my little Drama Queen says things like "I am almost a teenager, why can't I wear red lipstick".  I need a bra (she weighs 59 lbs), or howling for an hour over every scrape and bruise.   

I hope your children are grown and are finally away from a Mother that is still trying to cover up for abusing her children 

 
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September 21, 2005, 9:33 am CDT

You are So Right!

Quote From: missy10

  

  

I worked with behaviorally challenged kids for twenty years.  Have you had him seen by a specialist?  He sounds like he may have brain damage.  A lot (most) of the kids I cared for had Alcohol related Brain Injury but some of them had problems from early childhood illnesses or strokes.  The fact that he 'had colic" for so long maybe he had headaches or what ever.  These kids have normal intelligence but they cannot quite figure out consequences.  They will do things over and over, or variations of the same scenerio and can't connect the dots. 

  

They have trouble understanding that TV is pretend, that people, animals etc. all hurt.  Most were hyperactive..I didn't ;know until one child taught me that some kids don't sleep.  He could go for days.  Burn out.  If it was just me I would have thought he was out to get me but he had a history. 

  

It starts with social problems but when others reject them they reject back.  They are emotional immature, can't focus, have no impulse control.  They are so confused after a while.  They get distracted, they're hypersensitive, a label rubbing on their skin is excrusiatingly painful but they will burn themselves (badly) and not notice. 

  

I've been retired for awhile but there must be programs etc. to support mothers with high end kids cause they need lots of support, both the child and the mother. 

This child is way more than "high spirited" he needs a medical/psycological evaluation ASAP.  All children test the boudaries their parents set forth, but destroying things, and torturing animals is not normal at all.  You are doing far more damage to your child by acting like it's no big deal than dealing with the problem at hand.
 
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September 22, 2005, 6:04 am CDT

Run Carla Run

Carla needs to run as if the devil were nipping at her heels!  I ended a relationship with a fiancee that I had been with for three years, because I couldn't imagine having his mother in my life forever. 

She always considered me a rival for her sons affection like she was his other girlfriend.  She constantly tattled on me, and I got so sick of hearing "Mama said, and I agree with her".   My finacee was 35 at the time and still lived at home , it didn't strike me as odd at first because with the work he did, he was gone three weeks and home one.  I later learned that he never had any intention of living home ever!   

Ending the relationship was extremely painful, and I greived its loss for a year.  But I did move on and now I am married to wonderful, wonderful man, my Mother in Law has a little trouble minding her own business but that I can deal with 

 
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September 23, 2005, 12:41 pm CDT

I agree with Garndamafuz too

Quote From: lonalea200

 I agree with you grandmafuz !  I too feel that blacks are very racist.  Around our area the only people who even bring up the word racism is blacks. And It is always against them.  I too am not a racist, but I get tired of blacks claiming racism. they do get more coverage because they claim racism so much that people are afraid to respond to the truth. AND that is....we are all equal.  People quit sucking money from the government by claiming racism.  anymore all of the attention is going to other races and not the american people.  The government would rather give money to others so they can come to this country but they forget the people who are natives of the USA.  I am not a racist, I am angry that people still claim racism.      

I am in no way a racist, If I dislike someone I have a definitive reason for my dislike.  But Grandmafuz is right the media and the goverment always rush to the aid of blacks first out of fear of being called a rasist.  It's a big load of garbage that blacks are treated like second class citizens, the black youth of America have a much better chance at getting a free college education than white students, and God forbid they get turned down for a job!  whether they were qualified or not they can cry discrimination.  I beleive that no one is responsible for you for you, so if you make bad life choices you need to sleep in the bed you made. 

Before anyone calls me a rich white person, that has led a life of privelege: When I was a child my family was poor as dirt but I didn't become a high school dropout, a criminal, and I didn't start having children 15 either.  My sweet but uneducated parents worked like dogs to provide us with the basic necessities  In turn this taught me and my siblings to become hard workers as well, not free loaders 

  

 
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September 30, 2005, 11:26 am CDT

Chemical Imbalance

Quote From: kendeegirl

There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance.  There
is no medical test to prove such a thing exists.  This
was made up by the drug companies to push their drugs
and it's working.  Most 14 year olds appear to be
bipolar.  It is normal for  teenagers to act out.
Drugging them is not going to be the answer.  There is
no test for bipolar, and a young hormonal girl at 14
should not be drugged.   Kids fight, thats normal
too.  There are many ways to deal with this with
out medication.  The bottom line is that there have
been many teenagers who have killed themselves because
of these drugs, and you have a right to know that as a
consumer. 

If I may be frank, you are full of baloney!  I suffer from clinical despression and my father has suffered from a chemical imbalance, to the point of being suicidal. 

I have taken medication for my depression for five years and I have tried to wean myself off of it, and everytime I do my condition deteriorates.   

Unless you and Tom Cruise or anyone else has any experience in this area, please keep your opinions to yourself.  People that are ignorant to this subject cause more harm than good.  You probably also think Post partem depression is a myth too right ? 

 
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September 30, 2005, 12:22 pm CDT

Can Someone explain to me

I am a married lady and I don't understand why some women stop having sex after they get married when they were doing it before they got married.  My husbad really "rings my chimes" and he always has.  I consider this just one of the many things we have in common.  We both golf, we both fish, we both read and we both like sex.    To me our great love life is one of the many things that make our marriage work.  We have been together for three years and married for one year and I am still as in love with him now as I was a week after we met. 

 
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October 7, 2005, 8:13 am CDT

Breat feeding and condoms

I am expecting a little girl in two months, I also plan to breastfeed her.  However, I am not going to nurse in public because I personally wouldn't be comfortable exposing myself.  It wouldn't bother me if someone else needed to nurse in public, after all it is perfectly natural. 

I do think that making contraception available at school is a very good idea.  My children are small but if / when the time comes I would much rather they use a condom than become pregnant or contract a STD that might kill them. 

If you think for one second a lack of contraception is going to stop premarital sex you really need to get your head out of the sand.  Teen pregnancy is not something that only happens to poor, uneducated, single parent homes.  It affects every income level, and every family structure.  You would be doing your child a tremendous favor by having an open minded discussion about birth control and not being judgemental.  By the way, I am a married lady, an avid church goer, and a registered voter.  Also my family income is $85,000 and I am college educated. 

 
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October 7, 2005, 8:34 am CDT

From another parent

Quote From: irishmom

I couldn't help but offer my opinions on these controversial questons.  As far as breastfeeding in public, I have to say that I was very nervous when my daughter was born because I didn't  think  I would   feel comofortable breastfeeding in public, but it's different once you have your baby.  I think that there are two extremes when it comes to breastfeeding in public.  Breastfeeding is natural and beautiful, not to mention essential to your child's health and well-being.  However, we do need to hold some standards of modesty in public.  I believe it's perfectly ok to breastfeed in public, as long as you are covered up.  I always kind of cringe when I see the woman who walks into the grocery store with a baby on her breast, baring it all for the world to see.  To me, breastfeeding is something sacred and should be done with some sort of modesty out in public. 

I DO NOT think that schools should be handing out condoms.  That is sending the WRONG message to children and I don't think it's the school's place.  Parents should be teaching their children about sex.  I think when we leave such topics up to a school to teach, there's bound to be chaos.  Our schools have enough trouble teaching our children in reading and writing.  Leave sex education up to the parents.  There are other places that children can get condoms if they so wish to do so.  (such as Planned Parenthood). 

I also do not belive that anyone else has a right to discipline your child if you are there.  If  your child is with another parent and you are not there, they need to be able to discipline your child. However, it would be a good idea to discuss acceptable discipline methods ahead of time.  I think if you are out in public and your child is acting up, it is nobody else's business to step in.  I know there have been many times I have WANTED to step in, but to do so would be rude and really wouldn't solve a thing except to offend the parent, which in turn would probably make things worse for the child!  If you see a parent abusing their child, however, then it MAY be appropriate to say somthing. 
I absolutley agree that it would be better if the parents discussed birth control / abstinence with their children.  However..... you have to enter the discussion with an open mind and not just say "don't have premarital sex or else!!!".  In that instance your children wouldn't tell you if they did decide to engage in sex with someone.  Personally I would rather know because I would buy the condoms myself.  That would be much better than getting pregnant or contracting an STD
 
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October 7, 2005, 8:44 am CDT

I aint gonna whoop ya!

Quote From: msway0603

I am going to be blasted for this. I think that parents of kids whose behavior is extreme in public should be arrested for child neglect. 

  

What is extreme you may ask? 

  

1.   In a store. Tearing things up. Cursing. Screaming. Hitting their parents. 

           Why? 

If this was an adult they would be arrested. 

  

Yes I do have kids. Five and Four. At home, it's no holds barred. In public, you will behave. You are doing your child a disservice by allowing them to behave in a manner that is not appropriate. 

No I do not want to discipline your children, thats your job. How ever you see fit. Time out, whuppins, revoking rewards, what ever.  

  

We should teach our children that there is a time and place for everything and they should be respectful of others. 

  

Even though I do not want to discipline your child I will redirect them.  

  

2.   If your child is kicking my chair I will politely ask them to stop. If this continues I will speak to the parent. 

You sound like a lady after my own heart!!  I hate to see children that are just let do as they please, because they are "expressing themselves".  I also think that parents who raise their children with no discipline what so ever are abusive.  There is a time for "time outs" and then there is a time to pop their fanny.  Parents remember: no one wants a spolied brat around them 
 

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