Sadly PAS is being overused and mostly used against women. I noticed one poster on here stated that a parent should never ever state a lie about the other parent to the child. What is a parent to do when the child witnesses something with their own eyes, and that action is seomthing that makes the other parent bad? Example:
The other parent is extremely domineering and phsyically abusive. The child witnesses several acts of abuse, including the physical abuse. The child then hears the other parent say degrading things about the abuse victim (the mother). The abuse victim (generally the mother) then tells the child that the father (perp) is making bad chocies by victimizing the mother, by assaulting her. The father is confronted by the child about his abuse and the father then claims that the abuse victim is now the perp. What is her crime? PAS.............
A parent should be free to explain to a child if questioned about the other parent's actions. If the other parent IS abusive then the child should know.
In case you are wondering, this is my story and the story of hundred of other moms. Some of thes emoms are mentioned in the suit with the IACHR filed in May 2007. You can view the petition here:
http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/ocean/host.php?folder=133&page=468
These are WOMEN and one adult child whose lives have been destroyed by the PAS allegations. Several of these mothers have not seen their child in years. While there are only 9 moms (3 of whom are anonymous) in this petition, there are hundred more who are too scared to stand up and say, "This is happening to me too." I have managed to retain placement of my child, but my ex is on a vendetta. He constantly degrades me to our child, he lies to our child about events that happened a full decade before our marriage, and worse. He also searches and makes up events in order to attempt to reverse custody on a daily basis. If I was more courageous, I would contact Dr. Phil myself to let him know what my child and I have been through. While I personally am strong enough to deal with the vendettas and nastiness towards me, it tears my heart apart to see the things my ex perpetrates against our child.
I am facing the loss of our house and my child will have a rather wimpy Christmas as far as material possessions go, but there will be one thing we both will have. That hopefully will be a holiday free from abuse and the hope for a new year which will see changes made so we will finally have protection. And the most important thing:
We both love each other and we both know that he is a lying mean spirited man who is out for nothing but himself. My best friend said it best when she said this:
XXXX, he hates you more than he loves child. How simplistic but how true.
And one last point in closing: I could state that my ex is engaging in PAS, but he is not. He is enagaging in abuse and poor parenting. And not just poor parenting - simply put he is a bad dad. And IMO, letting our child know that her father is not the best role model for a dad is not PAS, it is simply telling the truth.
