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Messages By: summer1

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August 20, 2005, 8:19 am CDT

The Former Wife

 Hi. I am in a wonderful live-in relationship with a man and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. His 18 year old son just left for college in a neighboring state. While we were at the home that my boyfriend's former wife and he shared before their divorce (about 5 years before I came along)  I became very uncomfortable. The former wife was very nice to me but she and my boyfriend (she started the conversation) remininisted about how they raised their son while her boyfriend and I were sitting there. Her boyfriend is divorced and has a child. I've never been married (mid 40s) no children. I finally got up and walked out. Then to top things off, my boyfriend has mentioned to me (as in the last 24 hours, twice now) that I need to deal with my insecurities about his ex because as far as he's concerned, they did nothing wrong. Yes, my feelings got hurt by them reminiscing big time, and that's too bad for her boyfriend and I. The fact that he keeps bringing up that she does know my boyfriend better than I do, well, I have to deal with it. The fact that he told me that she was so understanding about the tear he had in his eye when she saw him and I didn't see it, well to bad for me.  My boyfriend told me that because of all the heck he and his son went through, that he will never get back with her but that I am now expected to spend holidays with her, his son and him and her boyfriend (if her boyfriend is still around since I got the impression that he might dump her.) Any suggestions on how to get through the holidays with the ex now in my life for more than attending weddings, funerals, etc. at the same time as. My boyfriend's son graduated from high school and I pulled that off with grace having to deal with her but both of them are being insensitive to me.  I should add that she has a drinking problem and showed some of her true colors when I wasn't around by telling my boyfriend that she wants more money for their son which she will not be getting. Her child support has run out and my boyfriend will be sending money directly to his son. Otherwise, my life is fantastic. I'm new to all this ex stuff.
 

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