Quote From: sllynn
I am amazed at how many comments have been made so far on a show that has yet to air. How quickly people are to judge......to assume that I never sought out help for my son before this point......to go so far as to call me a monster.
The truth of the matter is that I had no recollection of my own abuse until 6 years ago.....at which time I did cut the ties with my father.......unfortunately the damage had already been done.
As far as reaching out for help.......I exhausted every resource I could find in my area. My son has been seeing counsellors, therapists, and psychiatrists since he was in grade one. We tried group therapy and even had numerous appointments with the principle of the school he was attending at the time.
Turning to the Dr Phil show was simply one more effort on my part to seek out more help.......help that I had been seeking for the past 6 years.
It is sad that the level of understanding is as such.......there are so many agencies out there that help people with addiction, anger management, domestic abuse and so forth.......however when it comes to sexual abuse I have found it more difficult to find the help required......especially for a child. If you look into some of the amazing programs for children like I have, one of the things that they make very clear is that they will help your child so long as he or she hasn't acted out in unacceptable sexual ways......
I recently had an invitation to enroll my son in such a program but after sending in the application, I was told they don't accept a child who has a sexual history such as my sons.
Along with seeking out help, I also have been to the police. I have filled out a written statement as well as a video interview........no action has been taken on the part of the authorities. I continue to feel like I keep hitting a brick wall.....however, that has not stopped my quest for help, healing and justice.
When the shows are aired this week, I hope that people will be able to come away more educated and with more understanding rather than accusations, anger, and finger pointing.
Not one of us can really know exactly what we would do if we were in someone else's shoes until we actually walk in them.
I had a very tumultuous relationship with my family over the years. Suddenly six years ago, my brother was hit by a stray bullet and killed. Everything (the mental and physical abuse) was forgiven because we had lost my brother. I had to go 5 hours from home everytime for court to help my parents and support them.
I had never stayed overnight at their house since moving out 16 years before. Imagine my horror when a year later, my 12 year old tells me what my father has done to her while we were at their house - dealing with court for the murder of my brother. This came up a week before the murder trial was to start.
He blamed my daughter who was 11 years old when it started... for seducing him, I never saw my mother, father, brother or sister again - that was five years ago. They all beat the crap out of my dad and freaked out that night.... but it was time to hide and keep a big secret. And I... went to the police (who failed us miserably).
We healed from this because we never saw them again. I looked at my Dad and said you will never see her again and I was right. If I could have got away with it, I would have killed him. But my love for my husband and children kept me from doing what I most wanted... because he's not worth spending my life in jail for.
By the way, you would never suspect it - my parents are normal middle-class fakers who sit in church every sunday. Believe me that's where the danger is.... right in the family.
Today my daughter is 17 and strong and a community leader - because I believed her... and she never had to see the predator again. I am heavily involved in the community as well and have started a youth program for ages 12 - 17 - to give teens a place to be safe and accepted. 35 kids showed up at the first meeting. That's how I healed. And you can too.
