Messages By: jade4953

My 15 year old is in a 15-1 class in Central New York.  She has been punched, scratched, threatened, emotionally and publically abused within the school system and on the internet.  I have guardian reports sent to my online screen name.  Although the schools have NOT helped one bit.  I have helped her by notifying the police, evoked anti-discrimination laws pertaining to persons with disabilities and now, sent the information that I logged and printed on the internet to the FBI.  The last resort will be to hire an attorney to represent her in the school and in her personal life. 

  

I will not rave on about this because I am a fighter for her rights and will not allow her to be victimized without regard to lost work days, the money involved or publically exposing my frustration within the local newspaper.  There is no end to how dedicated I am to this...to stop bullies and provide protection against a bad childhood memory for her lifelong time in this flawed world. 

In a world where so many vacant people dwell and hurt others, the only explanation possible is that your mother is mentally ill.  One must survive, as you did and reconcile to the fact that there is a huge piece of humanity missing in some people.  As a counselor, I have heard the histories of many who were not abandoned physically but abused, mentally and physically under the cloak of secrecy.    

   

My heart aches for all children abused, abandoned and neglected.  Innocence and trust should not end in such a cruel way.   

My 13 year old boy has emotional problems; and we deal with that at a special school provided through our public school system which gives him counseling 2 times a week.  He is a talented musician and artist.  He is 5''6" and weights 186 pounds.   

   

I cannot express to you in words how much abuse he experiences just about everywhere.    

   

I cannot tell him he can't eat.  We try to buy foods that are low-calorie and healthy and eliminate any tempting foods.  He still finds a way to overeat.  

   

We know this is part of his emotional problems; but even counseling, special school, and sports is not curbing this trend.  He has gained 30 lbs in 3 months.  

   

I think the only thing left is prayer.  

   

   

There are deeply rooted psychological problems that make a women feel food is her enemy, see her emaciated body as fat, and essentially deprive themself of nutrition.  The problem is far deeper than appearance.  They can only be saved by intensive therapy and deep love.

My first husband was a cheater early on.  I thought I could forgive him, we were both young; but in the long run and two children later, it was not in my power to forget even though I forgave.  The marriage ended in divorce, only then, two children were damaged by it.  I think that people should split if infidelity is becoming a truth in the marriage. 

 

I have gone on now to a great marriage...they should invent another word to describe the bliss of this union.  Although I will never recover fully from the abuse and mental confusion created by infidelity. 

 

I vote to end all relationships that encounter infidelity...no amount of forgiveness, therapy, or time can heal that betrayal.

The acid test for a good match is that things flow smoothly between the two people in love.

 

If there is one major psychological problem that needs to be answered, solved...then don't marry until the horizon is full of light and happiness.  Any and all of these major issues (doubt, anorexia) need to solved.  In the case of the "trial marriage" ultimatum, I would seek an anulmment immediately. 

 

The best way to survive a relationship crash is to end it. 

 

I do not believe that love cures all.

First intensive psychological examination is necessary!  There should be no familial coercion and all aspects of the physical, emotional and societial aspects explored and best and worst scenerios explored.  

Ihave found a way to divert bullying for both of my teens.  The older teen 16, has been verbally and physically abused in school.  I launched my own personal campaign by repeated calls to guidance counselors, publishing on the "reader's page" of our local newspaper and virtually becoming a public annoyance through the power of words. 

 

 When action was not taken by the principal and guidance department I went directly to the superintendent of schools and school board meetings.

 

The squeaky wheel DOES get the oil.

 

In the case of my 14 year old whose bike was the subject, we armed him with a walky talky.  He called my husband who responded in 2 minutes, found the 16 year old to be present and called 911.  The boy fled but was arrested.  I spent 4 sessions spanning 4 months in Family Court.  The result was a protective order and probation for the offending youth.

 

No problems have ensued since.   

The surgery, the social adaptation certainly requires a professional psychologist to help sort out the issues involved.  This statement is neither a condoning or condemning re-assignment.  the LAST aspect needed is someone of your militant stance to make stringent judgements...expecially on paper.  We don't live in a bubble.

I totally agree with you.  It is wise and necessary.