Messages By: jgarret1

I have been married to the same guy for 14 years. When we have sex it is when he wants it and hardly ever when I want to. When I am in the mood he is always too tired or not in the mood. But he can wake me out of a great sleep at 3:00 o'clock in the morning and we have sex. It doesn't go both ways. He is a "wham bam thank you mam." I more of the " want to cuddle and talk and then have sex type." Nowadays I rather have sex with him when I have ahd something alcoholic to drink, beacuse it relaxes me and helps alleviate the hurt I feel when he wants sex and I do not.

I have a teenager in high school. He used to get good grades in elementary school n up to the 7th grade. In his eighth grade year he went to another school this school he had teachers who did not care about the students learning nor wanted parental invovlement. During the school year we had problems with him lying and stealing. Now he is in the ninth grade, his behaviorhas gotten a little better but he still exhibits the type of behavior he had his eighth grade year. His grades are picking up. He likes his teachers this year. I see a little change in his behavior. I felt that some of the tension of his eighth grade year may have had an influence on his behavior and his outlook on things due to the teachers attitudes towards him, thus leaving him hopeless.  What do you think?

I have gained over 70 pounds after the birth of my daughter who is now 9 years old. I have tried to lose the weight but it has never fallen off. I feel very unattractive. I feel like a fat slob. I don't feel sexy at all. I don't feel my husband thinks I am sexy. When we are intimate, I turn the lights off so he cannot look at me.I feel ashamed of my body. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I don't see how I can be sexually satisfying to my husband. This insecurity is probably ruining our sex life and our marriage. I don't know what to do.

My husband says that I am controlling. He says I like things done my way on my time and no one is allowed to make mistakes. I disagree with him totally. But recently while discussing my son's attitude over with him (my son), he told me he felt like I wanted him to be perfect and that he feels like he cannot mess up (make mistakes) while I am around. I try not to be too demanding, but it is hard. I expect my family to treat me with appreciation, love and respect that I show towards them. I allow for mistakes. But it irritates me when the same mistakes are made over and over again. It's like I didn't tell them anything at all. I want my family to listen to me and value what I try to say to them. I feel that they do not value the same as their father(my husband). This is due to them wanting to be around him more than me. He allows them to be free(do what they want)whereas, I set limits to what they can do. I expect them to do chores (when I say so, not on their time) and my husband allows them to do them whenever they want(which is never) or when he gets tired of me nagging about it. I often tell them if they would help me out more around the house and allow me to unwind by having a day to myself that things would be different. Everybody from the outside think we have the perfect family. If they knew all of the problems we have going on in our home, it would shock them. This is due to the image we give off. We do not do it intentionally. Everyone just assumes we have it together because we are always doing things together such as supporting our son in sports, participating in school functions, etc. I help out everyone who needs help. Everyone does not know the inner turmoil I am having dealing with trying to maintain my family, etc.. I don't know if this is a stepford family situation. What do you think?

I am a victim of sexual abuse. I was molested by my aunt's boyfriend. My aunt and grandmother were clueless at the times the molestation took place (I guess because they never said anything). His name was Alex. He died some years back.  I was grown when I confronted my aunt about the molestation. She denied it ever happened. She told me about Alex being in prison for a crime he did not commit. I told her it was justice for what he done to me. When I think back on the incidents, the scent of his cologne is very vivid. I can smell it. After the molestation, I begin to rock my head back and forth. My mother did not know what was wrong with me. She just thought I had a nervous condition. I have two children. I know if something like this happens to them it would crush me. No child should ever have to go through  this pain. I could not be responsible for what I would do to anyone who tries to molest my children. I can't bear the thought of being violated myself so I definitely could not bear it if it happened to any of my children. The scars of molestation will always be with me, but I think I have dealt with it the best way I know how. What happened to me has made me more aware of several things that hopefully can help me in raising my children and ensuring that what happened to me does not happen to them.