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May 26, 2006, 5:45 pm PDT
reply to: was it worth it?
Quote From: trinket
I have a question for all you women how are living with your boyfriends... I dont care for how long.
Was it worth it ? Do you find you have an equal partnership ? Pros Cons ? Is/isn't what you thought it would be ?
Well, it is worth it. Even if it doesn't work out, at least I'll know. I would not marry someone I didn't live with first. Also, I would not marry until living on my own. I have done both. I think people who miss out on these experiences don't go into marriage prepared. Sure, you can make the argument that people change after marriage so no one really knows what they're getting, but things like: "does he snore? is he a slob? is he horrible with money?" are questions that can only be answered by living with someone.
Equal partnership? Definitely not. I do 90% of the housework, but I prefer it that way b/c I am a perfectionist when it comes to cleaning and I'd rather do it myself. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't exhausted, but maybe I'd be exhausted either way.
Pros: companionship, excellent conversation on a daily basis, stability, learning more about each other every day, preparing for marriage
Cons: lack of privacy, concern that he is sick of me (i.e.-bored, not attracted to me b/c he sees me too much), disagreements over decorating, not being able to have friends over that he doesn't like
It is what I thought it would be? Well, nothing ever is. A lot of women go into living with a man with an unrealistic notion that they can mold or change him. Too many women think this way and it is ridiculous. I think this belief is the root of many fights between co-habitating couples. Living together is a great way to help you decide if the situation is something you want to sign up for for the rest of your life.
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