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Messages By: tigrluvr68
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August 26, 2005, 3:12 pm PDT
 I have been there and done that. The 2nd wife whose husband had 2 affairs in 9 yrs!!! also the first wife who wanted dr phil to tell her to get out?????? omg!!! i will tell her! GET OUT!! I just recently got out of a marriage of almost 9 yrs!! will be 9 yrs on sept 10! my husband and i seperated in 2002 when he came home from work and told me one night, i love you but i am not IN LOVE with you. i had a strange feeling he was seeing someoen else, but everyone kept saying to me, he would never do that to you!! well he started going thru what i call a midlife crisis and he bought a motorcycle, started losing weight, liked the way girls looked at him. he went from an over night shift job to a day shift job, and i quit my day job with the postal service, which i liked doing to stay home and take care of our children. he befriended a woman at his work who he says was going thru what he went thru with hsi first divorce! anyway, things went on and he spent more time away from home and more time wiht his friends and at work. i always told him, if you cheat on me or abuse me or your children i am gone. well when he told me he wasnt in love with me, that was it, i left. packed up my girls and moved back home. we were seperated for a year and 1/2/. i went into a homeless shelter for this time and finally was bettering myself. i had already had him served divorce papers, but he couldnt be served cause no one knew where he worked.everytime i moved i wrote to him at his mothers mailing address so he would know where i was with the girls. i always told him i would never take his girls away. well!! christmas 2003 out of the blue he calls me and says he is on his way down at that very moment with christmas presents for the kids and we needed to talk. anyway, he told me he still loved us and wanted to work it out and of course i took him back, i always loved him and he knew i would take him back. anyway, he moved back, we went to counselling, the girls were exstatic daddy was back, everything was great. we found a rental a mile from the beach and we were happy.our counselling was going great also. his friends at work invited him otu a few times to go to drinks and play pool. he always said no cause he thought i would be mad. i always told him as long as he told me where he was and when he would be home, and called to say goodnight to the girls i wouldnt be mad. anway, he started going out one night a week, i never got to go out cause i worked nights and he would go out on the nights i had off. and then!!! he asked me to get a weekend off so he could go out of town with his friend for the weekend, i couldnt get the time off, he went anyway which he didnt tell me he had already paid for the tickets!!! he left on a friday ngiht when i got out of work, he said he would be home saturday night, which i knew he wouldnt be home till sunday. i called him all day sunday asking when he would be home, no answer on hsi cell phone conventiently! finally i called a cell number i remembered on hsi cell phone, he called 1/2 hour later yelling at me for calling his friend, told me he wouldnt be home, he wasnt happy, wasnt comfortable at home, wasnt comfortable with me. I had to work in 1/2 hour, so had to scramble for family to watch my daughters!!! he told our 9 yr old daughter he would be home the next morning to get his uniform for work and to see them. the last straw was when she got up the next a.m and sat on our bed and waited for him to come home till the bus showed up for her to go to work and he never showed, she cried the whole time till the bus came. i went home, packed his clothes up and took him to his work and told him if he was soo happy with his friends at work and his friends would let him stay there while he was supposedly out for the weekend, he could just move in with them!! he had to babysit the girls while i worked and hasnt seen the kids since june 3rd!! no calls no nothing. i would love to talk to that woman on the show that wanted dr phils advice and for him to tell her that there was no hope! i had soo much hope for my marriage, but after hurting me 3 times and lying to my daughters and the looks on their faces that a.m just got me strong enough to finalty tell him it was over. and we are going to court in oct. 2005!!! any time i can talk to someone about what they shoudl do if their husband has cheated i would love to!!! |
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