Messages By: tmusic

I can relate here. I just found out my husband was having an affair. Everyone talks about Todd stalking his wife but let me tell you when you first suspect an affair going on you do alot of things you never thought you would. And she admits this is the second affair. Not sure I believe it's onlly the second though. When you suspect something going on and they can't admit it, it just makes you go crazy. I made sure I had all the details before facing my husband. Oh yes he denied it to the fullest until I knew dates and times. But now it makes me wonder where there any others. I can't concentrate on anything any more. I am always looking for the signs that he is seeing her again. I loose my temper over the slightest things. We can be watching a show and just one word and it all comes back. We are trying to repair the damage it has done to our marriage. I know we had problems but no way am I to blame for him having an affair. I sure didn't go outside the marriage for comfort no matter what our problems. And maybe just maybe she has turned Todd into the person he is because of these affairs. It would be alot easier if we could just walk away but when you love someone so much. I know it is so hard on me. I tell myself to walk away and end it now but my heart says no that maybe he does mean that promise he gave that it will never happen again. But then how do I get rid of all the anger and mistrust? How do I stop myself from going through all his things and seeing if he's hiding something? Sorry Todd but I can tell by the way she is acting that she is not ready to end the affair and you are better off walking. Hope you have the guts that I don't. Best of luck.

Dr Phil it was really hard watching this show. Took me back a few years. And at the same time wish I could have talked to you about this show. People just don't realize the damage that can happen out of finding a lost family member. You are just so happy in the moment that you don't think about whats going to happen after everyone calms down and the high is no longer there. If you are going to find someone I suggest going to some type of counseling at the same time. There is just no way you stay on that cloud forever. And I am speaking from experience. I was raped at 14 and had a son as the result. My mom made me give him up right after birth. I never forgot him and as I got older and had a family it was really all I could think about at times. So I decided to start the search for him. It really was pretty easy as he had started searching for me and had put a few postings up on reunion boards. Needless to say we finally met up and confirmed he was mine. Man we were on such a high. He fit right in with my other children. And he lived close by. We saw each other a lot. He would come and spend the weekends with us. Then reality hit. All of a sudden he was having marriage problems and his wife didn't know why. She was all for him being with us. And then I noticed some changes in him too. Well in the end he was just out to hurt me for giving him up. He got my youngest daughter away from me to the point her and I were no longer talking. And she moved up with him. They are now together and I don't speak to either one of them. So because I wanted to find my son I have now lost a daughter and a son. Please refer these people to some counseling as they go along their journey. It has just tore my life apart.