Messages By: lauriej

My daughter sent me a text message say "you knew didn't you and you didn't even give a hint" I was hopefull that maybe my fiance had surprised her at school for her 17th birthday which was yesterday but even a day late would show that maybe he was coming around but I just set my self up to be disappointed, it was actually because a friend from across the country flew in today with her baby son that my daughter and I adore so much. That part is excited I got to see them for a few minutes at lunch and we will probably visit with them tonight, while my fiance is at an "Adult Only" dinner with his parents, brother and sister in-law, that I have refused to go to since my daughters weren't invited.   

I think I have come to the conclusion that I am depressed. I get very little work done at work, I’m tired most of the time, I don’t do anything at home either. I used to be very good about making appointments for the kids and I but I drag my feet on that now too. I really miss my old self. I have made an appointment with the doctor and waiting for a call back from the psychologist but I need to do something before then, I have so much work to do that I have let pile up. I have things in my IN basket that need attention.  

I don’t take the time to do anything for myself anymore either, I used to like doing crafts, reading  and crocheting but I very seldom do that. I went on a holiday to my aunts this year for 10 days, did nothing but read, crochet and shop. I thought that would help but it hasn’t. I do nothing all day at work except play on the computer checking email etc.  

I don’t know that is causing this depression, I have an idea. In 2000 my mom passed away she was only 53, then that same year I got divorced ( that was a good thing), three weeks after I moved out with my 2 daughters I met someone (that has been a challenge, I have a lot of baggage and 2 teenage daughters) then in 2003 my dad passed away while we where on holidays with him in the Caribbean. That left me real devasted, we were very close and very much alike. I don’t think I every really got a chance to grieve, we have been dealing with his girlfriend at the time, she wasn’t with him long enough to go after the estate so instead she came up with a bogus claim for her personal stuff that she said was in the house but it is stuff that we never saw and may have been in all the stuff that she moved out. 3 years ago my boyfriend moved in with me, we have now been engaged for 2 years. But we always fight and it is usually about my daughters, I am very family orientated including kids but he is not, he doesn’t talk or acknowledge them very much and they don’t like him that much, I think one reason is they are being guarded because of the way he is with them and they don’t want to betray their father. He brought up where the adults and “adult time” I think most of the time it was adult time, but I grew up where the kids are always included and that is how I am I love having kids around.  

Well there is most of my story I think, but I could really use some advise on what to do till I can get to the dr. next Thursday.  

I believe that this poem was written by Sea. Would you mind if I sent this poem to a couple people that I know it would help.Thanks Laurie 

I'm still getting used to this message board so I'm not sure but I think it was you that posted the poem "My Grandmothers Jeans" I was wondering if you would mind if I sent it to a couple of family and friends that would benefit from this poem. Not sure if this is the way to contact you but I'm giving it a try. 

Thanks Laurie