Messages By: lauriej

I have to laugh at that "Guess who licked your cake" Last night I had a bunch of friends over, we had cake and guess who ate part of the cake, Bella my chocolate lab. It did not agree too well with her but she was sure licking her chops. lol

Laurie

Reno's are getting the best of me. I am tired. Life is getting to me, work. Not  a good day. I'm tired of all of it. Tired of being alone, tired of working. Tired of not having anything to look forward to. I hate days like this. I need some downtime, a hot bubble bath, some alone time or alone adult time.

I'm tired of the same old every day. Go to work, go home but no one to go home to except for my kids. No one to share my day with, my life, my dreams, no one to plan the future with.  I meet men but none of them give me that feeling. 8 years later and Andre is still the only one that does. He is still around once in a while but it is not like before, we aren't really together. He said on the weekend that it isn't going to happen but then said that he wants to be together but that was all I could get out of him so I don't know why he feels it won't happen.

I went out with a man last night. I went on a date with him a couple of weeks ago. He is a real nice, interesting guy but it just isn't there. He is a real good man, treats me great. He isn't a pushover but he lets me have my freedom.

This is probably why I am so down today, I get frustrated that it is not Andre that I am with. I want that life back again, there was a time before my dad passed away that we were so happy. So many things that I took for granted, I pushed him away, I let my family control my life. Now they are all happy and I am left alone. I do have my relationship with my daughters, that took me a year to rebuild thanks to my family but it is stronger than ever now.

Well I have to get back to work yippee

Hope everyone is having a good day

Laurie

Sorry I have not had time to get back on the board. The last minute touch ups on the new siding and new flooring. Running around getting material and such.

How are you legs/knees doing?  It sucks that the insurance company is giving you trouble but I think that is what they do and I guess sometimes you can't blame them because of false claims. Stick to your guns, it was their fault, not purposely they just weren't thinking.

Wll the siding is almost done, next week it should be done and the eves trough as well. Just 2 more rooms for the flooring but waiting for the material it is on back order it should be in the week of the 10th. Now I want to paint, it looks so good.

That is a good suggestion to join a group of some sort but I believe in god but not necessarily any religion. I am not good with anything that is organized either, where I have to be somewhere on a certain night every week. I am so busy to I don't know when I would have time. I am kind of a free spirit, like to do what I want when I want or feel like it.  I am just having a hard time because of the reno's and being so busy at work. That causes a problem with dating anyone too, I also really keep my distance. NOt good but it is hard to change. I know a couple of guys that are really interested in me and they are ok, I just need to give them a chance. Then there is the problem of me spending alot of time with my friends and sometimes Andre is there I won't bring someone around at this point, it will be too uncomfortable and I wouldn't hurt Andre like that.

I went to friends for a halloween party friday night, we had fun. We ended up going to the country bar that is a block away. We had a blast we all danced all night long only sitting out for a few songs.  It was so cute watching the guys dance. A friends brother from Hungary speaks very little english but he can dance, Andre still looks so cute and sexy when he gets into the music. We had a blast and us girls are planning on going again next year.

Well I better get busy here. Have to empty the motorhomes so a friend can winterize them. I still have to get the tires switched then I can sell the old motorhome. More on my list of things to do ugh.

Hope you are doing well and getting around better.

Laurie

I missed that show. I haven't really watched tv in a couple of months. This week is going to be another busy week. re drywalling a wall in the laundry room that is moldy and a wall in the family room that has moulding on it a style back from the 70's I guess but I just want a flat wall to put pictures on. Have to get a couple of gates put on so Bella can finally run a bit in the back yard but there is still alot of pieces of stuff that the siding guy left laying around, I will have to keep a close eye on Bella.

Our weather is changing this week, it has been a very nice fall but they are calling for snow this week.

I am about to give up on dating again. I went and met a guy last night, I met him last week. He is a salesman and he is just all over the place, talks alot, swears alot and just seems like a typical salesman. At first I really liked him. He doesn't drink much but last night talking to him I think he takes sleeping pills quite often. He is going through alot of stuff with his ex and young son. He just seem too confrontational for me and something is bothering me about things that he says. He seems to have a short fuse. He likes me alot, he is really into me.

Another guy I was talking to, haven't talked to him for a week or so. Seems to drink alot.

Seriously why is it so hard to find a decent guy.  There is still one other guy that I have gone on a date with and have seen and talk to a couple of times since. I kind of knew him before. He is nice doesn't drink much, so far he is very patient with my free spirit but I'm not sure if that will last.

I am thinking of having christmas dinner at my house this year. I mentioned to my daughter that we would have our group of friends over (which are really like family to me) she said we have other family. I really have no desire to be with my family at all but she keeps on pushing to have family functions. I just thought it may be time that I told her about my feelings. My family hurt me and they interfer in everyones lives. I don't have a desire to have them in my life anymore. I see them and I talk to them but we will never have a relationship like before. I don't need people like that in my life. There that feels good, instead of making excuses and keeping my feelings in I think now I can get it out in the air.

It always feels good to me when I set boundaries, I need to do that with my ex husband still. Because when I do meet someone I am not going to let him interfer or cause trouble.

That is great that you got some things down around the house. I had a productive day yesterday. Motorhomes are done. I took out the pop so it doesn't explode and emptied my scrapbooking stuff out of my truck. Emptied the dishwasher and loaded it.

Well I better get ready for work. This time change is throwing me off, I first woke up at 5am and then just tossed and turned till 5:40 normally I don't get up till 6 ugh. It will be a long day.

Have a good day, look after yourself

Laurie