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Messages By: faith1106

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Worried

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worried
August 30, 2005, 9:58 pm CDT

hurt mom

Not sure if this is the right place for this, but here it goes.  Quick and to the point.  What is a mother to do when her loving, caring son starts to push his mother away.  For no other reason i can see other than his girlfriend has problems with me and is convincing him to turn on me.  I am not overbearing or bothersome, this is so out of character for him.
 
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blank
August 31, 2005, 10:45 am CDT

Getting Along With Your In-Laws

Quote From: despwife15

In what way is your son pushing you away? What is his behavior? 

i should give a little more history on the girl.  She has no family.  They disowned her at 15.  Apparently over religious differences.  She is very motivated and independent.  She refuses to call us by our first names, insists on mr and mrs......  even though ive ask her not to, she says thats just how she was raised, its respect.  I think its disrespectful to not call us what we ask.  When i say hello to them both i have to say hello twice to her just so she will respond.  She has taken my sons last name in emails, wears a ring on left hand that he has not given her.    

His behaviour has changed in small ways, but very noticable.  He seems very evasive with me and even the simplest question seems to make him quite defensive.  He used to call alot just to see what i was doing and how i am.  That has stopped completely.  However in his defense i must say he is still very close with his dad, they always have been.  They do alot of guy stuff together.    

Do i let him go for awhile, treat him like he's treating me.  I can't say anything to him about her becuase im afraid ill loose him forever.  I think she is playing head games with him, she seems quite good at it.  

 
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worried
August 31, 2005, 1:20 pm CDT

Getting Along With Your In-Laws

Quote From: despwife15

That gives a better picture of the situation. I wouldn't read into him not giving you as much attention now that he is in a relationship. I also wouldn't take offense to it. I know that once I married my husband and we had a baby he started communicating less with his mom because he now has more responsibilities and less time to devote to his mom, but he does come to her aid when needed and keeps in contact with her of course. His close relationship with his mom was one of the things that I admired about him. But once I had a baby it was like, alright, we need some boundaries here and you can't let her demand too much of your time because you are already overwhelmed. I would keep from asking him questions or trying to pry, that will just drive him further away. This girlfriend obviously has some personal issues that may be affecting things. Maybe she is jelous of his relationship with you and is demanding all of his attention. I would just give him space and let him figure things out for himself. I don't know your son at all but one thing that would be a concern to me (this is just a guess) are drugs. I would be concerned that maybe she has gotten him into drugs because of the behavior that you are describing. This is just a shot in the dark though because I don't know enough to say for sure. If he has significant changes in his mood (defensive, quick temper) and is distant from family members (out of guilt) then it is one possibility. But these are just my opinions here, I hope it helps.
thank you very much for you opinion, yes i do believe she has definite issues, im just sorry he can't see past the lust. Time will tell, all i can do is hope for the best and be the loving supportive mother he has always known.  There is no chance of drug use, his job requires drug testing. and he has always been very against them.  Thx again i will let things ride and try to stop the constant worrying.
 
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sad
September 6, 2005, 8:05 pm CDT

rare disease-idiopathic syringomyelia

Hope im in the right place, my nephew has recently been diagnosed with a very rare spinal disease, called idiopathic syringomyelia.  We live in Alberta Canada, this condition is very rare and confussing.  Im writting to Dr.Phil because i believe he has the answers and connections to so many things.  This is tearing our family apart.  We have faced many downfalls but never anything this unkown.  I am writting in desperation , any help, facts, please help. 
 

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