Messages By: marymorgan

     In my school district in NC we share our nurse with FOUR schools.  I think she is at our elementary school on tuesday and thursday mornings.  This is quite rediculous I agree.  However it is not an excuse for inadequate healthcare in schools.  The teachers are traing to handle emergencies.  There has to be a certified person to handout medications.  What I mean is that the school staff should trained to handle all emergencies that arise.  I think the major reason for the nurse is to help watch and diagnos abuse.  I may be wrong.
    The issue with the insulin dependent boy, I am so sorry but this is not uncommon at all.  I am friends with a family who has a 5 year old child beginning kindergarten on an insulin pump.  I was floored to find out all the hard work it takes to care for her.  She also has the glucagon kit and the nurse and two classroom teachers are trained on how to use it but the teacher is responsible for inputting all the nutritional information in the pump ( everytime she eats anything or drinks anything they input what and how much then the pumps regulates the insulin she receives) The teacher aslo has to check the childs blood sugar every half hour. 
Could you imagine being that teacher that is a great deal of responsibility? 
Could you imagine being a student in that class what a disruption? 
Could you imagine being that child?  Having to have special treatment all day long. 
    It breaks my heart thinking of this situation.  This is a BIG problem with our school systems.  I am not sure if I have any advice for you.   I am so glad you have a full-time nurse.  I don't think that you can be held responsible for any problems that occur at school unless it is your fault.  ie not sending the insulin or something.  I wish you the best of luck.  I hope that your school system provides you with the proper support. 

Hi Worn out/frustrated in NC.  

   

I was just like your son ADD, hated school, lazy, didn't care about anything really.  I experienced these feelings all through school until 11th grade.  There is hope.  Here is my story.  I always felt like I could never do anything right I felt like there was no need to put forth anyeffort into anything because I was not going to succeed anyway.  I think your son probably feels the same.  All subjects were difficult.  Nothing really made sense.  Medication never helped me although I am not against it.    

  

First you should make the school experience as positive as possible.  Also make yourself very assessible during homework time.  If he knows you are there and willing to help, and that he has your unconditional love wether he fails or succeeds, he may not be so reluctant to make some efforts.  Try sitting at the other end of the table while he does his homework.  He is 10 he should still need plenty of help and should not be afraid to ask.  Don't watch over him give him some space, balance the checkbook or read a book close to him.   

 

Next, be involved in his school, volunteer, join the PTA, or have regular visits with the teachers.  If he sees you actively involved he will model your behavior and enthusiasm about his education.  You may say there is no time I am a single parent I know about not having anytime.  Your child and his education should be on the top of the priority list if there isn't enough time to devote then maybe your schedule can be edited to create time.   

 

Next, is there anything going on at school?  Is he hanging around the wrong crowd?  Maybe his friends are influencing his behavior.  Be on the lokout for drug/alcohol use.  I know he is 10 but you would be surprised.  If those friends are providing him the acceptance he needs then you are losing power.  his classmates may be giving him a hard timeat school.  Kids are cruel these days. 

  

Lastly, get him excited about something.  Are there any sports he could play or afterschool programs he could be involved in to provide acceptance and enthusiasm?  I said I was unmotivated about everything until 11th grade because in 12th grade I was provided with the opportunity to play sports.  I was part of a group, a group that cared about basketball then softball.  The members of that group happened to be highly motivated to succeed in class in college and in basketball.  They had a major influence on me.   

  

A big part of motivation is whether or not that motivtaion is intrinsic or extrinsic.  Exstrinic motivation is getting money for doing chores.  i think that is good you should keep it up and if he hasn't done his chores then he can't go anyway that requires money until he has earned it.  you have to be strong.  Another form of Extrinsic motiation is the constant riding his back about chores and homewoks.  This is a neccessary evil for now.  However it doesn't teach him to want to do his homework, instead I have to do it or my parents are going to punish me.  Intrinsic motivation is essential, long term and the hardest to instill.  Try to promote how he feels when he fails, and how he feels when he succeeds.  The high he gets and being proud of his work will be a big motivator to continue.   

  

I hope I have helped you and you have definitly helped me my daughter started kindergarten and I want to do everything possible to keep her from having the same horrible experience as I did.  Remember "we aren't the only influence in our kids lives, so we had better be the best influence." Dr. Phil.     Keep smiling he will eventually mimic your attitude.   

  

Able to Relate in NC