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Messages By: domoore

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September 3, 2005, 7:41 am CDT

agoraphobia and marriage

 I just wanted to say that I myself am in the same situation.I am an agoraphobic.My husband just left me one week ago.We also have 3 children.He said i was always angry.We were together for 14 1/2 years and he said says he is done with me but i am trying my hardest to get out more and take medication I want to get better for my self.I know its not going to happen over nite but i have lost my world and I want it back.I think i was hitting rock bottom and i needed a wake up call,which i got one but he also left me at the same time.I know the biggest thing he said was he did'nt have freedom to do things with his friends and have a real life he said he was just used to this kind of life and enough was enough.I have only been agoraphobic for 8 yrs now,but i do drive a little bit.I know how i got my illness and it was due to having an allergic reaction to some medications and now i am so petrified to take any kind of meds,but i have to if i want to get mylife and husband back,if there still is a chance.I myself rite now is a basket case I have reached out for help for many years and there is noone to help you for this kind of a illness,and i think that is partly why i hit rock bottom.But i have had enough i want my life back i am still young enough to enjoy my kids and be happy again..I know i have been very depressed and now of course it is even worse for me rite now.well i hope some one reads this and has a idea for me or some kind of medical treatment..
Thank you,
Lisa
 
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September 3, 2005, 8:06 am CDT

I understand and can relate to Monica

 It is me Lisa again,i just read monicas story and i can relate to her alot.I also was very dependent on my husband he was my security blanket for me and i had seperation anxiety from him to.I also wonder about my children getting it also.My children have missed out on so much and its not fair to them at all..and i have it in me to get better,i force myself to go to the grocery store and kmart.I can only go no more than 2 miles from home,and to get that far took alot of workI have also lost my drivers license to do this to and it makes it hard for me to practice driving cause i am afraid acop is going to pull me over.I feel the same way as you do,when i go somewhere i have to know i can get out of there fast before i loose control,i always make sure i know where the exit is no matter where i amI also do tha same thing i shake really bad my heart pounds i feel like passing out,get dizzy and just straight up fear.,but now i am stuck here with no husband,no job and 3 kids.I wish there was doctors in my area but theres not i call evey doctor in the phone book when we get a new phone book every year..i have reached out for help but cannot get any,i think that is why i hit rock bottom,but now i had my wake up call and i want my life back..i know once i am out in the real world again things are gonna be so much better.I know i will be very happy again like i used to be.So monica if you read this please work hard i know its a battle but you do not want to end up like i have (loosing your husband).Monica I would also be happy to talk to you on the phone if you would like.I also wanna say I am happy that Dr. Phil has found a doctor for .I wish i had that chance..I think this is a illness that needs more attention for people like us and more resorces.

 
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September 6, 2005, 1:59 pm CDT

dear mr know nothing

Quote From: drbobbi

I am absolutely disgusted to hear that that lady is on disability and welfare because of this phobia of not being able to go outside. It is absolutely ridiculous. If she was living in another country where other people wouldnt baby her, and support this stupid reason for attention.

I think the rest of these people have phobias because they can. They have nothing better to do. If they were busy with something else, they wouldnt have time to make up these ridiculous phobias.

Ignorance plays a big part in the way people think and you are one of them.This lady has a real condition and should be on disability until she is able to function good.Unless you have had agoraphobia you will never understand it.People like you need to experience it first hand, then  see what you think about disability.
 
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September 17, 2005, 9:28 am CDT

thank you

Quote From: missymamaw

Lisa,  

First of all, I want to encourage you to hang in there. Husbands who take vows" for better or worse  

and in sickness and in health," do not leave their wives, if they love them.. Have you ever taken your husband to therapy with you for one session? This could have helped him to understand it more. he should have a life and be with his friends, even if you can't always go, until you are better.  

My advice is go to a good professional Doctor who can give you therapy and medication. Sometimes it takes a while to get the medication right and adjusted, please be patient and try.. Let your husband go with you for your first visit, if it is not too late with him.Some states have professionals  

that help you and adjust payment as to what you can afford to pay.  

Also, I read someone say that faith will cure this, well you can use that but you can't wish this problem away. This problem affects all kinds of people, usually those very gifted and outgoing even can experience this, so do not think you are the only one. Stress sometimes brings this on, after a  

period of many years of stress due to being left alone, worrying or things you don't even know that can cause it. It can run in families also. So please know there is help out there and God helps those who help themselves, true! So YOU make this effort to start doing things your Dr tells you and take the medication. I am convinced you can do this! Good Luck and God Bless You! You are not alone in this.  

 Missy,
Thank you for responding to my post.I ended up taking the medications.I was not allergic to them thank god.As for my husband,well he is still gone and says he dont want the same life we had(which honestly we couldnt anyhow after this happened) so we are over.But i do love him with all my heart.I didnt like him going out with his friends only because he was like my security.He is now going out with his friends and trying to be happy .Me on the other hand have made more progress than ever since he left,the doc thinks it was because of my husband that i stayed like this,he might be rite.But i have decided my children and I must come first before hubby.Its like that saying if you love something set it free.I have been going further and further each passing day.I have made goals and stuck to them.I mentally already feel better about myself,and i actually have been driving without the meds ,thats even better for me.Everyone has always told me that i am the strongest person they know and a fighter which i think i am.anyhow just wanted to give u an update and to say thank you very much..
Lisa
 

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