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Messages By: ddlane568

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September 7, 2005, 9:33 am CDT

I know the feeling!

Quote From: tutucute

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3+ years of those 3 years we have lived together for roughly 2 1/2. I thought I knew like the back of my hand and that we had no secrets until the past 6 months when I found websites on our computer for sex sites and websites where you can chat with other so called "singles" or involved ppl about getting together possibly for sex or just have cyber sex. I have confronted him once about it and he told me that it was him being bored that he would never cheat on me and that I dont need to worry if I trust him, but that he wasnt going to go on them again since I asked him not too. Well the other day the sites appeared on the computer again and this time there is more than just one. Im not sure what to do. Please someone help me give me some advice. I love him with all my heart and I know he wouldnt physically cheat on me but all the websites bother me I dont see what the problem is. Is he bored with me? Am I not enough? All of these woman on the sites are much skinnier and prettier than I am and I just dont think that I measure up to that. Please someone help!!!

It's like they are drawn to the sites.  I actually hacked into my bf's email and found some very interesting things.  IT's NOT YOU, IT's HIM!  No matter what you say or do, he will never change his habits.  There is something "missing" iside of him.  They will lie straight to your face and never bat an eye.  I had proof mine was messing around with many girls on the Internet.  I found screen stills that show a girl performing various acts on herself and in the background was a copy of an email he was composing to me! HAH! Needless to say, my first thought was NOT that he was not cheating!  He would say, "just ask me if you want to know."  So, I did.  He denied all of it.  Said they were "cyber" friends!  Gee, that's a close friend that will show you her poo-nah-nee on the webcam!  Was he giving her advice on a strange mole growth???  I simply said, "I think I'll get me some of those "cyber" friends myself."  I'm just thankful that I said I would never sell my house until I was married.  Remember, the only person you can truly rely on is YOU!    

  

And I don't care how they rationalize it, it's cheating.  If they are doing something that they feel they have to hide, then it's cheating!   

  

Quit breaking yourself down and break it off.   

 
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September 7, 2005, 9:53 am CDT

Worry about WHY he got so upset

Quote From: heven626

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. I recently moved to a different state to be closer to him, because being 1300 miles apart was just killing us both. We're still a few hours away from each other, but it's so nice to see him more often.  We get along so well... never have any arguments - EVER. I recently did something I know I shouldn't have done... i logged into his e-mail account. I'm not sure what I thought I was going to find... and it's not like I was suspicious about anything. It's been a week now, and I'm still not sure why I did what I did. But I don't hide anything from him, and he doesn't hide anything from me, so I told him I went into his e-mail. He can't forgive me... says he's not mad... just doesn't understand why I did it and doesn't know if he can trust me anymore since I can't trust him. I'm afraid I'm going to lose him over this, and I don't know what to do, say, or think. Please help me :( I love him so much

If it was an accident, then why would you tell him?  Trust me, if you looked at his, he's looked at yours!  You need to quit worrying about losing him and start worrying about WHY he got so mad about it to begin with.  Here's how I look at it:  IF it were my email and he looked at it, I wouldn't care.  BECAUSE I have NOTHING to HIDE....Get it....Why would it bother him so bad if he had nothing to hide?  You never said if you found anything in the email(s)? Did you?  If you didn't, he's probably forwarded them to a web mail account (yahoo, hotmail, etc.) and then deleted them.  People are clever. 

  

My ex was having an affair and what tipped me off more than the change in attitude was the fact that I found out that he a webmail account.  Why would you need a webmail account when the home ISP gave us five to use??   

  

Just some thoughts.  

 

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