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Messages By: missmouse

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September 20, 2005, 7:29 am CDT

Those Mothers Need Parenting classes

I watched Friday's show on Monday (thank goodness for TIVO!) and was shocked by both of those mothers.  The first one was the WORST!  She is a horrible mom, treating her youngest daughter like she is worthless and totally spoiling the oldest one, and making poor Victoria sleep on the floor.  She doesn't deserve to have her kids until she learns how to be good mom to BOTH of her daughters.  I have two biological sons and one step son and I treat all three of my sons equally!   

  

At least the second mom was a little better but still prejucicial against "ugly", "imperfect" people.   

  

And Bravo to Jay for having the guts to be made up to look "ugly" to see how people reacted!  That was a great thing!   

I have friends of all shapes and sizes and all different looks, even a very dear friend with the same skin disorder that little Victoria has, and I don't treat any of the any differently.  My thin friends get the same treatment as my heavy friends (and I do have a friend who is close to 300# and I am 130#).  I truly am of the belief that it's whats on the inside that counts. 

Great job Dr. Phil.  I hope you can get those mothers to see what they are doing is wrong and they take you up on of the offer of help.  

  

  

 
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September 29, 2005, 5:25 pm CDT

Tom needs to stick to acting

  

After seeing Tom Cruise's reaction to the fact the Brooke Shields sought medical attention for her post partum depression I was disgusted!  He has no biologicial children, he obviously has no degree in psychiatry or psychology, all he basis his diatribe on is his so called Scientology "religion".  Until he's suffered from a psychiatric problem he needs to keep his big mouth shut.  My family will be boycotting any future movies he is in.   

My son, who is almost 6 is both ADHD and Bi Polar, and believe me the decision to medicate him was the hardest one I've ever made.  He was seen by his peditrician, two psychologists and two psychiatrists, has had CT scans, EEG's and various other medical tests, and all concur that his suffers from both of these disorders.  Last year he suffered a major meltdown that lasted for over 8 hours (this was prior to being medicated), he threated to hurt himself, his brother, me (he was only 4 at the time), he was not the same child I know and love.   

After that he was given two medications.  Over the past year and a half we have had to adjust his medications several times, trying new things to see what works best for him.  The psychiatrist who treats him was in charge of the pediatric mental health unit at Harvard prior to moving to California and I trust him completely when it comes to my son's health.  He has blood tests constantly to ensure he is not over medicated at any time.   

He has had severe trouble sleeping during manic periods where he swears there are bugs in his bed and he will be awake until 3 a.m. and then up at 6:00... it makes is hard on my whole family. 

More recently during a bad manic phase he tried to cut me with a dinner knife, said he wanted to die because he hated himself and being the way he was.  At that point my husband and I decided to put him in a pediatric mental health facility for one week to see what else could be done  They took him off his meds and the first time we saw him, he was out of control, hitting, screaming, bouncing off the walls, then sad and weepy, all within the course of an hour.  It broke my heart to see my little boy like this.  Slowly his meds were given back and new things tried.   

With the start of a new school year, at a new school we again adjusted his medication and he is back to being the sweet boy that brings joy to all.  He isn't a drugged out kindergartner.  He also receieves behavior therapy twice a month by a Psychologist who works very closely with both his peditrician and Pyschiatrist.   

It's true that some doctors do just prescribe Ritalin or whatever for kids who are overly active, but often it's at the parent's request.  Every child and every case is different.  I really hate that some people judge me and my son for our choices without knowing the history.   I say walk in my shoes and be part of my son's day and then you'll see why he is on medication.   

Tom Cruise needs to apologize to mothers and anyone who suffers from a true psychiatric disorder, at this time he just looks like a big a@@.  He should really research more before he shoots his big mouth off.   

  

 
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chillin'
October 29, 2005, 1:32 pm CDT

This topic is so under reported, Bravo Dr. Phil....

As a mother it frightens me that so many moms are out there addicted to pain pills and driving their children, not only risking their lives, the lives of their children, but the lives of others as well.  It's so wonderful that Dr. Phil (and Oprah has also done this) have helped these women and their families.  7 years ago, my husband was a vicodin addict  After recovering from an addiction to alcohol, he broke his ankle in a baseball game and got hooked on the pain pills.  He would go through 3 or 4 700mg tablets at a time every 4 hours.  After I had major surgery, he started taking my pills without my knowledge, then he was taking the medication I had for migraines... it became a nightmare. I finally did an intervention with his family and told him he was a drug addict, which at first he denied.  For the most part he's been off the pills, with only 2 slip ups.  It's only by the grace of God and the support of his family that he is doing so well.   

I can only imagine how hard it was for Joani and Stephanie to go on national tv and tell their stories.  They are very brave to put a face to a big problem in this country.  I hope they continue to recover and heal their lives.   

Keep up the good work Dr. Phil!   

 
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chillin'
October 29, 2005, 1:38 pm CDT

The dad with the car chip is doing the right thing

My son will soon be 16 and I think that a car chip is a great tool to use!  As Dr. Phil said, 16 year olds don't have the capability to make split second decisions and if a kid is driving the much over the speed limit, they are just an accident waiting to happen.  With cell phones, loud music on the radio and kids trying to look "cool" for their friends, the way the drive, the speeds they travel need to be monitored and if they don't follow the rules, take away the keys!  Driving is not a right, it's an earned privilege!  

  

  

 
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December 12, 2005, 10:54 pm CST

All of you on the show are so brave..

My heart goes out to all of you and my prayers that you all find peace and are helped in the right way.  As a mother with a young child who has a mental disorder, he is bi polar, I am glad Dr. Phil is helping get rid of the stimga attached to any type of mental illness.  Although my son is only 6, he has threathend me with a knife, threathened to hurt himself, been very sad and hated himself.  Finding the right doctors and closely monitoring his medications, adjusting them several times over the past 2 years has been my lifesaver, and his.   

Although I don't know much about schizophrenic behavoir, I know first how cruel people can be who don't understand any type of mental illness.   

Thank you so much for being brave enough to go on national TV and share your stories.  I'm sure you helped many, many viewers. 

  

  

 
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chillin'
March 3, 2006, 12:16 pm CST

Amen to that....

Quote From: jb7ctx

1. I want to be "accepted" in your family. 

  

2. I want to be "respected" in your family. 

  

3. I want to be "loved" by your family. 

  

4. I want to be "included" in your family. 

  

5. I want to get along with you. 

  

6. I want you (mil / fil) to keep your "negative" comments to yourself. 

  

7. I want you to be a "guest" in our home and respect our "boundaries". 

  

8. I want you to accept that your son is a "grown man" and he can make decisions without you. 

  

9. I did not marry your son to take him away from you, I married him to give you a daughter, (me).  

     You may not like me, but your son loves me and you need to "accept" that. 

  

10. I want you to be a part of "our" family. 

  

11. I dont want any "favortism" shown between our children or your other grandchildren. 

  

12. I want you to understand that it is "our" turn to raise "our" children the way "we" see fit. 

  

13. I want you to understand that your "parenting days" ended when "we" got married, BUT your  

       "grand-parenting" days will begin when we have our children. 

  

14. I want you to understand that when you feel that you do not want me to be a part of "your" family, you are only "excluding yourself" from "our" family. 

  

Now tell us what you want, so we can all try to understand each other so we can all be included in each others lives. 

Your post is so right on.  I have been with my hubby for almost 10 years and for the most part get along with IL's, but it took years.  First I wasn't Italian or Catholic...  and I was very independent (I thought that was a good thing) 

But they still show a lot of favoritism towards my SIL's kids and my husband son from his first marriage over our two boys 

FIL is the worst, he tells us where we should buy a home and other things that are NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.   

I have spoken up and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.   

  

  

 
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March 5, 2006, 9:03 am CST

I have a 6 year old Bi Polar son and it's so hard

I was thrilled to see this topic on the show, and knowing Dr. Phil,  he won't sensastionalize the disorder.   I have been living with this my whole life, my older brother was Bi Polar and ultimately ended his life at the young age of 28.  When my son was diagnosed, by a very trained, highly specialized pyschiatrist almost 2 years ago, I had to become my son's best advocate and learn eveyrthing and more about this disorder in younger children.  I wish Dr. Phil would also show younger people living with bipolar and the effects on the entire family.   

With my son, everyday is a rollercoaster. He has called 911 on his oldest brother for changing the TV station, he has told me I was going to burn in hell, threatened to harm himself and others.  During his Manic periods, the stress level in our home increase aobut 100%.  Our medical expesese are through the roof (and that's just was our HMO won't pay)  

 He was admitted to a children's behavioral center last summer (one of the youngest they've seen), but still every day is a challange. He has a very hard time in school.  He sees a psychiatrist, two psychologists and is on meds.  Without the  meds, life in our home is an utter nightmare.   

My son, has co curring disorders, along with Bi Polar he is also ADHD, which makes for even more challages.  I would not wish this problem on anyone and hope that with educating the public and educators (our school still doesn't "GET IT", they still, after 7 months think he is only ADHD with some "behaviour" problems" even though I've printed out documents from the BiPolar Kids web page for the school!).  It's so unfair not only the person who has to live with this disorder but to their families who  have to deal with ignorance about it on a daily basis.  I had the unfortunate experience last spring of having a mother (whom I thought was a good friend ) report me to CPS about my son, she told the case worker it was munchusin sydrome by proxy and I was pursposely  making my son ill.....what a load of crap.  She has to this day, not apologized for what she did, for the hell she put not just my son, but my other two children, my husband and I through.  The case worker saw all my documentation and the records I keep on all my son's doctor appointments, his meds, and all that, and dismissed the case, but the fall out was horrendous. 

I am hoping with Dr. Phil's show some of the stimga wiill be removed from this disorder.   

Thanks for "listening"  

And keep up the good work Dr. Phil!  I was in the audience on Feb. 23 and loved it!   

  

Mommy to a bipolar 6 year old, Victoria 

  

 
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March 5, 2006, 9:06 am CST

Yes....

Quote From: lampliter

      

        Is Bi-Polar hereditary? We can trace it back several generations in the family. 

Bi Polar can be hereditary. 

My 6 year old has it (sadly), but my older brother had it (it went undiagnosed for many year, because he snowed everyone about it) Sadly he ended his life 12 years ago at the age of 18.  On my husbands side his cousin suffers from bi polar disorder  and they are pretty sure his paternal grandmother had it also. 

  

Good luck with your family 

  

Victoria 

 
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March 5, 2006, 9:20 am CST

Sorry you have this disorder...

Quote From: domerdude

Cathy goes from zero to psycho in 15 seconds? I sincerely hope that the Dr. Phil show does not sensationalize this illness on national television. First of all, the term "psycho" is pejorative. To your average viewer that means out-of-control angry and violent. To be responsible, Dr. Phil must explain psychosis in a way that dispels the notion that we are violent and dangerous to others. Otherwise he runs the risk of making people fear us. 

  

This is a serious disorder, but it has been my experience as someone with the classic form, bipolar disorder I, that it manifests itself in altogether different way for many of us. I exhibited a great deal of delusional thinking and behavior when I was manic and sometimes when I was severely depressed. I saw secret meaning in movies, songs, books and other external media. I thought The Today Show was being produced specifically for my benefit and that Katie and Matt were speaking directly to me. I thought a lot of peculiar things. But I was never "psycho." Most of my fantasies were just in my head and were harmless to everyone but me. I think terms like "psycho" and "crazy" are going to upset a lot of bipolar people watching your show if that is what takes place. 

  

Are these people taking medication? Your show needs to touch on the difficulties of bipolar people who take their medication...not just those who don't. What about our prospects for love and acceptance? I don't know, I haven't watched the show yet, so I will reserve the rest of my comments for later, but I just hope so much that the illness will be characterized accurately. The Dr. Phil Show goes out to so many people and just sensationalizing the illness could do more harm then good in the way we are perceived. 

  

I will write more when I've actually watched the show. 

  

  

  

  

  

  

My son who is 6 has it and was diagnosed 2 years ago.  And he can go from perfectly fine to, well I don't like the word "Psycho" either, but exhibiting very disturbing behavior like the switch of  a lightbulb, he has had very delusional behavior and it just breaks my heart.  He is on some "antipsychotic" meds right now that help even out his highs and lows better than the Lithium did, so while the term is not really accurate, at my house some days it seems like it!  Not to make light of this disorder, believe me, I've spent the better part of 19 month reading almost every book I can on childhood bi polar and just bi polar in general, as a mother I have to be my son's voice best advocate.  One his really bad, highly manic days, he can seem to others (who don't understand what bipolar is, or who are just plain ignorant and don't believe it can happen in kids that young) he may seem "psychotic". Hopefully the preview is not actually Dr. Phil speaking, but just part of the video clip..... from the shows I 've watched since the beginning, Dr. Phil doesn't seem one sensationalize or trivialize anyone with a mood disorder or any other type of illness.   

  

I wish you luck on your journey.  If you can offer any advice to this lost mom for dealing with  my son, I would be eteranally gratefuly!  Oh, my son also has co curring ADHD, which makes it even more of a challange... but I digress....  He sees a very good psychiatrist, who prior to moving to this area, headed up the Harvard Children's Mental Health Facilty, he also has a degree in Pharmacology, so I trust him with the medications he recommends, I also have a child psychologist and an educational pyshologist for my son.  (along with about 15 books for me!)   

  

Take care, and we'll "chat" after the show! 

  

Victoria 

 
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March 8, 2006, 9:58 am CST

Thank you for the input....

Quote From: liatsunami

 Your son was diagnosed at 4?  Wow, that is pretty early.  From my understanding it much less commmon infor an onset in young children than in adolescents and young adults.  Given the strong family history though, it does not sound like a strange thing in your case.   I'm curious....are they using the anti-psychotic as a mood stabilizer or was he actually having psychotic episodes?

Also if he was having psychotic episodes did the Dr.s do a test for schizoprenia?  They can be linked disorders.  In the future (especially in the teen years) I would advise you to watch for symptoms of schizoprenia(for example extreme paranoia or butterfly speech), it's always good to be cautious.  

Ask your Dr. if there is any research about diet and the symptoms of bi-polar disorder.  It might also help to monitor his behavior  as indicators of his moods and record them in a journal if you can by day  (make sure to note any changes).  Be sure to discuss your findings with all of his Dr.s and psychologists ,. if there are any changes that seen odd to you let them know right away.

Good Luck

 I actually havne't watched the show yet it's on the TIVO.  But yes, 4 is very young, but from the research I've done along with the help of my son's medical team, it's not so much that's it young it's that it is often misdiagnosed as another disorder. 

  

Currently he takes Risperdal, Trileptal, paxil, and to help him sleep clonidine.  The risperdal is the "antipsychotic" (god I hate that word!)  And for a while last summer he was having a lot of paranoia, and actually being just, well, not 'normal'.  He was threatening to harm himself, burn me or (and this a direct quote from a 5 year old) "hang me on the cross like Jesus til I died". he has pulled knives on me, called 911 on my step son, and just gone into rages over something as trivial (to a non bipolar person) as not being able to tie his shoes.   

His current medical team is awesome, and I am always open to new things and research (taken with a grain of salt on some!) 

Because he is also ADD it's very hard on the family, and of course especially my son. 

I just am hoping he will be able to acheive all his goals and dreams and that being diagnosed won't affect his future for college.   

thanks for your kind words.   

Victoria 

 

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