Messages By: lostgirl

I wrote to Dr Phil about my BPD and  I'm hoping to go to a clinic to get some help,  it's pretty severe and I really need help.   I try to make amends to my God mother for hanging up on her, all she got was a smart ass mouth.  She did not want to see my illness, and try to send her some links about it. She throws religion down my throat. LOL 

 You think God going to cure me of my illness? 

Why didn't he cure my  real blood brother who is mentally retarded then? 

If we all got  cure well DR PHIL would be out of a job  LOL 

This religion they go too far and say I'll lay my hands on you and you will be cured!!! LOL 

My blood family always throwing that up my face, and my ex step mother said if you don't get saved this way you'll burn in hell seriosly LOL Religios abuse!!!! 

Well thats why I don't talk to my sick messed up family. 

I've suffered this illness since I was really young and the rage since I was 5 years old,  when my father left me and my momn and brother. My brother was put into  a state hospital and I lived with grandma. 

I was put into foster care from 9-18 years old and the hell I went through, I'm healing not very fast look 10 years has went by now.  I'm still healing from the past and people say just heal and get over it. For some people it takes longet to heal then others........ 

I'm so sick of most people I don't care what they think or say.... You think Dr Phil could help me? 

I need his help so bad!!! 

I know how you feel this been this way for 35 years and I want make changes......... 

I believe in God and believe he does not judge others if that was the case I would be dead right now! I'm a spitural person not religious, you wont go to hell if you don't go to church. ny real blood family are so caught up with the religious part they forgot the real part of God and what he has done for them. How you dress, or your hair or even makeup my EX stepmother the wicked witch of the west LOL  

She has issues not me....... I'm trying to pull myself out of my stuff....... 

lostgirl 

I've know this girl for a long time and her and my boyfriend are really good friends I resent her  

because now she is coming to him for advice for her relationship that she is in.  she knows that we are in a relationship  but stills comes to him and ask him if they could go out for coffee to discuss her relationship that she is having problems in.  

Even though they were friends before we got into a relationship is it normal for my boyfriend to help her with her problem? 

I've known this one girl for a long time, my boyfriend told me their friends and have been before we gotten together. This girl has told him her problems about her relationship that she is in now, and still is. She knows now he is in a relationship with me , while back she asked him to go out with coffee with him to talk about her relationship she is still having problems in.  

I go to a place in the Illinois area they have been great  good surgeons, I have  tattoos on each of my arms and slowly getting them removed with lasor they told me it would take 4-8 treatments every 3 months it's a slow process. I want my tattoos removed because I want to remove that part of the past out of my life. My friend recommand them to me and I know a lot of people go to this place. I'm also  even getting my spider veins removed had them since I was 16 I had one treatment done and going on the second one. They look great my legs!  It's in Vernon Hills Illinois,  this is the only place I know at this time I trust these people.  I'm 40 years old and  want  to get breast implant and going to have them done too, as you get older they seem to sag. If I got a breast implant they would do it and I have GREAT experience with these people.  I want  microdermabrasion to remove some fine lines on my face and remove the blotches  from my face.  My boyfriend tells me I don't need plastic surgery, if this  makes me feel good about myself thatd what I'm going to do for me.  Thats all the needs to be done for now the breast implants might cost $5000 I'm saving up for that for next year.  

Congrats on your weight lost!  I hired a personal trainer in 2004I lost over 50 pounds and 

dropped from a size 12 to a 4 and 6.  If you need the number please respond....... 

About 22 years ago I went through the same thing,  I had a man put  a gun to my head and told me to get in the back of is van. He said if I didn't do what he asked he would blow my head off, I layed there terrified and thought for sure I was a dead woman.  He got some rags dipped into something and knocked me out.  I woke up and still in his van he gagged me and I was all tied up he knocked me out again with cloriform.  I woke up again tied nude 4 ways to his bed then he untied me, in shock and terrified out of my wits.  I was looking for a plan to survive through this situation,   I told him I was willing to have sex with him.  After that was over with, he knocked me out he said I had to go to sleep then I knew he would kill me. I woke up again I was dumped in a park, I got up and looked around and ran as fast as I can and and banged on these peoples door. She called the police they took me to the hospital, my face being  burned all up and crsipy. My family did not know who I was  and the police wanted this man.  I had flash backs for 6 months,  and the man bit my breast left marks on them. Thays why I say I'm lucky I'm here and not scarred for life.   I feel for this woman who this guy killed her daughter. I know what it is like to live in terror I have all my life, and stayed in abusive relationship  off and on and knew when I was in some of them  would kill me.  

I've been through hell and back most of most of my  life and it has taken years to heal from the past and still trying to recover from the past. I don't trust most people anymore........... 

Because of what has happen to me and all the horror stuff I had to go through..... 

I pray for this woman and her family and friends for their pain they are going through and ask God to comfort her and help through this rough time. 

lostgirl