Messages By: suzzybgood

I know your thoughts/fears, my father was very afraid for my child when I was carrying her (she's bi-racial).  Anyway, the only thing that I said that really comforted him was this:   

Every child is going to be picked on for one reason or another, if it's not because the child is black/white/hispanic or whatever else, then it's going to be because the child is too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too pretty, has glasses, has buck teeth, doesn't have money....there are so many things that kids will pick on other kids for and there is nothing you can do but try and teach your child to not be hateful!   

I haven't had any issues with my daughter or my step children about there race, ususally it's some other reason they are getting picked on, if at all.  

I always avoided message boards that had the word "family" in the title. 

It thought I would come here and read magical stories of perfect families 

who loved and supported each other no matter what.  Then my good friend "guilt" would appear and sit on my chest...(he weighs 475 lbs.) I am learning that families like that don't exist for the most part...I'm sorry for what you have gone through with your family. 

The other day as I sat in my therapists office lamenting the abandonment and betrayal of my family when my brother molested my son years ago, she said that behavior and reaction is the norm.  Family dynamics is a strange phenomenon...she told me of a woman who's soon to be brother-on-law molested her son and her own family closed ranks around him to "protect" him...he hadn't even married their other daughter yet...can you wrap your brain around that one???  Turns out he was pretty handy around the house and did a lot for his future parents-in-law...extracting yourself from that kind of toxicity can be excruciating but who needs it I say...I have bigger fish to fry.  Like speaking out to help make change to protect children in this world of ours.  I am actually grieving the lose of my family...I loved them...I have some good memories....but they don't love me...and they are not the people I thought they would be for me when I needed them.   

I wish you strength and joy in who you are!!!!!