Messages By: planetjliz

I think you did exactly what you should have done. You have to put your foot down early or no one takes you seriously. Also, it doesn't sound like your fiance was stepping in so maybe you set a great example for him in the meantime.  

You were not in the wrong by any means. If you're telling it like it is then you have no reason to feel bad because you were totally civil. Your MIL sounds like a drama queen "stepped on her neck"???? come on now...you hit it on the head when you said "more like I stepped on her toes". 

I think you should ask your husband if he'd do you a big favor. Tell him that you need his support because you are feeling unhappy in your marriage. Ask him if he will attend marriage therapy classes with you. Some men get freaked out by this so make it sound like you need his help and be very gentle about it. He will not go if he feels like he is being accused of something.  

You used to be in love. Love is like a flower. Without water and sunlight it fades and sometimes dies. Alot of flowers CAN be brought back to life. It doesnt sound like you hate your husband. You are just missing that spark. See if he agrees and if he'd like to get it back. 

Have you entertained the possibility that perhaps it is not your husband's job to make you happy? You say he does everything he is supposed to. Perhaps you are unhappy with yourself for some reason. Do you enjoy hobbies and recreational activities? Do you have friends and confidants that you can talk to regularly?  

I may be way off base here but sometimes we project what is wrong inside of us onto other people. I say give a good man a chance. He may be unhappy as well.  

I think it is crazy that people think that, once they get married, life will be peaches and cream. I have always thought of marriage as a somewhat looming, and potentially dangerous thing. If you end up with the wrong person, or make hasty decisions then you will be stuck with those for life. I don't think anyone plans on getting divorced before they even marry - but my parents were miserable in many ways as I was growing up. I always promised myself that, although I respected their staying together, I would NOT end up unhappy and not caring!  

Marriage is harder because you can't just move out or break up at the drop of a hat. You can, but there are legal issues and money issues - all too messy. I look forward to overcoming the mountain of difficulties that awaits my own marriage, if only to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and after the rainstorm when we are both too old to argue any longer. . .