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Messages By: tracyock1

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September 21, 2005, 5:28 pm CDT

Day and night!

I teach first grade special education in a rural area of Missouri.  I have three students with severe behavior problems at school.  Dealing with them all day is exhausting.  Between behavioral outbursts, modifying curriculum and teaching social skills, I am overdone by the time I get home.  I love teaching and I know that I am making a difference, but I feel like the wicked witch of the west at home to my two boys (6 and 8).  By the time we get home from school, do homework, eat supper (fix supper) and start to relax, my temper is short and my patience is thin.  I feel that my students are getting the best of me and my kids are getting the left overs.  It doesn't help that my husband works the night shift.  He has applied for a different shift and has been promised the day shift, but it will take a while for the change to happen.  How can I find ways to have more patience at home?  My boys are not behavior problems - just very active.  Their teachers say that they are very good at school, but at home it is non-stop bickering, arguing and rough-housing.  As a teacher, I want them to be good at school, but as a mother I need them to be good at home.  Can someone help me find a way to balance both parts of my life? 
 
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October 28, 2005, 4:06 pm CDT

Thank you!

Quote From: dchmtx

I just read your message.  I hope you are checking for replies still.  

I feel your exhaustion.  I work at a pediatric hospital where everything is urgent and critical.  I am so stressed by my coworkers and the demands of perfection.  I go home to an ADD/ severe ADHD child that has some learning disabilities.  I have  3 hours to fix dinner, eat, clean up, do homework (he's not able to do homework without constant one on one attention at the 3rd grade level because of ADD).  Then do any chores, run any last minute errands, baths and ready for the next  day.  Some nights we have soccer, PTA, family stuff.  I am so burned out and exhausted.  Oh, I'm a single parent by the way.  TV is out of the question. I catch headline news from the radio.  Luckily I have an hour commute each way and that is my relaxation and down time.  I unwind, leave my stress where it originated (either at home or work).  I think of what I have ahead and organize my thoughts and prioritize what needs to be done.  I look at rush hour traffic as therapeutic.  :)   

Then I've tried to simplify my life.  Do only necessary errands during the weekends and only plan one or two (if short) activities a day on the weekends.  This keeps me from still feeling rushed and stressed and doesn't over stimulate my son.  We have managed to find some great down time at home and able to do things with each other.  I  understand the demands of work taking all your energy and patience where none is left when you walk in your house.     

  

  

I was just checking the message board while my two are outside playing.  I started crying when I read your message.  It meant so much to me that someone else understands.  Keep your chin up.  It sounds like you have a good sense of humor - keep it - you will need it.  I completely understand about the stress of co-workers and the demands of perfection.   I have one little girl who is completely out of control.  The regular classroom teacher looks at me to solve all of her problems, her mother can't control her either.  My boss thinks I should devote a lot of time to the girl plus keep up with all my other students.  ENOUGH!!!    Good luck and don't give up.  THanks again for replying.   

  

 
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November 8, 2005, 6:07 pm CST

You are so right

Quote From: askphoebe

OK the one couple  with the heavy set tall man were so unbelievably NEGATIVE!  He and she ALWAYS had nasty frowns and scowls on their faces! No wonder they don't get along. it was almost embarrassing to watch them act like pouting little children.! They should be ashamed of themselves. I can guarantee they will be divorced in  no time.
That is exactly how I felt after the program.  It makes me sad to know that Dr. Phil was trying to cheer them up at the end of the program and they could barely smile then.  It makes me think - if you don't want to be on the show - don't agree!!!!!!
 
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January 9, 2006, 4:25 pm CST

Biological Mom lied!!!!!

Ok, I just finished watching my tape of today's show, and did anyone else catch that the first mom completely lied on tape!!!!!  First, let  me say that I am not in any way for the Dad and the step-mom, but the biological mom lied to the dad when he came to pick up the kids.  She told Dad that one boy wasn't even home, then looked into the camera and changed her story.  As soon as she registered that the camera was there, she said, "Oh, well he just got home a little while ago."  In my opinion if she is going to lie when she is pressured like that (when she is not expecting Dad), then she will probably lie anytime.  I think she came off as minipulative and hateful.  It is very very sad that the boys are in the middle of this.  As a first grade teacher, I often have to listen to both sides of the story.  In my opinion, if you cannot say  something nice, THEN DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!!  It is interesting that we teach kids social skills but do not teach adults!!!!  All three adults in the first segment are sad, spoiled babies!  It is just sad, sad, sad.    
 
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January 9, 2006, 4:34 pm CST

Run!!!

Angela - Run, run, run, run, run.  Keep running and don't look back.  I know that Dr. Phil suggested letting him have supervised visitation, but even that scares me.  There is a lot that Chris can do to your child without even touching her.  I would keep a journal and have her teacher also keep one.  Keep her teacher aware of the dates of visitation so that it can be documented what kind of day she has after visitation.  I teach first grade special education, and half of my caseload are students with emotional problems.  Two kids are in foster care with supervised visitation with their biological parents.  The days after visitation are horrible.  One girl pees her pants because she is so messed up after seeing her parents.   I am sorry, but NO ONE will ever convince me that Chris will be a good parent or role model for his daughter.  And Chris, if you are reading this, I would absolutely say it to your face without any fear.  You are a loser!!! 

  

In closing let me say - Run, Angela, run! 

 
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January 9, 2006, 4:35 pm CST

You are so right!!

Quote From: wise_woman

Uh, excuse me, but that isn't the point. My ex-husband knew how to choke someone without leaving anything behind. My ex is everything that guy told Dr. Phil he was, except the drugs and jail-time. Guys like him and my ex don't change, and no amount of therapy can help an addiction, especially alcoholism.  

  

The man -Chris-  said that he would never hurt his daughter, right? Uh huh, sure. My ex said that too. You can say that when you're sober, but when your under the influence, you don't know what you're doing. My ex had my daughter against the kitchen counter, his hand around her neck. She's been Claustrophobic ever since, and hates him for lying to her. He said, right to her face, that he would never hurt her. He promised her. He broke his promise, and my daughter has refused contact with him ever since we moved.  

  

Angela said that he gave her a black eye, and that Chris punched her in the stomach when she was pregnant. That is much too close to what happened to me. Actually, that exactly  what happened to me. It's way too close.  

  

I don't believe Chris, and I have good reason to. I think Angela is very smart to keep her daughter away from her father. Everyone wants what's best for Serena, right? Keep her away from her. It's safer, for her physical, and physiological health.   

Your message is right on the money.  Good posting!
 
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February 24, 2006, 7:21 pm CST

These women are unreal!!

What a crock!!!!!!  These three women are no more bitchy then I am.  I just don't go on national TV to display it.  The lengths that these women went to to disagree with Dr. Phil was comical.  I have no doubt that I can be bitchy, but it certainly is not my way of life.  You have to wonder what is wrong with these people that being bitchy is their claim to fame.  Get a clue.  Oh, and if you have a problem with what I had to say, just tell me.  I will be sure to tell you that you are wrong!
 
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February 24, 2006, 7:25 pm CST

HE HE HE

Quote From: lindaarche

The blonde on the episode about bitches reminds me of another blonde bitch who was neither sassy or sexy and that was Nellie Olson from Little House on the Prairie. 
You hit that right on the mark.  I kept wondering who she reminded me of - good one.
 

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