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Messages By: princess1

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happy
September 30, 2005, 1:53 am CDT

just my opinion

i think as a society we are very overmedicated. first we tell our kids to "say no to drugs", then we say "here, take a pill".
 
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October 12, 2005, 10:35 pm CDT

teresa gives home schooling a bad name

teresa's reasons for homeschooling (as she said on the show) are the reason so many home schooling families have so many problems with family and friends.  we are a homeschool family for the past 4 years, and eveyone always has the same first thought, "what about socialization?"  we do not keep our son locked away for 8 hours a day with nobody but his dad and myself around.  we homeschool because we believe it gives our son the best possible education.   he is in many more social activities than when he was in the public school system and is learning valuable life lessons.  next month he is going to south america with our church's youth group on a mission trip.  i know teresa loves her daughter and only wants what is best for her, but in the end, a parent's job if they have done their job well, is to become obsolete.
 
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frustrated
October 18, 2005, 10:16 pm CDT

homeschooling

Dr Phill, I am going to have to disagree with you about homeschooled kids.  You said that past 8th grade the kids must be put into school (public) in order for proper social development.  You have obviously been influenced by the traditional establishment.  My homeschooled 10th grader gets far more social contact now than he ever did in the few years he was in public school.  He gets to have social contact with all types of people of all ages rather than sitting in a classroom with nothing but 25 other 16 year olds.  Why is it that people think homeschooling families are shut away from the rest of the world?  We actually go out into the world, and are an active part of the community.  You say you do your homework on subjects Dr Phil, but you missed a few chapters on the whole homeschool issue, and my homeschooling family would love to be able to educate you and your audience. 

 
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sad
October 27, 2005, 1:07 am CDT

just wondering

has anyone else had the problem of their husband falling asleep durring foreplay? or is there something wrong with me?
 
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confused
October 27, 2005, 10:41 pm CDT

how do i deal?

i was raped as a 9 year old child by the father of my parents best friend.  it was years before i told anyone, and i only told when i found out that this man was also raping his granddaughters.  i thought that maybe if i finally told we could stand together and bring this man to justice.  my mother's exact words when i did tell her were "it never would have happened if you weren't such a little tramp".  as far as i know this man never paid for his crime.  now, 30 years later, my mother is a widow, and her friend (the son of my rapist) is also widowed.  they are now in a relationship, and in fact are going on a cruise in a few months to scatter my dad's ashes.  i hold this man also somewhat accountable, because when his own daughters were being raped by his father, he did nothing.  my mother says i need to "get over it", but i dont know how.  i dont want to try to pick her friends, but as long as she is in a relationship with the man who condoned my abuse, i can't let her be a part of my life or my son's life.  so, how do i work through this one?
 
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October 28, 2005, 11:16 pm CDT

you have made my day!!

Quote From: mjkkas

Wow, get over it huh? I really hate that when 

people say that. We did not choose this, it 

was put upon us by someone else. 

  

I myself would walk and not turn back, you  

never got your mothers support and you  

probably never will. I know that may sound harsh, 

but I think we hold on to the dream of what 

we needed our families to be for us. It just 

doesn't happen that way, see I would dream of 

having this family that would love and support me 

in anything, so I kept contact with my mother in 

hopes that that would happen soon. She would call 

me and we could go shopping or "do lunch". 

Well I realized that I don't want my mother to call 

me, I want the mother I never had to call me. 

There is a big difference there isn't there?  

  

I am really sorry that you have not had the support 

that you needed from your family and for your 

mother to call you a tramp? OH that makes me 

real mad! You are a "Princess" I hope that you 

really know that, I like that you picked that name 

for yourself. I hope that you are well and that 

you can feel free to post here anytime. Take Care! 

  

mj 

you have no idea how wonderful it is to know that there is someone else out there who understands what i have been through. how true it is that i had 2 ideas of my mother, the person she is and the nurturing "mommy" i needed her to be. the ironic thing is i have an autistic brother, and the mother i wanted her to be for me is the mother she is for him. she is actually the one who started calling me "the princess". it was supposed to be a put down, but a few years ago i saw a sticker at a christian book store that said "i know i am a princess, my father is the king of kings" my earthly mother, who could not be what i needed has been replaces with my heavenly father who supplies my every need and gives me the desires of my heart. Praise God!!!!!
 
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hopeful
October 29, 2005, 2:11 am CDT

been there done that

Quote From: greyghost

I can't wait to see what Dr. Phil has to say about this.  I have felt the entire range of emotions on this topic.  As a divorced mother of two I am not able to give my kids everything they want.  I feel guilty about that because they see a lot of their friends with all the latest "toys"  while I'm struggling just to save money to buy an x-box.  Those are expensive but thats just the x-box, the games my son wants cost about the same as a weeks worth of groceries for us.  Oh, my God he is only 7 and I am already feeling stress about his toys.  I hear this is only going to get worse.  Help!!!!!!
this is where you have to decide to be the parent instead of the friend. when you have to decide between a game and groceries that is a sign of a larger problem. as parents we have to teach our children that in life you cant always get everyting you want, nor is it good for us to have everything we want. have you son help with making a shopping list, let him know how much things cost and explain that the money is not unlimited. teach him to be a wise spender and how to save for special things he wants. then when he is able to get something special like an xbox or a game, he will have a better appriciation on how much sacrifice you had to go through to get him special treats. it isnt easy and it will break your heart when you have to tell him no, but in the long run you will be raising a more responsible child.
 
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worried
October 29, 2005, 2:25 am CDT

stand your ground

Quote From: marasmom

I have a sister-in-law that I cannot stomach!  My husband and I have been married for almost 11 years and we have 2 children.  His family lives 4 hours from us and his mother just recently passed away.  Now he wants to spend Thanksgiving with his sister and I do not want to-at all.  My choice is, either spend it with a woman I despise or spend it without my husband.  I would like some feedback, but before anyone jumps on this-here is the history:  It all started when our daughter was born 6 years ago.  His sister had a fit because she was not named the Godmother.  We had never given her any reason to think she would be-she smoked and drinks heavily and not to mention, she has no control over her own kids and she is just a spaz!  Then one year, we were visiting for the 4th of July-and had brought our chocolate lab puppy along.  She proceeded to get drunk and started making a scene-calling her own mother a bitch and carrying on about how our "viscious attack dog" had "gouged" her daughter.  (They were playing and our puppy jumped up and scratched her arm.)  We exchanged words that night  and didn't speak to each other for 1 1/2 years--fine by me!  I finally agreed to bury the hatchet - no apoogies were ever offered.  Everyone else had excused her behavior as "that's just the way she is."  My mother-in-law became very ill, so we spent last Christmas with his family, anticipating that this would be her last .  My SIL starts in-by making a spectacle out of me, in front of a room full of people-most of whom I had never met before (friends of hers).  As if it wasn't bad enough that I had to spend the holidays with strangers, now she has to make snide comments about how I am the "queen"-everyone waits on me and I hadn't helped her do anything all day.  This woman is a control freak-to the extreme.  I had offered to help, but she didn't need it.  My husband is always good about helping out and letting me relax.  Plus, my daughter was the youngest child there and nobody was playing with her-so I was keeping her entertained.  By the end of the night, my husband and her are shouting at the top of their lungs-she is calling me names and complaining about me to him, as if I am not in the room.  Every time I try to defend myself, she reads something else into what I am saying.  Eventually, I give up and become concerned about my MIL-as we think she had had a minor heart attack earlier in the day.  She is becoming increasingly stressed-she fell in the bathroom.  I decided to not feed into my SIL-I just take care of my MIL.  I am talking to her, calming her down...when my SIL sits down, points her finger in my face-right in front of this frail woman who looks like she is knocking on death's door!  I finally put my hand in her face and told her to shut up-I was not going to do this anymore because of her mother.  (oh, I forgot to mention that her own mother had called her a bitch earlier and she actually threw a glass at her!)  PSYCHO!  We had plans to see a movie in the IMAX theater the next day, but instead, we packed up our stuff and left early the next morning.  Our children were upstairs listening to the arguing the whole time.  What a way for a 9 and 5 year old to spend Christmas!  I am sure her kids are used to her ranting and raving, but my kids are not.  So, now he wants to spend Thanksgiving with her!  This has always been our one holiday that we spend together.  We never go anywhere, or do anything with anyone else.  We have never spent Thanksgiving with his family, ever.  But now, "it's the first one since mom died" so he feels guilted into going .  I am torn because I have told my husband how I feel.  I don't care if I ever see her again-I cringe at the sound of her voice or the mention of her name.  She stresses me out, as do her kids.  I want to spend my traditional Thanksgiving in a nice quiet, peaceful environment, with my family, as I always do.  Am I a bad wife for not compromising so my husband can be with his family?  The thing that makes me the most angry is that this woman never apologizes.  Everyone excuses her behavior because she is nuts.  She has untreated adult ADHD and is the biggest drama queen you'd ever meet.  I want to be with my husband for Thanksgiving and more importantly, for my children to be with their dad.  But, in my heart, it just makes me sick to think of spending another holiday with that woman.  Peoplel say they understand why I am angry, but is it wrong of me to STAY so angry?  I just don't think I have the energy for her, but I don't want to upset my husband.  What do I do?
if you truly dont want to go to sis in laws for the holiday, (and after what i read, why would you?) stand your ground. that is no environment for your children, husband or yourself. make your traditional holiday meal, and if need be have it with just your children. if your husband decides to go to his sister, it is his choice. be willing to listen when he comes home; he is bound to have some sister horror stories, and be VERY thankful that you dont live close enough to her that you have to have regluar contact.
 
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November 10, 2005, 3:08 am CST

internet dating

four years ago, i was in an aol chat room when i got an instant message from a man. i checked his profile and found he was from my area. we exchanged phone numbers. i never thought he would call, but he did. we had our first date on nov 5,2001. to be honest, i really wasnt that attracted to him, but he was one of the nicest men i had ever met. i continued to see him and before long i started seeing him with my heart and not my eyes. it was then i realized he was one of the most beautiful people in the world, and on jan 25 we will have been married for 3 of the best years of my life. i am so glad i gave him the chance, and am blessed to have the best husband and my son has the best father in the world.
 
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sad
April 20, 2006, 2:44 pm CDT

I understand completly

I can totally understand the daughter on todays show, as I lived through it myself.   My father had not even been gone 24 hours before my mother moved the "new" man in.  We were not allowed to speak of my dad, and I , being a "daddy's girl"  took the brunt of my mothers wrath.  My mother even lied to put me into a mental hospital, and the whole time I was there the hospital staff kept asking me why I was there.  I now have no contact with my mother, and have my own family.  We are very happy without the "drama" of dealing with my mother.
 

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