Messages By: princess1

Quote From: marleen12

Unless we put these drunks away for a long time they will just keep on doing what they've been doing. Drunks who kill people when they drink and drive should be subjected to the same jail times and those who use a gun to kill someone.

Quote From: justini

        I dont think everyone is thinking about the big picture.  From one point of view all people can think about a child getting plastic surgery is "How terrible; Our children should be accepted for what's on the inside, not by their external beauty."  But someone who says that is not logically placing himself in the childs shoes.  The reality of it is that our society is CONSUMED with beauty, with plastic surgery, with the way one looks.  It's a tough, hard, life, I know, but it is what it is and it's not going to be different if one child is taught that society cares about her character more than looks.  It's human instinct to judge the first thing we see-the appearance.  That's not about to change.

         That being said, I'm 16 years old and I had a nose job last summer.  I do not consider myself immature- I'm in line to be a valedictorian and received PSAT scores above 77 (out of 80) on each section, so please don't think I'm ignorant or stupid.  I got rhinoplasty because I had thought very carefully about it, and realized that my self-esteem had been so greatly affected by the hump on my nose that it simply wasn't worth the $6,000 I'd save to go through the rest of my life in such emotional distress.  After I got my surgery, I no longer felt like I was being judged by my face, so it was much easier for me to talk to other people, so look at myself, to be a normal teenager.

        You're probably wondering what my point is.  I'm trying to say that it is not FAIR or RIGHT for a person to judge whether someone, a child or not, should get plastic surgery, because you don't and WILL NEVER know what that person has gone through.  That would be like a person with a high metabolism telling a fat person about to get liposuction to just go on a diet because diets are what works for thin people.  But that thin person simply doesnt know what that fat person has gone through, so its not up to her to tell the fat person to or not to get liposuction.  As far as Im concerned, no one should ever judge a person if he got liposuction because he simply couldn't get rid of the weight; people whove been thin forever dont understand what its like to be fat; people who dont have humps on their noses dont understand what its like to have that abnormality; tall people never understand what its like to be shorter than everyone elseetc.etc. 

        So to all of you who think teenage plastic surgery is wrong, think again.  I hope you will recognize that every person is unique and affected by his own physical faults in his own way, and it is SELFISH, PIGGISH, CRUEL and CRUDE to assume that you know what a person has gone through in his life.

 

Quote From: justini

Even after all that I've said it seems like you still think the same as you did before I wrote what I did.  I'm not trying to attack you, but as I've said before, I don't believe you know what it is like to have a physical defect that causes people to treat you differently.  I've lived life before and after plastic surgery, and for me as an individual, life has been much easier and more pleasant after.  It could have been because I had more confidence in myself and that changed the way I acted around people, therefore changing the way they treated me, or it could have been because other people simply treat more attractive people better.  Whatever the reason, in my case life after my nose job is much better.  I do not regret it, and cannot besides financial reasons imagine why I would wish I had not done it.  Please take the time to research other people's views who have gone through plastic surgery before judging me and my first hand opinion by my age.  Had I not written I was sixteen in there you probably would have assumed I was an adult and treated me like one; adults are just big kids.  They don't magically reach an age where they stop name calling, which by the way I was not doing (and if I were would not be embarassed of it).  I was simply describing the way I perceived people who, like you, fail to understand how emotionally painful it is to have something on the middle of your face that distracts people from seeing you.  I suppose I will forever disagree with your line "Bottom line is if you don't like yourself before surgery, you won't like yourself after" because I have lived through both and know that I didn't like myself before and I like myself after.

Quote From: blgspc

Alcoholism is a disease, period. It is resistant to treatment, in part, due to the most prominent, persistent, presenting symptom: Denial!

Alcoholism has been recognized by the Medical Community as a serious Disease for a Very long time, now. So, the debate is OVER.

 

About treating an Alcoholic AGAINST their willBe very, very careful what you ask for! I worked in Behavioral Healthcare for almost 30 years. I spent almost all of my career working with the Chemically Dependent. Trust me, you can not-successfully- treat someone who is Chemically Dependent, involuntarily.

In the state I live in, lawmakers got the idea that you ACTUALLY could treat addicts and alcoholics involuntarily back in the late 1980s. They passed legislation to involuntarily commit people felt to be chemically dependent to in -patient treatment.

It not only DOES NOT work, in this state the states largest and once one of the finest treatment facilities went from a very skilled Drug Rehab and safe place to recover, to a NIGHTMARE for everyone. Those who were admitted involuntarily were regarded as patients- as they should be- however, they brought all of their extremely destructive and unlawful behaviors with them! When someone is committed there are NO consequences for these behaviors! In Rehab you CAN NOT have treatment without consequences. Negative consequences are often the ONLY motivations for change! The staff of the facility I spoke of have had to deal with assault, destruction of state property and attempted murder just to name a very few unlawful acts! Its become quite common place, now. There are no charges EVER! Think about having an enormous facility full of addicts and alcoholics stuck in a place where they arent interested in being. It very quickly becomes a dealers haven. Its now a place to house addicts and alcoholics for thirty days. Lawlessness is rampant. What do they now do with an angry addict who has destroyed a unit for drugs and is ready to assault the staff next? Since there can be no arrest or prosecution, the psychiatrists actually drug them to create a safe environment!

Since those staff members skilled in drug rehab quickly recognized, early on, that real treatment was no longer possible, they moved on.

Worse still, since dependence is the most pervasive part of this disease, the law has enabled those who are Chemically Dependent to remain so. Now, addicts and alcoholics, who have burned their bridges EVERYWHERE else and have no where else to go, have learned to go to the nearest hospital ER announce their problem adding that they may be a danger to themselves or others and Bingo they re-enter treatment for another 30 days. Some people have been through the facility more than 25 times!!! Some are discharged 8:30 AM and are back on the admissions list by afternoon. This law is a killer of the Chemically Dependent. It enables them to the graveyard!

The one thing that really DOES work is what you saw Dr. Phil do today- an intervention!

Quote From: frcheney

well, there are millions of people whith half a brain cell that do believe it's a disease.  You say you were a former "drunk".  Once a drunk always a drunk.  That's my motto.  How did homosexuality have anything to do with this show?  Yes, it is a choice to drink.  Lots of people have choices to do whatever they want.  But, as you should know, alcohol impairs your ability to make good decisions.  So, in tha way alone is it a choice.  Once that first drink or two is in you then you are no longer thinking clearly.  We all know this.  I've got a novel idea...let's look at how many people get in a car everyday and not drink and drive but drive in an angry or agressive manner.  In otherwords roadrage.  People die every single day in car accidents not related to drugs or alcohol.  I personally have a friend who was in a car accident from someone slamming on their breaks and they ran right into the back of them.  It was their choice to drive ignorant too.  So, it's no only alcohol, it's any other drug that someone could be taking too tha may cause an accident.  But society accepts alcohol because it's legal.  Again, i stick to he point that the government has a monopoly on alcohol so therefore they make it legal.  Why isn't it illegal?  Alcohol is one of the quickest and most dangerous drugs i've ever seen in my life.  So, bottom line is that, yes, we do all have choices but because you are a "former drunk" does not give you the right to judge.  People are not all the same and maybe people like Carly may have some other problems and things that have happened in her life to help her make the "choices" she has made.  Again, no one wakes up and decides alcoholism is their life.  People can even die from the withdrawals.  You say that's not a disease?  No one is saying alcoholism or homosexuality is both ways.  I'm a homosexual and in recovery.  How about that?  Bu, I'm here, I'm alive and I can share my experiences with others instead of bashing their life.  that's what a good person would do.  Help someone in need and someone who struggles.  I'm sure they fell alone enough without more abuse. 

Quote From: big2199

I said smile because you sound very angry. Now I want you to listen with an open mind. I'm not a Doctor I am just giving you my opinion OK. Now that we have that settle.  Alcohol like any other drug substance can be addicted. Your body will eventually crave for it. Anyone that consumes   medical drugs, illegal drugs,  alcohol, and get this food, yes food people bodies will crave for it daily. All examples have different effects, but all are good for you until they are abused. I'll start with marijuana. This drug helps people with glaucoma, and should only be use for health reasons. Cocaine is use also in the medical field. Novocaine is made from this and many other drugs that is used in the medical field. Alcohol is good to relax the body and mind, and it also let the Truth come out and play. SMILE...... Food is beneficial for the body. OK, now that  we got that out of the way, with all of that said. Do you agree that they are  beneficial for the body and mind, however if any of the above is abused that they will  become addicted ?   All have different side effects if abused for examples, food, if abused you will become over weight, different health issues will arise, Marijuana, your brain will fried like scramble eggs, Cocaine, your nose will explode, SMILE ,no just joking, you will also become brain damage and very dysfuncional, and Alcohol, you will damage your liver and cancer can develop etc. The bottom line is, if you use too much of the above you will and can become addicted leading into other health problems and issues. Is it a disease? I can't said, I am not a doctor. Is it addicted, YES. Can it be help? Yes. As you know the addiction take a great deal of time to end. The CHOICE is to get HELP, or to continue to drink IRRESPONSIBLY. People that make the CHOICE to drink that first glass of Alcohol in their lives don't start off as DRUNKS, however they do start off with the knowledge of realizing that alcohol can become addicted if, abused. So, the question of the hour should be, Can I  handle the HISTORY of ALCOHOL.?   A word of advice to you, never call yourself a former drunk. Say your a person with wisdom and knowledge of the effects caused by drinking too much. Take care  

Quote From: aprilsowell

Quote From: rautcr

"I can't wait to see this show!  I have a daughter in law from hell! I contacted the show and told my story and decided because of the grandkids, I had better pull back. I have bent over backwards to try to welcome her into this family. I have showered her with love and she continues to be a smart ass. She is jealous of the relationship I have with my grandkids. My son and I were once very close and she trys to destroy that relationship too. I bite my tongue constantly with her. Her own family ignores her and she has no friends. Think she'd figure it out. She has cost me to miss one of my grandchilds birthday for the last 3 years. She ruins every holiday. Just when I think she is starting to change, she pulls something. I promise, I am a good mother in law and have tried and tried with this girl, but I am not going to take the disrespect any longer. I feel bad because I know my son is in the middle and is torn. Any suggestions?"   -Where is your ownership of the issue? You didn't do anything wrong, your DIL is just psycho IYO I take it? I'd like to hear the other side of that story too, Just reading your post makes me cringe for your DIL because reading into what you wrote I think there are probably reasons for all that stuff that are partly your fault and you're just not fessing up.   Maybe you should ask your DIL nicely what you did to offend her so. I'd bet she'd have an answer for you quick and in a hurry. Besides that your son is a big boy, he makes his own decisions. You need to realize your son has his own nuclear family now that should come WAY before you. Get over it he's not your litle boy anymore, he's a grown man, your relationship with him is probably sour because he's standing up for his wife which is exactly where he should be IMO. I say your son deserves a pat on the back and your poor DIL probably deserves a medal. Far too many times we as DIL's try to be nice because we don't want to be labeled the "Evil DIL" and we get trampled on. If she's being a smartass maybe there's a reason. I'm sure she didn't suddenly develop an attitude without ANY provacation. As for your grandkids, remember being a grandparent is NOT A RIGHT IT'S A PRIVLEDGE. If you can't figure out a way to make things work with this family then I guess you don't love or want to be with them that bad.   To any MIL's or IL's that happen to read this board if you want to have a good relationship with your DIL's and their family (i.e. nuclear family) then you need to remember a couple of things: We are not here just to please you! We have our own lives and stresses and things to do. Call before you drop by, ask if you can visit or if we will visit you DO NOT DEMAND A VISITor just drop by! This is so annoying.   If we want your opinion or advice we'll ask for it otherwise butt out. Don't expect to be in the delivery room, it's uncomfortable and you better than anyone should know that childbirth is an experience that doesn't need extra stress. Don't bug your son for a play by play of what's happening if you are not in the delivery room but are INVITED to the hospital. When he has a chance to take a break without leaving his wife in labor alone, he'll let you know or have a nurse tell you. If you're a smart IL you will let your Son and his wife decide when a visit is appropriate and you will deal with it without being a child about it. Don't be offended if you are not asked to come stay and help out the first couple of weeks and don't insist if you aren't invited. You know the week after you have a baby is not pretty and for some DIL's they may feel uncomfortable having you there. If you are asked and do want to go help, HELP- DO NOT PLAY HOG THE BABY and make a woman who just had a baby cook and clean for you. You should be there to do whatever you can to make her life easier if nothing else than to thank her for bringing your gc into the world. Understandably you are excited about your grandchild but if you can't help DON'T COME! We are not your sounding board if you gossip about other family members we know you are talking about us behind our backs and it will put us on the defensive. Always remember our children are OURS, NOT YOURS. They do not belong to you. You don't own them or us. Whether or not you agree with our choices doesn't matter a bit, they are ours to make, you had yours when you raised your kids.   Understand that your son has his own family and they should come before you. He may always be your baby but he's now somebody's husband. Don't play tug of war trying to compete and try to make yourself a higher priority. Someday your children grow up and become their own people, that lead their own lives and why a mother's love is always welcome there is a point where it becomes too much and it's clear you still haven't come to terms with your child "leaving the nest". Get a hobby enjoy your life, enjoy your children and grandchildren but learn that the more trouble and drama you cause for your child and his family the farther you are going to push yourself away and the more you are going to lose in the end.   I don't mean to make it out like all MIL's are the devil and all DIL's are perfect, but it's hard for us, we are new in your family we haven't had 20-30 years to get used to your behavior and I think that most mothers want to automatically assume the worst of the "outsiders". Watch what you say, if you offend- apologize. Even if you didn't mean to. For all the MIL's out there including mine that are not like some of the MIL's in these stories, thank you. Thank you for not being a nutt job and driving me crazy, for giving my family some space and not expecting anything and letting us give our time and affection as we are able instead of demanding it when we don't have it to give. You're very appreciated.   April

Quote From: jettav

The lady doesn't want to celebrate holidays. And so what, she accepts a gift, if you have a problemw ith some one acceptonmg something then don't buy them something, get over it.

I have been ridiculed many times for not taking my kids trick or treating, what's the big deal and who's business is it anyway? Believe me, my kids are not missing a thing, they have hteir fun and activites and tehy come home happy and fullfilled, no needt o take them to a bnch of strangers home for treats, thre are better places to get those and they don't have to dress up like freakin lookin, scary obnoxious beings to have a good time, that's the rule in my home and our family traditions will continue as is regardless of what others think.

My daughters school had their fall party and no costumes were aloud, did they miss out on anything, no way, the child came home with alot more treats then she has ever seen as well as a couple days before that, had another activity at hte school, came home with a bag full of treats, right along with the excitement of the fun, games, singing,food, friends. two more activities to go and it isn't including the traditional trick or treating, don't need it.

holidays, in my opinion is the tie to come and celebrate and have fun together and so what if we all celebrate in differnet ways to meet the needs and desires of our families, what a boring world this would be if we all did the same thing the same way, I celebrate my way, you celebrate your way and when our children grow up and can make decissions like this on their own,t ehy will develop their own ways of celebrating and that is the way it should be.

So to the sister who disagrees with her sister for not celebrating, get over it and go do your own thing. no where does it say that it is mandadtory to celerate int he same ways as every one else. Actually, it's really a cool thing to do your own thing, makes it more special that way.

Quote From: jettav

A child does not have to go trick or treating to be happy and  to have a good time, My children have their 5th activity of the week tomorrow night and they will get more candy, treats, fun then one night of trick or treating and they dress up and  are amongst friends and absolutely nothing negative about doing the things that we choose to do.  Follow your heart, and start your own family traditions, trick or treating is not mandatory for kids to have fun, there are many options out  there and for my family, we have found some great things and they are fun and uplifting.  My five year old daughter asked me aseveral days ago about trick or treating and of course i explained to her what kids do, they dress up and go door to door and they get treats, she then asked, why we don't do that and my response to her weas, well, it something we chose not to do because we do not know the people giving out the treats,  I also reminded her of the funt hings we do at this time of year and asked her, now if I were to give you a choice of going out to trick or treat or going to this particular activity, which wuld you choose, of course. she chose the one that was full of excitement, just not the walking around getting treats. Yes, she is only five, but she is one smart gal and she loves having fun, no way is she gonna give up certain things, kids can be happy within their surroundings and teachings, it is the adults who make such a  big deal out of things, not the kids. NOw, my three year, just goes with the flow, she is clueless about trick or treating but I guarentee that she loves her little freinds and looks forward to our activites, whay? because we are a funa nd happy family and we don't miss a think when it comes to celebrating and my kids arelearning that. we may not do the trick or treating thing but we sure do know how to fun and besides, it is no one elese business, so what if you don't go trick or treating, it isn't the end of the world,LOL.

Quote From: mydrdee

I didnt see any Nigerian lady amongst those scam artistes. They are all Americans!!!  Wouldnt  it be very wrong to assume every American is a fraud?
The scam industry is a universal thing lately, how wrong will we be to ascribe all the blames to Nigeria, Nigerians or Africans as a whole. Many of these scams are going on in the American society and Americans are loosing Millions to fellow Americans.