Messages By: jkakjr

My husband and I have 4 children,  a 5yr.old, 4 yr.old and 11month old twins.  I just very recently found out to our surprise that we are pregnant again.  We were taken preventative measures but it did not work out.  My husband is very reluctant to proceed with this pregnancy and feels that he could not handle a fifth child.  I am still in shock but feel that a fifth child would be ok.   I stay at home and handle 80% of the day to day activities with the kids.  I know that I could handle the work load and the stress of being pregnant with 2 one year olds running around. I also know that I love being a mom and find a great deal of pride in it.   I do wonder though how another baby would affect the chemistry of our home.  Would individual attention run to thin with more kids?  Would my second child, a 4yr old girl who already  needs alot of my attention, suffer ?  Or are we not giving ourselves enough credit.  My husband and I are wonderful, loving parents who want only what is best for our family.  Do we dig a little deeper for the courage and strength it will take to add to our family or not?  I need some guidance from anyone who has been in this situation, or has 5 or more kids! Thanks

Thank-you for your thoughts.  I believe that as the shock wears off of my husband that he too will realize that we can do this and that we have the love and the ability to raise a fifth child.  I was looking at a pros and cons list that I wrote and it still comes down to the fact that he/she is our baby and that is all that matters.  God will never give me more than I can handle!  Thank-you.

I did watch the show today and feel bad for woman who do not have a husband who really appreciates them.  I am a stay at homer and have 4 children under 5 and one on the way.  This is how it is- I bust my butt every day for my kids and my husband by taking care of the home and in its entirty.  We have our own fitness business and my husband loves what he does and has to put in alot of hours so I can stay home.  This is my job.  I keep the house clean, do the laundry, cook and shuffle the children wherever the day may take us.  I also find time to work-out and stay healty so I don't lose my mind.  I wear nice clothes and have time to take a shower and get "pretty" everyday.  But I do that for me!!!!  I am a woman of many talents and could do anything I wanted to- I chose the job of stay at home mom.  My husband appreciates what I do, he admits that he could never do it, he loves me clean, dirty, or whatever.  I sometimes hope that he would do more but then I hear horror stories from other woman whose husbands complain about everything they do.  I must say Iam lucky.    

My advice to woman is to take care of themselves first.  Make yourself a priority every morning and you'll feel a whole lot better about yourselves and who you are.  Then you can be the best mom and wife you can be.  Your husband may even notice the difference in your attitude and start treating you better then ever! 

I know where you are coming from.  I have a 5yr.old son, a 4 yr old daughter, 1yr. old twins, and one on the way.  My daughter who is four has been giving us grief since she waws two.  She is very smart, very independent, wonderful at school and while playing with friends, but when she gets home around me shw loses her mind sometimes.  I dread the days where she is not in a good mood.  I use d to think it was because of her diet or some other reason why she would be so bad with me.  She does need alot of sleep and if she doesn't get it she can have a tantrum over anything.  But I also realized that it is me.  I have a lot to do with how she behaves or more importantly how she reacts to things.  If I get upset about something, she starts doing her thing.  If I respond in a more appropriate tone and use better body language she takes the discipline better and then knows that she can get more positve attention if she just listens and doesn't get upset.  I am still working on being consistent, because there are days when I want to just scream!  But I need to do something now and get her under control before she becomes a teenager and it gets much harder.  Please know you are not alone and just keep trying different things and you'll find which works best for you.