Messages By: nurse_05

    Donny,  WAKE UP!  If only you realized that you are way out of Miranda'a league!!!!  You seem to be more sincere, more compassionate. and ALOT MORE better looking then she is.  Leave her now before she gets pregnant.  she will only cheat on u,  then she will leave you and take your child away to live with the (50th) guy she slept with.   I couldnt belive how much you were in love with her.  It's so sad!  You are a gorgeous guy!  There are alot of women who are BEAUTIFUL inside and out who would love to date you!  It was so obvious that your wife is not Beautiful both inside and out. 

She is going to cheat on you again, and again!  Think about your future kids, and their health!  AIDS is alive and well, and her history with sleeping around is very scary!   

I will be sure to watch THIS show. All I heard on the preview was that the new mom feels as if her step-daughter is the "other woman", and that was enough for me. 

I have LIVED this nightmare for 18 years, and now, our marriage is over, largely because of the exact same thing. Most mothers will tell you that the kids come first no matter what, but if you haven't ever walked this, you have no idea what it is like. 

I hope that other step-moms will step up to the plate and tell their stories. Kids can be so cruel and manipulative in situations like this, and it doesn't get better as they grow older. Most of the time it just gets worse. 

Hoping for some valuable insight from Dr. Phil and others, 

Debi 

You can’t blame the evil step kids; the bottom line is the parent sets the tone for the relationship.  If kids are walking all over the stepparent then the parent is 100% responsible.  Stepparents cannot enforce rules or enforce discipline that is the parent's responsibility.   A parent who will not ensure their kid's treat their stepparent with respect is doomed to repeat another failed marriage.  Any parent who brings in a stepparent in to their kids lives has to accept responsibility for ensuring that both the kids and stepparent are capable of handling the changes to their lives.  

I don't know why people remarry when they have teens anyway.  Why not wait until the kids move out? 

And who has time to date and fall in love if they are focused on raising kids anyway? 

When the issues of blended families comes up it always frustrates me that all of the adults involved don't ever stop to consider that the kids never asked to have a step-parent, a new mom, a new dad, new siblings. The adults are the ones that made the decisions and should have thought things through BEFORE putting their kids in such a situation.  

Expecting a six year old to not act out is ridiculous - she does "know what she is doing" - all she knows is that she has needs that are not being met. If her Bio mother has left her, she has abandonment issues - even if you think you are the only mother she has ever known. It is your job to help her understand her feelings, to expess her emotions and to deal with the loss of her mother. It is your job to find a way to make the relationship work - not hers! Your needs are secondary and need to be met by your husband, not the kids.  

I had a step - parent and can truly say that even at 13 I didn't have the tools I needed to deal with the situation. I can't imagine being a step-child at 6... 

I may be miss reading your post be it appears to me you are blaming the 6 year old.  It is not the 6 year old that is the problem here.   It is the parenting.  As young as she is and with out the influnce of another adult there is no reason you cannot fully parent this child.  She is doing what works for her.  If you don't like something she is doing then you need to change how you react to it.  Your the only mother this little girl has and she needs a mother that loves her unconditionally.   

I suggest you AND YOUR HUSBAND read the book  

How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!. 

by Sal Severe