Messages By: theta1

I HAVE THIS FRIEND THAT I'VE ONLY KNOWN FOR 6 MONTHS. WE'VE GONE TO MOVIES AND HAD LUNCHES & DINNERS TOGETHER. LATELY SHE HAS BEEN STAND OFFISH. SHE DOESN'T RETURN PHONE CALLS, IF WE TALK IT'S MOSTLY ME THAT CALLS, SHE DOESN'T REPLY TO E-MAILS. I DON'T WANT TO END THE FRIENDSHIP, BECAUSE I KNOW SHE'S GOING THROUGH A REAL STRESSFULL TIME HERSELF. DO I HAVE TOXIC FRIENDSHIP OR AM I MAKING ABIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING. WHAT DO I DO?

I'VE ALREADY TALKED TO HER ABOUT THE SITUATION , AND SHE TELLS ME THAT WE ARE STILL FRIENDS. I'VE ASKED IF I HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO MAKE HER MAD, AND SHE TELLS ME NO AND GETS DEFENSIVIVE TELLING ME  I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH BEING TO NEEDY. SHE SAYS SHE DOESN'T LIKE HAVING TO RE-ASSURE ME AND THAT I SHOULD TRUST THAT SHE IS MY FRIEND.  I DON'T WANT TO BE AGRESSIVE OR PUSHY. SHE'S  A GOOD PERSON AND FUN TO HANG OUT WITH. I KNOW SHE'S HAD BAD RELATIONSHIPS IN THE PAST, AND I THINK BECAUSE I'M A GUY SHE DOESN'T REALLY TRUST ME YET. I'VE TOLD HER THAT I HAVE NO INTIMATE FEELINGS AND ONLY WANT TO BE HER FRIEND, BUT I DON'T THINK SHE REALLY BELIEVES ME. I ALSO KNOW SHE DOESN'T LIKE FOR PEOPLE TO "INVADE HER PERSONAL SPACE", AND I'VE MADE THE MISTAKE OF GIVING HER A FRIENDLY HUG EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE, AND SHE HAS RE-AFFIRMED ME THAT SHE "DOESN'T LIKE TO BE TOUCHED". HAVE I CROSSED A BOUNDRY WITH NO CHANCE OF RETURNING TO A NORMAL FRIENDSHIP? IS THERE HOPE THAT SHE'LL FULLY TRUST ME?

THANK YOU, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR OPINION. ALL I  NEEDED WAS AN UNBIASED POINT OF VEIW. I'M  VERY HOPEFUL NOW.

HI 

     IT'S BEEN A FEW WEEKS SINCE I WAS LAST HERE, AND I HAVE NOT HAD ANY CONTACT WITH MY FRIEND. I THINK SHE HAS GIVEN UP ON THE FRIENDSHIP,BUT I NOT 100% SURE. 

I FEEL AS THOUGH I HAVE 2 BATTLES BEING WAGED INSIDE ME. THE FIRST IS THE PART  OF ME THAT NEVER GIVES UP, THAT NEVER SAY DIE ATTITUDE, I DO NOT BELIEVE IN TURNING MY BACK ON A FRIEND. THE SECOND IS THE PART THAT TELLS ME I DO NOT DESERVE TO BE 

TREATED THIS WAY, WITH NO RESPECT FOR HOW I FEEL WHATSOEVER., AND I FEEL LIKE BOTH SIDES ARE NEITHER  WINNING NOR LOSING. DO I NEED TO GIVE IT MORE TIME OR DO I NEED TO FACE THE MUSIC, AND PROTECT MYSELF FROM ANY FUTURE HEARTACHE. 

MY FRIEND JUST LOST HER FATHER IN A VIOLENT WAY AND I WAS CURIOUS, HOW CAN I HELP HER COPE WITH THIS LOSS?  I ALREADY KNOW ABOUT THE JUST BEING THERE AND LISTENING, LETTING HER VENT AND BE ANGRY. WHAT I'M WISHING TO KNOW IS IF THERE IS ANYTHING ELSE I CAN SAY OR DO?  WHAT DO I SAY WHEN SHE ASKS ME WHAT TO TELL HER CHILDREN OF HOW TO DEAL WITH THE LOSS OF THEIR GRANDFATHER ( IF SHE ASKS FOR MY ADVICE)? I'VE COMMUNICATED WITH HER FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS AND AS I'VE SAID BEFORE I'M JUST LETTING HER TALK , BUT I FEEL AS THOUGH I'M NOT REALLY HELPING.  I KNOW I'M A GREAT FRIEND TO HER, BUT CAN I BE BETTER AND HOW?