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Messages By: kphilips10

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confused
January 2, 2007, 7:52 am CST

Unbelieveable

I am amazed at the number of people who think that boyfriend or girlfriend status implies fidelity.  If their is no ring there is no commitment and no requirement to be faithful.  I was part of the singles world for most of my 20's and always abided by this philosphy.  I was always upfront with the guys I dated, dating more than 1 at a time.  Get real, people.  A boyfriend or girlfriend is under no obligation to be faithful.  If you can't live with that idea, move on or find a mail order husband or wife.
 
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confused
January 2, 2007, 12:36 pm CST

Amazed

I continue to be amazed at people who are so out of touch with reality.  What kind of personalities do they have?  Are they so insecure they must resort to these kinds of attention getters?  Can't they stand on their on 2 feet without a therapist's help?  Studies show that just a 30 minute walk every day does as much or more good than therapy or pills.  This country is way overmedicated.  Throw the pills and TV away and get off the couch and outside!  I work in my yard or go for a walk every day - even in the rain!  None of us were ever promised an easy life.  Get over it and move on.  My grandmother only allowed us a 20 minute pity party.  After that, we had to get up and go on.  A philosophy that has served me well in my 57 years.
 
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happy
January 3, 2007, 5:50 am CST

Life Changing Experiences

Quote From: mksbugs

So  you've never had some negative life changing experience?  I can tell you right now that fear and anxiety are a real thing....sometimes you need professional assistance.  I agree that life is not easy, but sometimes there are circumstances that are beyond your control.  in my life it was a car wreck that should have injured or killed my husband, that alone caused some irrational (perhaps some rational) fears and anxiety.  I don't see how that could stereotype me as an attention getter if I were ever to be on the show.  Some people are insecure, things happen in life that can cause that.  good for you that you are able to get up and go on....but sometimes people need some help.  A little compassion and empathy never hurt anyone.
Indeed I have had things happen that had a negative impact on my life.  That doesn't mean I gave up or threw in the towel.  Bad things happen to everyone.  But the problems start when we let those bad things rule our lives, whether long or short term.  I believe for every door that closes , at least one more opens with something better on the other side.  Death, near-death, divorce, financial problems - all these things happen to everyone.  It is how we handle these things that really matter. 
 
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happy
January 3, 2007, 6:05 am CST

OK to be alone

One thing many people don't realize is that it is OK to be alone.  In fact, it has its advantages.  I am happily married now (for 26 years second time around) but was single for 9 years in between my marriages.  I was never unhappy as a single person.  In fact, I found it harder to adjust to marriage than to be single.  You really get to know yourself and be independent.  I was a single parent during that entire time as well, put my self through college and got a great job - where I met my second husband.  Sometimes there are diamonds in your backyard.  You just have to be open to seeing them.  I admit, I kissed a lot of frogs before I found Prince Charming! 

 

I don't think I would ever go through an internet service to meet someone.  You loose all the nuances founs in face to face meetings.  You get your hopes up and then meet the person and it's all wrong.  None of the innate chemical things happen over the internet.  There is a book titled "Anatomy of Love" .  All single people should read it and then go looking.  Understanding how our bodies find mates without us even being aware of it is a good way to begin looking for someone.  But in many cases, the right one is right under our noses and we don't even realize it.  As I told my daughter, you don't need perfection, only potential.

 
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angry
January 5, 2007, 4:28 am CST

Pack up and get out!

Quote From: tammyben

  Hi , I'm a mother of two girls 12 and 4 yrs old.  12 year old mine from a previous relationship.  4 year old together with my husband of 3 yrs.  My problem(s) is (are) that my husband treats my oldest  with such negativity lately he just seems to pick at her all the time.  I feel its gotten worse since I've started sticking up for myself.  See, I used to be very easy going almost a pushover and now he says I'm always attacking him when he tries to say anything to her.  But he is just so unreasonably being detrimental to her self esteem.  She is truly a kind hearted , loving ,  awesome child that I am so proud of.  I don't know if this is a jealousy thing for him or what.  Also He never goes to my family stuff with me and the girls (well I shouldn't say never he did for xmass.  Only because he knew that I was cooking boxing day for his family and he wanted to stay in my good books.)  anyway he fly's off the handle about really silly things all the time and then turns around by the end of that day and tries to apologize and say he's just stressed about work .  Our littlest daughter won't even let him lay with her at night for her bed time story because she says "Daddy gets too mad."  But I now realize I can't  accept this behaviour and it is getting worse.  Also I found something on our video camera that he was hiding suggesting he's cross-dressing or something -  which I'm too scared to tell him. I feel as though I'm living in a lie and I don't know how to get out. 
Pack up anything really meaningful to you (not "stuff") that can't be replaced for you and your kids and get out!  It is better to live on the street than with this man.  I left an abusive relationship with nothing except my dignity.  I was 3 months pregnant and spent every dime I had on a divorce.  He hit me once and I had him put in jail.  When he called me to get him out I told him to rot in hell.  SInce he wasn't worth me going to jail over (if I murdered him) I served him divorce paapers when he got out.  I paid for everything including a one way plane ticket to California.  I never looked back.  Non woman (or man) needs to live in abusive realtionship.  It does more harm to the kids to stay than to be dirt poor without him.  Being alone is so much better than being with an abusive person.  Don't tell him you are leaving, just leave - today!  Go anywhere.
 
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angry
January 9, 2007, 6:02 am CST

Kick their sorry asses out today!

If a person (man or woman) isn't working but just sitting around mooching off other working people, they should be kicked out!  I agree with folks who say get a job and learn a good work ethic at a young age.  I was born poor but I started working in farming jobs (tobacco, cotton, cabbage) at a very young age.  My parents always told me todo the best job I could, no matter what the work was.  We instilled that into our daughter and she is doing the same to her daughters.  No able bodied person deserves a free ride.  And the people who allow it to happen are almost as bad because they allow this to happen and continue.

 
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happy
January 10, 2007, 7:47 am CST

Couldn't agree more!

Quote From: cajunlady

  What is it with people now days that feel it is ok to bring their dog with them when they visit others? My husband and I have a beautiful new home. We have worked very hard to furnish it with the best. I absolutely hate it when people show up with their dogs and think nothing of it. Our Christmas Day was ruinned when my husbands  adult son brought his 90lb dog and refused to put him in his cage. The dinner I worked so hard to prepare was ruined with the dog running through the house barking and his master screaming at the top of his lungs for it to shut up. I asked my husband several times if he would ask his son to leave the dog at home but when that didn't work out then I asked if he could be put in the cage until the guest left. That didn't work either. So while the dog spread out on the floor to take his nap every one had to step over it. I agree with the lady who said there are people who don't appreciate dogs licking on them, sniffing their crotch etc. Then to top it off other guest showed up with their dog and just couldn't wait until we could see the dog in his new sweater. WOW that made my Christmas.

When did it become OK to take a non-working dog to the mall, a restaurant, and another person's house?  How would those same people feel if I brought my horses along?  Instead of putting my horse in a stroller I could have him pull the stroller!  I don't understand the philosophy of this whole thing.  Dogs are animals not little people!  Leave them at home when you travel, go out to eat, visit other people, or go shopping for Pete's sake.  No matter how cute they are.  And don't dress them up in stupid looking clothes.  If youj have all that extra time and money, spend both on children who need that kind of attention.
 
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happy
January 11, 2007, 11:52 am CST

Give me a break!

Quote From: polishgirl

I live in Ocean Beach, a town in San Diego, where the dogs have their own leashfree beach, where some food places allow pets at outside seating, they have water bowls out for dogs..etc & as far as your horses, back in the day they where water troffs, & tie ups outside stores for them too. But as Dr. Phil might say, your anger is coming from something deep, maybe someone you loved treated the family pet better than you, so you hold resentment towards everyone else you has that bond. do you buy expensive saddles for your horses? one would say why? I'm sure it costs more to care for a horse then the clothes I buy for my dog. why judge people for loving their animal so much? I love my kids, but they're grown, they don't want all the attention my dog does.
They allow dogs in the patios of restaurants in my town as well.  I still don't like it.  And no, I don't have some deep seated resentment from my childhood where a pet was treated better than I was!  Some things are just wrong because they are inappropriate.  And no I don't buy expensive saddles for my horses.  All of mine were used, good quality but used.  Certainly they cost money to feed but money is not the point here.  My daughter is grown and gone as well.  I am not looking for a subsitute for my child.  The point is that pets of any shape or size don't belong in public places, particularly restaurants.  I can ride my horse to the grocery store or post office and tie him outside.  I don't put him a bag or stroller and take him inside the grocery store or post office.  And "back in the day", horses were a means of transportation, not a pet.  Just as dogs were used for protection or to keep the fleas off the humans.
 
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quiet
January 22, 2007, 6:33 am CST

Fighting back

I am 58 years old and when I was in school kids tried to bully me.  I was never skinny but always the smartest person in the class.  I was bullied when I was in the first grade.  I went home crying and my father and mother both told me that fighting was wrong but sometimes necessary.  When I said they were bigger than me, Daddy said to get a big stick.  However, if I started the fight, I would be in serious trouble.  Well, as advised, I tried ignoring the bullies but that didn't work.  After a few weeks, I finally took Dad's advice.  While I was on the playground, the bullies started their usual thing.  I found a big stick and beat the crap out of the leader.  The followers just stood back and watched.  I was never bullied again.  I am against fighting but sometimes you have to fight back. 

 

I have a friend who taught his daughter one of the martial arts.  She was being picked on in school by bigger kids.  Finally, she fought back.  The other kid's parents called the police.  My friend went to court and won his case.  His daughter has the right to defend herself - at least here in the state of Florida.

 
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frustrated
January 22, 2007, 6:45 am CST

Are you crazy?

Quote From: queenvaron

You really think this guy is a snob huh? You haven't seen anything until you look at my husband. He is not only a snob that looks down on everyone, but he is also a master mainpulator and would have you believe that he is the savior of the world. He is what I call Mr. Big Cadillac Man Manipulator. He is very immature and plays with his toys, big or small. I had to sell off his tremendous G.I. Joe collection because he said f I lost the car that I lost him. He has done immeasurable things to not only me, but to other people. He tells lies about me to other people and states that I make him feel like a hillbilly. It was my trucker's hands that supported us most of our marriage. Yet he lets people know that I am a phramaceuticul representative that works for Eli Lilly making a six figure income. He tells people lies. When I had to work at Wal-Mart for a time people asked him if I was his wife working at Wal-Mart and he told them no that I was his wife's sister. Before we were married one of the stipulations that I had was that he had to have Jesus Christ as his Savior. He said he did and then I found out after we were married that he had lied to me. The Master Manipulator is what I call him and I would like to see you try that one on for size. There is so much more to the story than this, but that is another cookie for another day. Every day is a struggle for me. I take one day at a time. Can you imagine having to go to the bathroom in a bucket because you are trying to save a few dollars on sewage, or that you don't have money for Monstat 1-Day treatent for your yeast infections because Magic Cards are too important to your husband? You cannot begin to imagine my world. Be happy the guy is only conceited and nothing more. If he is more than that he will deny you the very freedom you have so he can satisfy his material wants (not needs).
Why in the world do you stay with this low-life?  Living on the street would be a better choice!  I do not understand why women subject themselves to years of this kind of life.  I would rather be miserable and dirt-floor poor forever than live this kind of life.  Get a backbone and leave his sorry butt....today!
 

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