Messages By: thriceshy

Sure, is anyone really surprised by that?  People slap their inconvenient kids on meds at 3 years old.  Does that mean that no meds are ever called for in children?  Of course not. 

I blame the parents, I do.  I think you have a responsibility to educate yourself about medications and "disorders" before merrily drugging your child.  I blame doctors, too.  Too many physicians out there willing to prescribe without justification.  As the former friend of parents who slammed their 3 year old on Cylert because they'd decided she was ADHD (child seemed perfectly normal to me, and I was providing daily child care), I feel comfortable saying that children are often medicated to compensate for inept parenting and inadequate medical advice.  Sadly, those parents whose children really do need medication probably find themselves on the defensive because of the unnecessary medicating going on in so many families. 

That said, I think Tom Cruise is a grandstanding kid with a religion to push.  His "understanding" of psychology and mental disturbances appears to come straight from a Scientology handbook.  Hate to break it to him, but Scientology is perhaps not the best source of unbiased information concerning mental illness.  After all, Scientology benefits, both financially and in terms of membership, from convincing people that their methods are better than traditional treatments. 

I believe that medicating for depression should be, whenever possible, a temporary step up.  A way of stabilizing a patient until such time as counseling and behavioral changes can effect long term benefits.  Certainly, some folks do need these medications long term, but many don't.   I think our medical community has a duty to put forth the effort necessary to figure out which is which, and act accordingly.   

. . . but reflux/GERD is a condition which, in infants, is most often associated with a lack of breastfeeding.  When an infant doesn't receive proper nutrition (and formula is a lacking second to breast milk), problems result--sometimes including GERD and learning disabilities (and ear infections, compromised eyesight, dental caries, asthma, diabetes, etc.).   

I'm not trying to hack on you, but I find your post absolutely illuminating and completely appropriate to the subject--perhaps, instead of figuring out what medications to give to children to make their tummies feel better or make them better attend at school, we should be figuring out why there are so many sore bellies and hyper kids and do what's necessary to prevent it. 

Tammy, I just read the quote from your post, but can't find your post.  I just wanted to say that you're absolutely right--the violence, and especially the self-directed violence, are serious, serious things, and that both medication and therapy would seem to be called for.  It seems you're on top of things, and I just wanted to let you know I think you're terrific. 

Back in college, I worked as a "relief house-parent" in a group home for Prader-Willi "kids."   In a nutshell, my husband and I would arrive at 3 pm Friday afternoon and stay until Monday morning.  We prepared meals (according to each client's diet plan), did the shopping, supervised all activities, helped with personal hygiene issues, and dispensed medication, including insulin and anti-psychotics.  We took them to the mall, took them to movies each Friday night, took them to the fair, etc.  Our clients' IQs ranged from 32 to 80.   

Smacking a Prader-Willi kid for craving food is like smacking them for breathing--it's not a chosen behavior, it is what and who they are.  Can they be maddening?  You bet--they're prone to rage episodes, obsessive behaviors, self-mutilation, awful behaviors like rumination, and will do anything possible to get food--including climbing out a window at 2 am, sneaking across an alfalfa field, and breaking into a neighbor's garage to forage in a freezer and eat frozen, raw meat.   Think about it--who would CHOOSE to gnaw on frozen, raw hamburger?  It's not a choice, it's an inherent compulsion. 

My advice to anyone who feels they can't resist smacking/belittling/abusing their Prader-Willi child?  Find a good group-home environment and place your child there with people who understand the disorder and can provide your child with the structure, training, supervision, and affection they need.   

Kris 

It's not often I feel this way, but Dr. Phil dropped the ball here in a HUGE way.  Practically shouting at a woman who doesn't/won't pretend to be thrilled that her child is having to go with a possible molester?  Asking her if her attempts at comforting her child aren't exascerbating the problem?

Excuse me?

If the courts were forcing me to honor a visitation agreement with a likely child molester, I sure as heck wouldn't be saying, "Come on, sweetie, go with Daddy, it'll be fun!"  No, provided I hadn't fled the state with my child in order to protect her, I would say, "I'm sorry, baby, I know you don't want to go, and I don't want you to go."  To expect anything different from a woman who loves her child is unrealistic and unfair.

Perhaps directing audience wrath or suspicion toward Kaylee's mother makes the show more interesting or dramatic, but I felt it really did her a great disservice.  She was/is trying to protect her child.  Ignoring her child's pleas or pushing the child to stop complaining (about being molested!) is just wrong, as is berating the mother for not doing those things.

Thrice

But a lack of penetration does NOT indicated that the man's penis has not touched the child's vaginal area.  All it means is that he did not penetrate.  It is not uncommon in molestation cases for the pedophile to stop short of penetration yet still obtain satisfaction, especially when the victim is this young and is a relative.  Molestation often starts with behaviors like this, then progresses to more damaging behaviors as the child grows.

This is a nightmare, but, in this child's mother's place, I would not be giving the benefit of the doubt.  Not when there is a possibility that my child is being molested. 

Thrice

I was under the impression that the mother had reported this to Social Services/DFS repeatedly?  Unfortunately, with a custody agreement in place (apparently there was or the father's girlfriend wouldn't have called the police and claimed that mom was refusing to hand over Kaylee), the mother really is trapped.  If she refuses to hand the child over, the courts come in, and she faces the very real risk of losing custody.

Contrary to what Dr. Phil said, Social Services most certainly WILL refuse to investigate a claim if they feel it is unwarranted--and they miss as many as they catch.  Sure, they'll show up the first time, but if they find nothing, they often will stop responding and even threaten those who continue to make complaints.  Most Social Service organizations are understaffed, underpaid, and buried under cases.  Many case workers are overloaded, and have only minutes a month to spend with at-risk families/children.  I find the mother's statement on this absolutely believable, as I've seen the overloaded system at work.

I would like to think that I would pull up and split the country with my child in her position, but that's not really a realistic solution for most folks.  So, realistically speaking, what could the mother have done here?

Thrice