Messages By: steph_42

Cathy, I am so sorry--your post was not the one I intended to reply to--YOU were the EMT who was so kind and understanding.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart--if I called 911, I would pray to get a person just like you!   God Bless, Stephanie

Sara, 

   I was too, so proud of you expaining Gabe's life story.  You are very strong and have a kind spirit.  The show touched me deeply, my child too died from what was ruled a suicide.  I know have knowledge that it may have not been--no note--her H.S. cheerleading squad, at least one cheerleader was into this--and, her sorority sisters confirmed this practice being on the UGA campus--also said that it originated from the GA Tech campus--this is where my 19 year-old daughter's boyfriend went to school.   

   Please do not let people let you feel guilty for not being there for your other son--and YOU should not feel guilty either.  Everyone grieves in their own way and this process takes time--whose to say how much unless you have been there.  Right?  Well I have as well.  And, I still am taking day by day.  I too have basically "not been there at all: for my daughter, then 5, now just turned 6 and in first grade.  YOU have to get better before you can help ANYONE--please know that in years to come, he will understand what you went through.  Right now, he is a precious part of your life, but, still very young.  Maybe my child was so young and never saw ,"Sissy" hanging, is how I am "getting off"  a little easier than you.  Other will not understand, but YOU will. Not only do you have the guilt of Gabe's death, but also, sending your others to wake him for school.  I could say something STUPID like, "It's not your fault--you didn't DO anything wrong as a parent," but, you and I both know how shallow those words are.  If you EVER need to speak to someone please email me.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I plan to spend tonight visiting his website.  Hope that helps you some--I have ofeeling it may.  I will honor him...............Stephanie            Also, I wanted you to know that the following day, I contacted Courtney's HS counselor and explained this show, your story, and how it may be on the campus.  She promised to follow-up. 

I am so sorry for all the children who have been lost to this game or to suicide in general.  I have received tons of emails and this is helping me tremendously.  If anyone would like to email me, please feel free--it helps me to deal with my loss.  I had accepted Courtney's death as suicide, however, I am rethinking this and doing research on ADA.  My child was 19 and such a beautiful, gifted, and talented young woman.  She was anything but depressed. She panicked over 60.00 worth of bad checks that turned into warrants.  One of her sorority sisters called to say that the police came by the sorority house to pick her up--she was at home.  She had decided not to return to the University of Georgia--and had, against my wishes at first, enlisted in the Navy. She was in the Nuclear Engineering program--this requires top military clearance, and is very difficult to get into--only the top 2-3 % test into this program--she did.  She was so excited about the new avenue she was about to take.  At first, I was not too thrilled and called her the night before she was to sign her contract at MEPS--about 2 am, I called.  The sound of laughter came across the phone.  I said, "Do not get on that bus to go to MEPS--I'm coming to Atlanta to get you."  She, in a very mature manner said, "Mom, it is late, I don't need your permission--but, I certainly would love to have your blessing."  I then reallized that my Courtney was a young adult.  I never had to worry about her--she never broke cerfew, was a straight A student, Beta Club, Spanish Club, Cheerleader....the list goes on and on--in her senior year, very competitive class, she was the girl voted "Most Likely to Succeed."  Very prestigious in our small town.  Thanks to everyone who reads this--it helps me to write.  Mom in paine...................Stephanie

Maria,  I am so sorry for your loss and for Kyle's family as well--none of your lives will ever be the same.  It has been over a year now since I found my 19 year-old daughter hanging in her room.  As hard as it is just to function through each day and people everyday will give you words of advice--some may even offend you--just stay strong--work through your grief--and the most important thing now is to honor Kyle by educating others.  Visit surrounding High Schools and speak to them--call counselors from the schools--educate them also.  When I found out that Courtney had been exposed to this on her HS cheerleading squad, at the University of GA, and GA Tech campus--I contacted each institution.  Please help others children not to die in honor of Kyle.  Stay strong.  Stephanie 

It will get a little better, but takes a long time.............. 

I have posted many messages on this board concerning my daughter Courtney, whom I found hanging in her bedroom.  I have just learned from experts through a thorough investigation that in fact, Courtney died from AEA.  I have also verified with both HS and college friends that she was involved.  I am finally glad to know the truth--I always FELT that this was not suicide.  Stephanie