Quote From: dissedmomThanks for the input. I've tried all those things and STILL it doesn't work. My Fiance says that he just ignores him and that I should do the same. Unfortunately, it's harder for me to do since I'm the one with him all the time. I'm told that i'm too picky, too strict, too excessive, etc... I guess my expectations are to high for this child to respect me, not lie, cheat, steal , be rude and totally bratty. He through a fit in the middle of the street in front of some kids who asked him to ride bikes with him. They had said that he stepped in dog poop and that he was retarded if he didnt think so. He in turned flipped them off , called them names, came to the house and threw down his bike, stomped on it, screamed at me and these kids that he hated them and hated this place. I told him to apologize , he screamed at me, started thrashing around and I in turn took him in the house, spanked his butt, and told him his bike was gone since he didnt seem to care about it. His Father, the next day, tells me that I should let yesterday be done, and let him go and ride his bike. UGH!!! His philosophy is that I hold too much of a grudge by not letting this child do something after a spanking. He says that the spanking was punishment enough. Am I wrong to ground him after a spanking? Are my expectations too high for a 10yr old to act his age?
I have to agree with Joyceymay on this one. Spanking, screaming etc. only makes things worse. We are the adults and need to maintain our composure, set an example for the child. A child on the spectrum, or any child for that matter, is going to get more upset if their parent is spanking or screaming at them.
One thing you can do is to teach the child ways to calm themselves. They could have a special pillow that they can punch, bite or scream into to get out their frustrations. Or if the child is content by spinning or swinging or just being alone, you could implement a safe place for them to do this to calm down. Don't attempt to reason with or talk to a child having a meltdown (unless they are putting themself or others in harms way)they are not hearing you in a time like that. Touching a child in a meltdown is the worst.
Once the child has calmed down you can use a Social Story with them to help them understand the situation that upset them so much. Here are some links about Social Stories
http://www.thegraycenter.org/socialstorywhat.cfm
http://www.polyxo.com/socialstories/
This way the child can help figure out what would be the best thing to do if this situation ever arises again.
The best thing for our ASD children is to be patient and kind to them. Guide them and not punish them when they have a difficult time. Physical punishment should never happen.
Angie ~ http://forums.delphiforums.com/asfamily/start
