Messages By: ccdakota

I have been in a relationship for 5 years. The first 2 1/2 my boyfriend was trying to finalize a nasty divorce. I just assumed that when the divorce was finally over we would get married............. we share everything, get along very well, he is wonderful to my son.  He tells me that he and his first wife were really good friends and did everything together also, until they got married and he says then everything went down hill.  Now that is his reason for not wanting to get married. he says he would rather not marry me and keep me, then to marry me and lose me. That is the biggest bullshi* of an excuse that I have ever heard of. I feel like if he loved me than he would be willing to take that chance on me, on us. What do I do??? I don't want to just walk away from something I have put 5 years into, but I am sick and tired of being the girlfriend. We share a home, bills etc. we live as if we are married but nothing legally binding us, I am 29 he is almost 39 in afew days. If anyone can make a suggestion about my situation I would really appreciate it.

 

 

I am sorry about all the problems you had with your pregnancy and this disease, but you stated you were on medicaid and you also stated that you want another child...................... if you cannot financially afford to carry and deliver another child, it is not fair to anyone that you plan a pregnancy to be on medicaid.

My boyfriend and I have been together almost 6 years. He was going through a divorce when we met and that lasted about 3 years. He has 3 girls with his ex and I have a son.  I so badly want to have a child with this man. I had my son at an early age and did not get to enjoy being pregnant or anything. He does not want to have anymore children.  My problem is that he will not commit to me by marriage or by having a child with me. He said he is afraid that if he marries me he will loose me, (relating to his first marriage). We got pregnant a year and a half ago, and he would not fathom the thought of us having this baby. He said the time was not right, we could not afford another child and that we just could not have this child. So I did the unforgivable and unforgetable and had an abortion, hoping that later the time would be right and he would see how much this has hurt me and maybe change his mind. He has given me false hope for a long time. Well ever since the abortion, I have dreams all of the time about having this beautiful baby growing inside of me and it hurts so much. He does not like to talk about it, so I deal with the pain of what I have done alone. I have regretted my decision every single day since. If I would have known that he was never going to change his mind, I would have kept my baby and kicked his ass to the curb. Well, I had one of these dreams lastnight and he asked me why I sounded so down this morning, and I told him about the dreams that I have all of the time. Then I asked him if we were going to ever try and have another baby (like I really deserve that chance again) and he said no, never. What do I do? I love him so much, but I don't think it is fair to either one of us to stay in this relationship, me wanting this so bad, and him not. Someone, PLEASE help me!!!!!!