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Messages By: margreetje

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October 2, 2005, 8:00 am CDT

pregnant when tired?

My name is Eva. I'm 27 years old and I live in the east of the Netherlands. One month ago, my mother, who has been ill for 10 years, passed away. I have taken care of her for that long period of time, because my family lives abroad and my father isn't in the picture anymore. My mother was a wonderful, sweet person, and the idea that she won't see my baby anymore, and that she won't be able to attend to my wedding, is killing me. Because of my mother's illness, I haven't had a lot of time to spend on my own life. I wouldn't have want to miss anything, but taking care of somebody on your own for a long period of time is very tiring. Even though I have completed two studies, but because of the stress, I still haven't been able to do somthing good with them. Now I live with an extrodinary man, who is going to be my husband in a month. I'm glad I have him, because since my mother died, I finally have the opportunity to feel how tired I am. My doctor even says I am burned out. My fiance gives me a lot of strength and power.We want to have children, badly, and for a long time now. We don't want children to hide my problem but because we feel that we are ready for them. My question is if it would be wise to get pregnant right now, or wether we should wait until I am feel a bit better. I think having a child would give me a new kind of energy. It would also be my (our) first decision of my own. It is MY first wish to come true. My fiance and I have seriously tlked about having children for a long time, about our future plans and how to raise them. We have the feeling that all the important questions are covered. We should be a good team as being parents.I want to live finally! I feel that my moarning process is going slowly but steadily, and I feel that I will be allright in the end. But I need wonderful plans for the future. I finally have the idea that I have a future. Please give advice or just your thoughts on this problem.Eva
 
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October 2, 2005, 10:22 am CDT

Should We Get Pregnant?

Quote From: beck12

 Have you thought of other options? Especially because you specifically want a boy - I would consider adoption if that is available at your age (sorry - but I'm not sure).  My sis & her hubby wanted a little girl so badly & they had some complications during her pregnancies, so they adopted from foster care a 1 yr old little girl & it's been great for our entire family.  She is awesome & they couldn't be happier with that choice.  She's now 3 & fantastic & we are all better for having her with us.  Just a thought - because as you well know - you could 3 more & still no girls.  I think it's great to have another if you just want another, but I also know from personal experience that it can be a bit hard at times to be the daughter your father wasn't hoping for.....
 

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